Hineni

I have had a beautiful remix of Leonard Cohen’s “You Want It Darker” playing on repeat for the last several days.

First listen—the song weaves its way into my body and stirs my muscles and bones into supple twists and rhythms. Experience the raw, visceral pulsation of beat and voice and subtlety.

Play the song again, feel the texture of the words gliding roughly over my awaiting and receptive mind, notice the syllables slowly sinking into conscious awareness.

Begin paying attention to the lyrics, revel in the tonal fluctuations and depth of character.

Ponder the meaning… who sings this haunted prayer? “A million candles burning for the love that never came…” Is this Lucifer lamenting the fall? Is this some Christ consciousness agonizing upon witnessing the nature of humanity? Is this we collectively as humans who so fear the light and true nature of love and power that we would rather choose infinite darkness?

Consider the political context and timely obsession with this simple, provocative song.

Look up the unfamiliar word, “Hineni.”

Discover the profound meaning of service, of readiness, of devotion, of absolute trust and faith and surrender.

Meditate on my own offering of Hineni and the implications for one such as myself to claim my path.

Sing this song with my own smooth voice and feel the tortured tones twist my tongue into tragedy.

Recognize myself in my own darkness.

Embody Hineni prayer with every breath.

Know that even if this service takes me into the darkness, I still choose this path.

Play the song again.

Hineni, hineni. I’m ready, my lord.