Healing

Reclaiming My Original Medicine

Original Medicine, Part 1/4

About a month ago, I experienced a profound shift back into myself, which reconnected me with my Original Medicine in a way that I hadn’t even realized was missing. I’ve been keeping quiet about this as I integrate and process, but I’m finally ready to share. This is the first of four installments in the story of Original Medicine that I will share with you during the month of July.

As part of a mentorship weekend with my cohort, I had the pleasure of receiving a session of Equus work from Jesse Johnson. I had looked forward to this for the entire six months leading up to the weekend. I have always felt very connected with horses (both through riding them as a kid and working with them as part of my practice in recent years).

In Equus work, the horses serve as the guides and mirrors of the person receiving the session. I knew that whatever energy and emotion I was feeling would be reflected in the behavior of the horses. These horses in particular were all wild mustangs that had been rounded up by the BLM off federal land in Oregon. Their first contact with humanity had been incredibly traumatic (think helicopters and lassos), but they had since been rescued and gentled under the compassionate care of the ranch owner. I felt simultaneously honored to work with the horses, humbled by their powerful presence and reverent of their pure energy.

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Our exercise consisted of working directly with the horses in pairs. My partner and I elected to go first and were matched with a gorgeous black gelding named Kett. My intention for this practice was to simply enjoy myself, to embody and emit my heart light and to connect with my Original Medicine. Our goal was to silently/nonverbally communicate and connect with Kett and with each other. There was no particular agenda to this exercise, but to simply play with the dynamic.

I immediately dropped into my heart space and felt resonant with Kett. I stood next to him and placed my hand on his withers, then issued a silent invitation and started walking. He paced next to me, turning as I turned, stopping and starting again as I walked. I felt completely present, joyful and aligned.

After a minute or two, I felt my thoughts shift to my partner and my desire for her to have an experience with us. Instantly, Kett stopped walking beside me. I tried to gently encourage him to resume our engagement, and even tried to amplify the energy to elicit a bigger response, but he stood resolutely still. I attempted to shift my energy back into my heart but found myself wrapped in thoughts like, “I really want my partner to have the experience she wants,” and “I hope she doesn’t think I’m monopolizing the exercise.” At this point, my partner stepped forward and formed her own connection with Kett. He began to walk with her, just as he had with me.

As I witnessed their interaction, I felt my energy return back into my heart and connected with my partner. I relished feeling her enjoyment of the experience. I then felt our collective three-way energy as both my partner and I connected with each other and with Kett. Together, my partner and I amplified our collective connection and made our energy bigger. Kett began to trot, then to canter around the arena as we silently urged him with our energy and intention.

As we brought Kett back down to a walk and closed the exercise, Jesse asked me what I had noticed and what Kett and my partner represent in my life. I shared, “Kett represents my connection with Spirit and my authentic light… My Original Medicine. My partner represents my Earthly support and physical structures. When all three (Self, Spirit and Earth) are aligned and connected, amplification and movement happens. When I tried to amplify the energy with Kett by myself, it didn’t work. When my partner and I worked together to amplify the energy, it worked and we got to run together. In order to create movement with my light and with Spirit, I need to bring in the Earthly support. Then we had momentum and it was easier to keep it going.”

Since this experience from last month, I’ve been sitting with that question. How am I living in alignment with my Original Medicine? How am I bringing this into balance in all three realms of Self, Spirit and Earth? Are there areas where this is incongruent?

You may recall that, a few weeks ago, I told you that I was remodeling my work and I asked you what you would like to see from me and my offerings. I have taken your feedback to heart and have made adjustments accordingly. This new direction feels far more aligned between Self (what I’m excited about and lit up by), Spirit (my authentic agreement with Source and my Original Medicine) and Earth (how I am offering and expressing this work, and what my community is asking of me). I will be sharing the result of this inquiry in two weeks (on July 18).

In the meantime, here’s what you can expect from July:

July 4 (today): Reclaiming Original Medicine (story and context for you)
July 11: What Is Original Medicine? (information and offering for you)
July 18: Introducing the I AM Project (special offer for you)
July 25: Introducing I AM Medicine (special invitation for you)

Personal Accountability in the Face of Tragedy

Dedicated to Hannah, Devonte, Abigail, Markis, Jeremiah and Sierra Hart

This article contains no links, offers or promotions. I want to focus on two things only:

  1. Honoring the murdered Hart children
  2. Personal accountability

(If you are unfamiliar with the tragedy of the Hart family, please read here and here.)

I am holding myself accountable.

When I learned about the tragic death of the Hart family, I assumed it was an accident. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe the driver had fallen asleep at the wheel or had somehow lost control of the car.

I knew of the Hart family largely through the periphery of my community. I spoke with Sarah once, chatted with Abigail and Hannah about their costumes and never again personally interacted with any of them.

I fell for the carefully curated image they presented. I saw what I thought was a group of happy, healthy kiddos running around, freely connecting with community and sharing their love. I saw the photos when they popped up on my feed, and never thought twice that anything might be amiss.

When I heard about the death of these children, I thought it must have been a horrible mistake. As more articles described the charges, the abuse and details of the scene, I felt taken aback that this tragedy was looking less and less like an accident.

I am challenging myself to say anything about this topic at all, because I'm not directly involved, I barely knew the family and I generally dislike engaging with Facebook as a conversation platform (*note: I originally published most of this article as a Facebook post).

...but despite all of that, I was unknowingly complicit in condoning not only the terrible abuse of these children, but of white supremacy, white bias, and participating in the suppression of people of color.

By not saying anything, I would be letting myself off the hook, in a way. But that's not how I roll.

I'm hesitant to make this about me, because the world knows we don't need more of that, but that's really my best place to start. If I don't hold myself accountable, who will? If I don't challenge my own subconscious ideas and background narrative, who will? If I don't address my underlying beliefs about privilege and racial justice, who will?

If I don't ask myself how I indirectly participated in the murder of six children who were members of my community, who will?

Most of my work focuses on the micro: how can I support people as individuals? How can I help every human I meet to feel more empowered, healthy, aligned and present in their heart?

I hesitated to share this article because this is a very macro-topic of social justice, but when I ask myself how I can show up and serve more fully, I can approach it from a micro- point of view.

If you would like to join me, please see below for three invitations.

Invitation #1: A prayer for Hannah, Devonte, Abigail, Markis, Jeremiah and Sierra Hart

We call upon and invoke the presence of our own Innocent Hearts, Archangels and Ascended Masters, guides and teachers of Hannah, Devonte, Abigail, Markis, Jeremiah and Sierra, to please be present for this highest of healings for them, for their highest and greatest good. Please support their process of transition. We ask that their karma may be cleared of all abuse, fear, trauma, pain and suffering incurred in this lifetime and in all their lifetimes. Please help them to integrate the lessons of their lives and their deaths, so they do not need to repeat this pattern again. We ask that they receive support in shifting their soul patterns to align with health, happiness, vitality, joy, expansion, ease and love. Please help them move through the veil with ease and grace, knowing that they are loved, supported, held, Divinely protected and guided. Please let them release all that which does not serve them, and receive exactly that which they need on every level--physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, throughout all dimensions and throughout all space and time--so that they may be completely whole and healed. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the blessings.

We offer our deepest love to Hannah, Devonte, Abigail, Markis, Jeremiah and Sierra. We are so sorry for the traumas that you endured during this lifetime. Please forgive us. Thank you. We love you.

Invitation #2: A prayer for Jennifer and Sarah Hart

We call upon and invoke the presence of our own Innocent Hearts, Archangels and Ascended Masters, guides and teachers of Jennifer and Sarah, to please be present for this highest of healings for them, for their highest and greatest good. Please support their process of transition. We ask that they receive the support that they need in order to move through the Realm of Suffering Souls. Please help them to align with forgiveness, compassion, grace and love. We ask that their karma may be cleared of all patterns of abuse, violence, trauma, pain and suffering incurred and perpetrated in this lifetime and in all their lifetimes. Please support them in integrating the lessons of their lives and their deaths, so that they do not need to repeat this pattern again. Please let them release all that which does not serve them, and receive exactly that which they need on every level--physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, throughout all dimensions and throughout all space and time--so that they may be completely whole and healed. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the blessings.

Invitation #3: Journal and Meditation Prompts

It is only by asking ourselves the challenging questions that we can push our edges and grow. I firmly believe that system-level change begins with the individual--meaning that our personal patterns and belief systems directly translate to the patterns and systems present on the societal and global level. If we wish to change the system, we must look at the core beliefs of the people in the system: change happens from the bottom up, not the other way around.

If we live in a society that condones white supremacy, white bias and child abuse, we must investigate each of our core, underlying beliefs. This is where it can get a bit challenging. Looking at something in ourselves that is surrounded by emotional charge, societal conditioning and so much tension and judgement can make anyone shy away. But if we never look at it, it will never change. So we must look at it.

The good news is, you do not have to share your journal with anyone! (I do, but that's me. I have a higher threshold for personal discomfort than most people.) Your innermost thoughts and beliefs can stay on the page--that blank paper is your refuge.

That being said, please take this as an opportunity to be honest with yourself. You might uncover something you don't like--some hidden belief or bias, something that maybe you wish you didn't know about yourself. This is the risk we run whenever we do personal work! And yet, it is also the reward. When we shine a light on our deepest shadows, it can feel profoundly uncomfortable. Please know that you are safe, it is okay for you to look at these parts of yourself and that overall, you will be more empowered as a result.

Let's start with the self:

What are my beliefs about my own racial identity? What does that say about me? How do I want to feel about my racial identity?

Now let's zoom out a bit:

What are my beliefs about other people of the same racial identity as me? What are my beliefs about people of other racial identities?

Let's bring us all together:

How do I consciously AND subconsciously relate to people who are the same racial identity as me? How do I consciously AND subconsciously relate to people of other racial identities?

What next?

How do I want to show up in the world in the context of my own racial identity? How do I want to relate to people of other racial identities?

This is by no means a comprehensive guide. I absolutely do not claim to be an expert on racial justice. However, I am an expert on personal work and investigation, and this is the best I have to offer: a place to start.

If you're interested in more, check out this resource that a friend sent my way: SHETalks WETalk: Race Talks for Women.

Spring Equinox

Yesterday was the Spring Equinox! (Cue Michelle's happy dance and sigh of relief.)

As we step through this Seasonal portal, it's an opportunity for us to bring closure to the most recent chapter and plant the seeds for new growth (see suggested meditation below).

Today, I took a moment to sit with some Winter energies that I am ready to release. One of the primary themes of this past season for me has been inactivity, immobility and some stagnation. Due to my shoulder injury, my movement practice (and thus, my personal practice) took a serious detour and I spent far more time than I would like inside, and not able to pursue my usual level of activity.

As I considered the lessons of Winter and the other energies at play, I honored the stillness that I enjoyed as a result of this slowing-down phase. Last Winter was very active for me, and even though this Winter felt a bit stagnant, there was also a greater opportunity for going within and experiencing quiet.  I invited the gifts of Stillness to stay with me as I move into this Spring phase, and gently honor and release the energies of immobility, inactivity and stagnation.

The seed of intention I planted for myself is around comfortable movement, activity, and grace. I planted the seed of healing, easy motion, physical strength and flexibility in my shoulder to let it grow and blossom within me.

What chapter are you ready to close? What seeds are you planting?

In case you missed it or want to add something to your Equinox practice, here is a suggestion for meditation:

If it feels comfortable to you, go outside barefoot and put your feet on the Earth. Tune in with your breath and arrive fully in your body.

Bring to mind the energies, events and themes of the past three months... what was happening for you over the winter? What are you ready to honor and release from this time? With your breath, invite these energies to leave your field. You may also offer this prayer:

Thank you, Winter, for offering me the lessons of ______________________. I fully honor the gift of these lessons, and I am grateful for how these energies served me. I now release the energies of _____________________. I fully close this Winter chapter as I step through the portal into Spring. Thank you for the blessings.

Once you have fully honored and released the energies from Winter, consider what seeds you would like to plant for the Springtime. Call these energies to mind, and you may visualize them as seeds in the palm of your hand. The seeds glow bright with the light of your intention. You may offer a prayer:

I fully activate these seeds now. Let the energies of ______________________ sprout, grow and flourish in me during this growing season of Spring. I fully align myself and my process to the Spring energies of abundance, fertility, new life and blossoming. Thank you for supporting me in bringing life to the energies of ___________________________. May these seeds grow within me for the benefit of myself, for all those around me, for all beings on Earth and for the Earth herself. Thank you for the blessings.

Place your hands on your body in the place where you would like to plant the seeds of your intentions. Feel them in your body and your field, and make sure to "water" them with further love and attention!

The Door of Initiation

How do we interact with our initiatory experiences?

Many times, until we learn to recognize them, we don't recognize our initiatory experiences until well after the fact. We perceive them as struggles, losses, challenges and opportunities, yet it is usually not until after we have passed through the "door" that we realize the true significance of crossing the threshold.

A lot of the people I work with come to me after they have experienced an awakening initiation: they have stepped through some sort of doorway (sometimes consciously, sometimes not) and now find themselves in unfamiliar territory where the world is not the same... and neither are they.

These doorways of initiation and awakening appear in all forms: job opportunities, death of a loved one, relocation, kids growing up, new people appearing in our lives, financial losses or failed careers, or even just waking up in a different reality.

How we interact with our initiatory experiences usually depends on whether or not we're aware that we are currently crossing a life-altering threshold. Sometimes it takes everything we have to choose to step through that doorway, and sometimes it feels as though we are dragged through it, kicking and screaming.

I have found myself in both of these positions: taking a breath to center myself, then deliberately crossing a threshold into a new way of being--sometimes with excitement, sometimes trepidation, usually both--and also, I have cried, howled in pain and clawed tooth and nail to try to get back through certain doors of initiations in the Shadow.

I feel inspired to share these thoughts today because we've all been here. And we will all be here again. Every single one of us has felt the squeeze, the uncertainty, the discomfort and growing pains associated with an initiatory experience. Learning to recognize them makes it easier to approach with purpose and resolve, rather than dread.

What would it feel like if you knew that your current experience was an initiation in disguise? How would you interact with it then?

Journal prompt:

"What door is appearing to me now? How do I feel about stepping through it? How have I interacted with my past initiatory experiences? How can I claim and recognize them in the future?"

Don't overthink it, just write and see what happens!

The Nature of Service, and Free Content for You!

What does it mean to serve?

I sit with this question often, as I wonder about the role my work plays in the world and how I am driven to be "of service." To serve means to provide for, to present someone with something, to attend to, to deliver, to be of use. All of these may be true, and yet they feel very technical to me.

When I ask myself, "how do I serve?" I come up with some variation of this core answer:

I make myself available.

This availability looks very different now than it did many years ago, as I discovered the importance of personal boundaries and maintaining my energetic protection. However, it still means that I'm living my life in such a way as to offer my time, my knowledge, my insights and personal experience for the benefit of others on the path.

Being available in this way usually entails a certain level of vulnerability and transparency for me.

Through making myself available as part of my service, I have told stories and shared publicly about moments in my life when I experienced deep trauma, shame, abuse, fear and heart-wrenching grief. I have told stories that don't make me look good, don't paint me as "qualified" or contribute to my professional image at all. I have shared moments of uncertainty, questioning and times when I have later changed my mind.

...and I am happy to share all of these moments and stories with you as part of my service. I know that, in doing so, I am making myself available to YOU, so that you know that you are not alone in your experience.

It is said that a Shaman's life does not belong to them: it belongs to their Tribe. A Shaman lives their life in service to the health and well-being of their community, and makes themselves available for the benefit of those around them, of all beings on Earth and of the Earth Herself.

As I bring a new vision to the archetype of the Shaman, by doing this work, I reclaim that my life DOES belong to me just as much as it belongs to my community. In doing so, I redefine the nature of service: how can I be just as much of service to others while still being of service to my own Highest and Greatest Good? How can I share my journey with others in order to inspire, uplift and connect us all? How can I serve even more?

All of us who offer our lives and our work in Service may ask ourselves these questions, and continue to discover the answers.

Free Content and Resources for You

One of the ways in which I enjoy making myself available in service is through creating FREE content and resources for you! I have hundreds of hours of free audio, video and plenty of articles available on all sorts of topics. And it's all FREE!

Check out some of the resources:

  • Free Monthly Master Classes on a variety of amazing topics! See below for March's class, and links to past classes.
  • Shaman Sister Sessions Podcast (just made a new website for the podcast! Links to 50+ past episodes and information to sign in to listen to the live recording. Sign up for SSS newsletter to receive the weekly episodes directly in your inbox, as well as calendar updates with upcoming episode topics!)
  • My blog with tons of articles and insight I've gained from my personal and professional journey.
  • Follow me on Social Media: Instagram and Facebook for updates, stories and photos!

Emotional Alchemy

EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY IS A POWERFUL TOOL.

During a session the other day, I enjoyed witnessing a client move herself through the process of some pretty impressive emotional alchemy. She has been working with identifying and transmuting a lifelong shadow pattern for quite a while now, and during our session, with a few nudges, she took herself through a powerful journey of redirecting her behavioral structure and programming.

She was able to shift her heavy shadow pattern (rooted, like so many of us have, in not-enoughness) and fully recreate her lived experience of this belief. With a little guidance, she formulated a new belief structure based in empowerment, self-trust and service. When she breathed this new system into her body, she felt her heart glow with the strength of this belief.

This process she experienced the other day is an example of emotional alchemy: applying the art and science of transformation to the way we feel about the world. In this case, she was able to transmute her wounded feelings and trigger response into understanding, compassion and self-love. As she practices and integrates operating from this new paradigm, it will shift her relationships, her confidence and her way of being in the world.

What would YOU like to alchemize? How can you apply these ancient practices to your own Self and way of being? What does emotional alchemy have to teach you?

Join me on Thursday for the FREE master class! You must register to receive the login information. All registered attendees will receive a link to the recording after the live class.

I look forward to seeing you there!

Master Class: Alchemy of the Soul

Alchemy, an ancient body of knowledge originating thousands of years ago, is not only the origin of all modern sciences but also a profoundly Spiritual practice. While popular understanding of Alchemy centers around the transmutation of lead into gold, this belies the core principles of Alchemical philosophy: in short, the transformation from Spiritual immaturity into enlightenment through harmonizing with Universal life force. The procedural steps of Alchemy, which eventually led to the foundation of modern chemistry, were merely the physical representation of the Spiritual journey of the practitioner.

Today, we apply the principles of Alchemy in the context of personal actualization and empowerment in order to transform ourselves and our lives to embody a state of grace, harmony and freedom. We employ ancient practices, surrender to the cosmos and align with the Universal Cycles of Power. We consciously ground Spirit into our bodies and our lived, human experience for the benefit of ourselves, of all beings on Earth and of the Earth herself.

Join me for a Master Class as we delve into the philosophy of Alchemy, its role in the modern context and ways that you can begin to awaken your own, inner Alchemist to align with the process of true transformation!

Come prepared with a journal and questions! There may be some opportunities for individual coaching.

Eleven attendees on the live call will receive a FREE gift from me!

Upon registration, you'll receive a confirmation email with login information for the class. I look forward to seeing you there!

Register here to reserve your space!

My Gift to You: Happy SOULstice!

This Winter SOULstice, I've been thinking about what I would like to give back to YOU, the amazing people in my life who inspire me to continue the work I do.

As work with Soul Contracts comes up big time during this darkest, most contract-ive time of the year, it feels more important now than ever before to clarify and clean up our Soul Agreements before heading into a new year.

So, I would like to invite you to receive a special gift. I am offering five FREE Soul Contract healing sessions to you during December 26-29!

Here are the details:
-These must take place in person at my healing studio in SW Portland. Address provided upon registration.
-Once you register, there are no reschedules.
-First come, first serve! Once these sessions are filled, they are filled.
-Register here to reserve your FREE Soul Contract healing session.

What you can expect from these sessions:
-We will journey into the nature of your Soul Contract to examine any clauses that are no longer serving you.
-If possible, we will erase and rewrite them with a healthy, new agreement.
-We will do energy healing work to help this contract alteration integrate gently into your lived experience.
-I will not be doing this work "for" you. I will be guiding you and holding space for you to claim your full power in stating the nature of your Soul Contract with Spirit.
-There will be an audio recording of this session for you to revisit at any time.

If you would like to claim your FREE Soul Contract Healing session now, register here!

I AM an Alchemist

I have been working on developing an I AM Alchemy year-long training and certification program.

It's amazing how the core essence of who we are and what we're doing in the world can be right in front of our faces, and yet it sometimes takes years of practice, learning, falling down and peeling back the layers to see it properly.

I AM an Alchemist, and I have been one for not only this entire life, but definitely many lifetimes. Mentors and friends have reflected this to me over the years:

"Michelle, you're addicted to personal growth."

"Transformation is your THING."

"You work with the process of change better than anyone I know."

And yet, for most of my life, I was blind to the bigger vision of what I was doing.

I feared change because I didn't understand it. I submitted to transformation with gritted teeth because it felt beyond me, bigger than me and outside of me. I felt subject to the whims of the Universe and awash in a sea of energetic currents, and it felt as though every ounce of ground I gained took colossal effort.

Over the years, I softened my relationship with change. I learned to align with the Universal energy currents--the Cycles of Power--and to ride the waves rather than try to steer against them. I developed tools to bring ease and grace to my life. I learned to enjoy and look forward to the process of transformation with excitement, because I finally understood it. I had the tangible skills and embodied practice to become the magical creator of my life.

Alchemy is the art and science of transformation. For thousands of years and and for many devotees, the process of Alchemy provided the keys to undergo initiations of the spirit, burning away all that was heavy and impure in order to reveal the gleaming gold of an awakened soul.

In the year of I AM Alchemy, we'll be applying the magic of Alchemical principles and practices to master the process of transformation and create an easy relationship with change. We'll play with the Universal currents of energy and learn how to channel them into grounded manifestation of our intentions.

We'll explore our powers of self-transformation and actualization in order to come into the fullest expression of our I AM, bringing our God selves into existence on the Earth plane.

If you are interested in joining me on this journey, contact me and I will send you the information for the next steps.

Many blessings!

Solar Eclipse: Courage & the Lion's Heart

My Heart and I have a pretty good system of open communication. Sometimes she speaks to me in words, using clear, precise language. Sometimes she expresses herself with a tender squeeze, or a wrenching twist of outrage or agony. She'll quiver with excitement, sing crystal tones of joy or hum in general contentment.

But whatever the message and means of conveying it, my Heart always tells me the Truth.

I wasn't always as skilled at understanding the deepest messages of my Heart as I am now, but that has come with years of practice of remembering how to get out of my own way and sit in stillness.

As children, we enjoy a graceful and easy connection with our Hearts and their truths. We are governed by the simple desires to be loved, to be seen, to feel connection... we bare our Hearts and their messages to the world.

I hardly need to tell you what usually happens next. We shut down, we step away from our Hearts and their truths, and we forget how to embody that effortless grace and communication.

But the good news is, we can always return to that effortless space. Our Hearts never abandon us, and even if we have closed ourselves off to hearing their truth, they still whisper in our ears.

Under this powerful Eclipse portal, that whisper is becoming a roar.

Any message of our Hearts that we haven't quite been allowing ourselves to hear or honor will now come blazing through in a way that we cannot possibly ignore. What is required now for us to come into harmonious alignment with these energies?

Courage.

Courage (comes from the root cor, or heart) isn't about being "brave" or "fearless." True Courage means living the Truth of our Hearts, whatever that might be. It means creating space and stillness to rediscover in ourselves that whisper of a message, that tender squeeze or drumming intensity. Courage means perceiving this Truth and being willing to honor it by acting upon the message. In short, this Eclipse Portal encourages us to wear our Hearts on our sleeves.

"But it's not safe to do that! Look at the state of the world! Why would I want to make myself vulnerable?"

Our mind presents reasonable doubts in its efforts to protect us. To that, I answer, look at the Lion/ess. The Lioness is truly the Queen of her Queendom. She is an apex predator whose presence maintains equilibrium for an entire ecosystem. Do you think she has any qualms about living the truth of her Heart?

This Solar Eclipse in Leo invites us all to go within and discover our own Lion's Heart. How can we unapologetically claim our seat on the throne of our Heart and live in total sovereignty as the Queen/King of our Queendom/Kingdom?

From one Lion Heart to another, you look great out there.

The Power of Subtlety

"Go big, or go home!"

"No pain, no gain!"

We're all familiar with these statements, and others that also glorify intensity, drama and suffering. I definitely used to be a member of the Harder/Better/Faster/Stronger camp. I think it was a combination of my desire for efficiency, my highly competitive nature and the need to receive instant gratification in knowing that my efforts had achieved some immediately measurable result.

It took me an embarrassingly long time, but I finally learned that healing doesn't work that way. In many ways, I almost felt exempt from the Universal Laws of subtle energy movements. See aforementioned competitive nature. "If anyone can heal overnight, it's me! I'll just do this one big ritual and I'll be good!" Then Spirit would kick my ass in some form or another and I would be forced to slow down, work on the subtleties and not try to rush anything or create some grand Hail Mary healing gesture.

There were times when I was moving through deep healing crisis, and the only thing I could do to work on myself was some mini personal practice, but I committed to doing it every day. One of the most gratifying examples of this took place a couple of years ago as I experienced the trials of the Portland housing market and had no idea where I was going to live. During a healing session, the practitioner told me that my root chakra was almost entirely shut down. I remember thinking, "That can't be right. I'm very grounded." But as I considered this information, I realized that I hadn't adjusted my personal practices to accommodate the destabilization I felt from losing my home. I silently promised myself in that moment to work on my root chakra and my sense of safety every day, even if only for five minutes.

When I saw this healer again a couple of months later, she noted that my root chakra was not only fully back online, but huge! Also, all of my other chakras were more balanced and aligned because of the work I had been doing on my root chakra alone. Aside from the measurable difference in my energy field, I emotionally felt safer, more secure and confident, despite the upheaval in my living situation. I had worked every day for a few minutes on internalizing my sense of safety, rather than having my safety be dependent on external circumstances.

I share this story about subtle personal practice right now because this exact phenomenon is coming up for many of my clients and people in my immediate surroundings. I have had more discussions about subtle personal practices in the last couple of weeks than I have ever had in my life.

In a conversation with a friend of mine last week, we got around to talking about energy clearing. I perceived that his field was a bit "dusty" and asked him what he did for a clearing practice. "You mean like a sweat lodge?" He asked. I answered that a sweat lodge was a good way to do some bigger clearing, but asked again what he did every day for himself. "Oh. Nothing," he answered. At this point Spirit started poking me with a very direct message, so I asked him, "Do you believe that subtle daily practices actually work?" He looked a bit taken aback as he thought for a moment, then, almost sheepishly, answered, "I guess not."

We all like magic fixes. We like thinking that there's one golden gem of a ritual or practice that we can bring in to clean up our energies and erase all the wounds. That's why there are so many "Intensives" out there in the healing and coaching world. There are plenty of retreats, ceremonies and other ways to experience a supercharged dose of healing. There is absolutely incredible value in dropping into your process and doing nothing else for one day, three days, five days, a week, but unless your awareness of the subtleties and your established personal practice is there to back it up, it is not sustainable and the energies won't stick around. While much less sexy, the subtle consistency of your daily personal practice is going to be the thing that saves your ass and creates the solid foundation for all other healing work to take place.

I guarantee you that the subtle work that you do every single day will be one of your greatest tools. This is what will allow you to become intimately acquainted with your energies, your process, your intuition and help you cultivate a strong energetic foundation. It is this foundation that will provide a clear container for whatever intensive healing/coaching/ceremonial work you do, and give you a place to channel that infusion of new energy.

I tell people, "Doing a subtle practice two minutes every day for 30 days is more powerful than doing one hour of practice once a month."

How can you harness your own power of subtlety? Check this out:

A Personal Practice Primer

Congratulations! You're ready to begin your subtle personal practice. Here are some things to consider:

Support

It's a good idea to receive some support in the form of healing work or coaching to help you determine the best direction for your personal practice. What energies would you like to develop?

Time

How much time can you commit EVERY DAY to this practice? I tell my clients to choose something in the range of 30 seconds to 1 hour. Choose the amount of time that you confidently feel you can commit to every single day. If there are some days where you do more than that, that's great! But at very least, you are setting aside that minimum amount of time.

The Practice Itself

So, what are you actually doing during that timeframe? Part of what dictates your practice is the amount of time you allot. For example, if you give yourself an hour, that's enough time for some journaling, breathing meditation, embodiment practices and affirmations. If you give yourself 10 minutes, maybe a brief visualization and affirmation practice would be more appropriate. If you give yourself two minutes, you can create a brief, but rich practice of silence, gratitude and simply being present in your body.

Here are some suggestions of a few things that you might want to weave into your personal practice:

  • Self-healing work (Reiki, chakra balance)
  • Breathwork
  • Meditation
  • Gratitude
  • Affirmations
  • Journaling
  • Embodiment practice (gentle movement, stretching, yoga, exercise)
  • Silence
  • Gardening

It's important also to change up your personal practice every now and then so it doesn't become stagnant. But for now, just get started!

New Moon in Leo: Self-Love, Sovereignty and Addiction

Self-Love, Sovereignty and Addiction.

...Wait, addiction?

Yes, you read that right.

The Leo archetype is well known for supporting the energies of self-love, worthiness, self-expression, sovereignty and shining our inner light into the world. But what does addiction have to do with that?

In short, everything.

In this case, I'm referring to addiction in many forms: not only substance abuse, but addictive patterns of behavior, addiction to beliefs and energy cycles, addiction to relationships... you get the idea.  Addictions help us cling to old ways of being where we get to stay small, disconnected from our truest selves and not claim our inner worth.

Let me give you an example. One of my own addictions that I learned of recently is addiction to suffering as part of the healing process. This came to light during a very intense ceremony where many people were struggling, and I was not. I felt very comfortable and grounded, but started to become anxious, wondering why I wasn't struggling with everyone else. I wondered if the healing I was receiving was as deep or profound as it could be. At this point, my guides tuned in and told me, "We're not going to make you suffer. You are addicted to suffering as part of the healing process, and it's time to release that for you, for everyone in this room and for all of humanity. You need to learn that healing that comes with ease and grace is actually more valid than healing that comes through suffering."

As soon as I heard that message, I released any remaining anxiety I had about my lack of suffering and was able to drop fully into the ceremony experience. Needless to say, it was powerful, profound and I DEFINITELY received deep healing.

Now that it's come to my attention, I can see that this particular pattern of addiction has been present with me for many years. Historically, I have liked to learn things the hard way. I have put myself in many situations where I experience deep suffering in the name of healing. I have used suffering to keep myself smaller than I am, because it's safer than living the fullest expression of my sovereignty.

Another addictive pattern that arose in my awareness recently was my addiction to self-judgement. During a ceremony, I received a gentle correction from a mentor of mine and immediately felt myself spiral into judgement. I made a tiny mistake, I did something wrong, now everyone things I'm horrible, blah blah blah.

I was fascinated to observe this very self-punishing thought pattern emerge from such a tiny thing. No harm had been caused, it was absolutely no big deal, and yet, I immediately plunged into criticism and judgement of myself so strongly that it took me aback. I observed these punishing thoughts like vines made of razors slicing over my my heart and mind, and I consciously released them.

I share these stories because addiction can be sneaky, and most of us don't easily recognize the addictive patterns that keep us small and disconnected from our self-love. In both of these cases where my addictive patterns came to light, I was able to discern them in part because of some powerful messages from my guides, but also because I have spent years cultivating a strong practice of self-love. This practice allowed me to see that these addictions made me feel unworthy, small and stupid. Because of my extensive personal practice of owning my sovereignty and my worth, I could distinguish the thought patterns that made me feel separate from my truest state of being.

I invite you to consider your own patterns of addiction. When you tune into your choices and behavior, what do you notice? What beliefs do you hold about your own worthiness and sovereignty? What patterns do you have that get in the way of living the fullest expression of your self-love? Now is the perfect time for these inquiries. Align your energies and intentions with this powerful New Moon container to release patterns of addiction. This is the first of TWO New Moons in Leo. Use this first one to remove any blockages and old patterns that no longer serve you, so next month you can plant the seeds of self-love and sovereignty under the container of the Eclipse.

(For more information on working with the Lunar Cycle, check out my LUNAR ALCHEMY course beginning September 12!)

In the name of loooooooooove!

Full Moon in Capricorn: Foundation and Freedom

Foundation and Freedom.

Are these two ideas mutually exclusive?

How are the energies of structure, support, grounding, nourishment and community related to those of freedom, expansion, passion, growth and the wild pursuit of dreams?

They're actually deeply intertwined, especially under this powerful Full Moon in Capricorn.

This deep Full Moon container encourages us to evaluate the sources of structure and support in our lives. What is the state of the bedrock of your earthly existence? Is it stable enough to support the rocket launch of your wildest dreams? If not, how can you adjust and call in what you need to construct a more solid foundation? If your foundation is rock-solid and ready, how can you use this amazing framework to support the free, explosive expansion of your joy and purpose in the world?

I've been asking myself a lot of these questions over the last week leading up to this lunar container. Especially over the 4th of July, where the topic of "Freedom" comes up a lot... but what does Freedom actually look like?

For me, Freedom means easy and graceful flow. It means my body, mind, heart and spirit are clear, balanced, healthy and expansive. Freedom means that I am safe, my earthly needs are well-met and I have plenty of space and tine to devote myself to my joy. Freedom means doing plenty of the things I love the most: spending time with dear ones, being active and doing my work. (For real, I'm not just saying that last one because this is a business blog post--my healing, mentorship and teaching work lights me up in a way that few other things do and sets my soul on fire.)

The foundation that allows me to experience deep freedom in this way includes my nurturing home, my flourishing business, my amazing family and community, my health and personal practices devoted to nourishing my well-being. The structures I have created for myself provide a framework for me to be, do and have all the things that light me up. In short, my truest freedom comes from structure.

I invite you to consider these things in the context of your life. What does Freedom look like for you? What Foundation do you have in place to support your continued growth and expansion? Now is the perfect time for these inquiries. Align your energies and intentions with this powerful Full Moon container to build a firm foundation for your greatest freedom.

(For more information on working with the Lunar Cycle, check out my LUNAR ALCHEMY course beginning September 12!)

From one free spirit to another, you look great out there.

What I Learned From Dancing With Angels

I'm feeling very tender and hypersensitive today.

But spending the weekend holding ceremony, communing with spirits, dancing with Angels and opening a Galactic channel will do that to you, I suppose.

I had the pleasure and honor of being invited to attend ceremony this past weekend with one of the foremost experts in Spiritism and Mediumship in the country. The weekend was a whirlwind of visions, healing, working in the astral plane and connecting with the Divine. I am being guided to share one particular message with you.

Part of the ceremony involved opening up the circle to practice Mediumship. For a more detailed discussion on the practice, please see this episode of Shaman Sister Sessions. In short, Mediumship is a process of opening oneself up to become available to connect with energetic forces, spirits, Angels, etc. In opening myself to practice Mediumship, I issued an invitation to Spirit to direct me in whatever way would serve the Highest and Greatest Good.

During a particular part of the ceremony, people were invited to come sit around the altar and open themselves to channel. I felt a nudge from Spirit to go to the altar, but the particular seat I wanted was already filled by someone else. I felt the nudge again, but still, I didn't move. Finally, I felt someone shove me in the back, making me fall forward out of my seat. Taking the hint, I went to kneel at the open space in front of the altar.

Immediately, I felt a rush of energy as my body began to move. I have experienced trance dance before, but never like this. I could feel beings moving my body to create a flow of energetic current, and I knew that they were Angels who had come to dance with me. After a few minutes, the song ended, and my body returned to relative stillness.

The music began again, and once more, the Angels started to dance my body. This time, I felt my mind creep in with its concern. "I'm only supposed to be at the altar for one song. I should go back to my seat and give someone else a turn." Immediately, however, the Angels responded with the knowledge that I was in exactly the right place, and they would release me when the time was right. I relaxed back into the dance, then felt that concern creep up in my mind again. I opened my eyes a tiny crack and saw that no one else at the altar was moving, and my mind seized upon the idea that not only was I hogging altar space, but I was the weirdo who was dancing while doing it.

Again, I felt the Angels calm my mind. They told me without words that I was in exactly the right place, doing exactly the right thing, and to continue to trust and be guided. Once more, I relaxed and allowed myself to be moved in the most beautiful dance, conducting the energy current through my body.

When the song ended the second time, I returned to stillness, and the Angels released me to go back to my seat.

What is the message from that experience? Drumroll, please:

As long as we practice trust and surrender to our guidance, we will always be in exactly the right place, doing exactly the right thing.

That was one of my biggest takeaways of the weekend. I cannot overstate this, so I'll repeat it as a mantra that I invite you to say to yourself out loud:

As long as I practice trust and surrender to my guidance, I will always be in exactly the right place, doing exactly the right thing.

Yes, our minds may creep in to make us doubt ourselves. Our human brains are very good at trying to keep us safe and make us question things that seem beyond reason or control. That is, after all, their job. But guidance exists beyond reason or control, and the Divine forces we invoke possess no human limitations or concept of shame or social correctness.

As I integrate the energies and messages from ceremony, I'll be asking myself the following questions (and I invite you to do the same):

  • Where in my life am I in alignment with my guidance?
  • Where in my life am I not in alignment with my guidance?
  • How can I more fully practice trust and surrender in order to bring myself into alignment with my guidance in all areas of my life?
  • What is required for me to show up differently to practice trust and surrender with ease and grace?
  • Where can I call guidance into my life in order to support me in embodying the Highest and Greatest Good?

And one more time, for good measure:

As long as I practice trust and surrender to my guidance, I will always be in exactly the right place, doing exactly the right thing.

Many blessings!

Summer Solstice: Expansion & Contraction

I don't know about you, but I need a break.

I just arrived a few hours ago in San Diego to visit my dear sister, Katherine Bird. Over the next several days, we'll be facilitating ceremony, attending ceremony, doing healing work and offering our channeling and mediumship skills as guest experts in a Galactic Channeling Activation intensive workshop.

This is definitely not a vacation.

And yet, as soon as I arrived, I felt my nervous system immediately go into a state of contraction in anticipation of rest and nurturing.

When working with Cycles of Power, expansion and contraction are both equally important parts in the ebb and flow of energy. Today, on the Summer Solstice, we exist in the biggest possible container of light--the greatest potential for expansion. We have been building to this point for the last few months and the energies of expansion will continue to prevail throughout the summer, then wane back into contraction in the fall. This is the time to harness the power of illumination to reveal the deepest parts of ourselves that might otherwise stay hidden.

ILLUMINATION. WITNESSING. REVELATION. EXPRESSION. These are the keys of the Summer Solstice.

So, where does Contraction fit in all this?

Contraction is the space that enables us to go within, set our intentions, write the contracts (literally, "CONTRACT-ion") for our soul blueprints, work with the Karmic records and adjust our energy frequencies. Contraction is the essential counterpoint that turns Expansion into an effective, directed process, rather than an unsustainable explosion of energy.

I need to contract first in order to expand even more.

As I prepare to dive in deep and move some massive energies (I can feel it already), I will be taking some time for stillness and receiving. I'll be attending a singing and voice activation workshop with a master sound healer, lounging in the sun with my sister and snacking on healthy food. I'll be journaling (see below for my Solstice Gift to you!), setting my intentions and preparing to deeply alter my soul contract.

And then, I'll be ready to expand even further and continue the Cycle of Power.

What are your intentions for this powerful time?

Happy Solstice!

Identity Structure

This article is a follow-up exercise to my last post.

What makes up an Identity Structure?

Identity structures are exactly what you'd imagine: they're all the parts of ourselves that constitute any component of what we might identify as "Self." Some of the things included in our identity structures are:

-Physical body: What container do you live in?
-Emotional body: How do you feel about things?
-Mental body: What do you think about things?
-Energy body: What is your vibration and how does it respond to the world?
-Thoughts and beliefs: How do you think and feel about the world?
-Relationships: What role do you play in other people's identity structures and what roles do they play in yours?
-Childhood/past events: What formative experiences shaped your beliefs about the world?
-Memories: What is your subjective interpretation of past events?
-How you spend your time: Sacred Work/job, activities, pastimes... what do you do with your precious days?
-Language: What words do you use to speak about yourself and your existence?
-Interests: What captivates your attention?
...and SO many more!

Understanding Your Identity Structure

In order for us to work with the nuances of identity structure, we have to know what comprises the foundation of our Being. Here's my best advice to you:

Start with ONE of the points above. With your journal, sit quietly in meditative space and write intuitively about what comes up for you when you examine that facet of Self. For example, if you were to choose the "Memories" option, you might ask yourself, "What are some of the strongest memories I have from my childhood? What emotions are attached to those memories? What do those memories say about me? How do I feel about them?"

After you feel complete, review what you wrote and notice what jumps out at you. Is there any new information there? What themes do you notice? Does what you wrote feel positive and in alignment with a healthy identity structure? Does it feel as though it needs some further investigation and support to be fully processed and integrated?

The Outcome of Working with Identity Structure

Why do we do this? Ultimately, knowing who we are on all levels and allowing it to be witnessed is what lets us live our fullest expression. By diving deep and asking ourselves, "Who am I?" we create space for healing, processing and a healthy way of being in the world for ourselves and for everyone else.

Identity: The Dangers of Suppression

"Who am I?"

No small question, to be sure.

I spend a lot of time thinking, teaching, speaking and writing about identity and its manifestations in myself and my clients. Who are you as a healer? How does your Soul's Mission express itself? What parts of your Medicine are ready to be claimed? These are all sub-questions of that core inquiry: Who am I?

Up until recently, the concept of identity seemed to me to only be a net positive process of investigation. In other words, of course it's a good thing for people to discover and claim all parts of themselves! A few weeks ago, however, I had a startling revelation that has drastically altered my viewpoint on the universal implications of claiming our identities.

In the way that we remain casually connected with people through social media, I saw the coming-out declaration of an old classmate of mine. In a lovely and articulate post, she introduced herself as a transgender woman and showed her true face to the world. One line in particular struck me deeply: "This past year, as I approached my 30th birthday, I realized that while everyone else was exceedingly happy with who I was, I was decidedly not, and, if I didn't do something about it, I knew I wouldn't make it to my 40th."

As the implications of this sunk in, I realized that while it is not only a positive and healthy thing for us to claim and honor our identities, NOT doing so is not a neutral choice, it is an ACTIVELY DETRIMENTAL and DANGEROUS one. The results of suppressing or ignoring any part of our true selves are damaging and potentially life-threatening.

I was staggered. Something had clicked for me in a new way as I thought about all the means that so many of us take to shut down or stifle parts of ourselves. When it comes to our fundamental existence, there is no such thing as neutral: we are living and thriving, or we are withering and dying.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Let's think about this from the societal perspective. The way we behave and the choices we make in the world gives permission and sets the tone for other people to do the same. We are resonant beings whose frequencies respond to each other, so when people in a society are well, happy and fulfilled, it ripples out to others. The same is true for disharmonious frequencies. When people are unwell, unhappy and suppressed, that ripples out as well.

It is imperative, therefore, not only for our own health and well-being, but for that of ALL beings, that we choose to fully claim and honor all parts of our identities. If we don't, they wither, and we collectively create a society of slowly dying people.

I say this not to induce despair, but to emphasize the vital nature of this question: "Who am I?" If we don't fully know who we are, how can we honor those deepest parts of ourselves? How can we give life to and nurture the many faces of our infinitely complex being? How can we grow and thrive and, together, cultivate a society where all beings are inspired and given permission to fully express the truth of their hearts?

From one Warrior of the Light to another, I promise to keep asking myself that question every day so I can continue to honor all parts of my being. I do so not only for myself, but for the health and well-being of ALL beings.

So I ask you, now:

Who are you?
 

Life Review: Birthday Edition

My upcoming birthday is prompting even more introspection and self-examination than usual! I'm turning 30 on Thursday, and as I prepare to celebrate my life and usher in a new decade of even greater awesomeness, I'm taking the time for some considerable life review.  (I also have a GIFT for you!! See below.)

One of the big things that came up as I was on vacation a couple of weeks ago was appreciating just how quickly change occurs. I was at SOAK (a regional Burning Man event which I have been attending since 2011) staring at the massive bonfire and remembering who I was one short year ago, and how I was in such a different place in my life. I continued to follow this train of thought back over the years and was struck with so much appreciation for the way in which change occurs much more quickly than we realize. Maybe this isn't new information to you, but it was a revelation to me. I know I tend to run around the world with a certain degree of impatience, always wanting to accomplish things as quickly and efficiently as possible because there's so much to do!! However, things only feel like they're moving slowly when I zoom in and look at the short-term. As soon as I was able to widen my perspective and take in the last year (and widen even further to take in the last several years), I felt enormously humbled for just how much change I have created in the last year. Let's take a look at some highlights (and lowlights, because those are important, too):

  • On my birthday last year, I officially began claiming my medicine in an even deeper way by calling myself Michelle Hawk and honoring the name that Spirit had given me.
  • (Just over one year ago, but it's so close that we're counting it) I successfully redid/rebranded my business and launched my gorgeous new website.
  • I went through the trauma of losing my home and my amazing roommate, was gifted with a safe place to land over the winter, and two months ago moved into an amazing Goddess Temple house in a beautiful neighborhood.
  • My wonderful witch mother, Rosemary, and I officially released and began teaching our Illumination Reiki™ curriculum. We've been working on this for YEARS and it feels amazing to put this out into the world!
  • We also began teaching our classes at a gorgeous studio space (Vibrant Studios) in SW Portland. If you haven't seen it yet, we'd love to have you join a workshop and check it out!
  • On the personal note, I took a deep look at my patterns in relationships. I learned hard and valuable lessons from a couple of boyfriends and did amazing healing work to heal and finally release some old trauma from an abusive relationship.
  • My wonderful sister Katherine Bird and I began our video podcast, Shaman Sister Sessions, which will soon be available on iTunes!
  • I successfully trained for and ran my FIRST ever race! I ran a half marathon (ran every step of the way, no stopping or walking) and finished just over my goal of 2 hours (2:01:13, which is pretty darn close). 10k coming up next!
  • I reworked my healing and mentorship offerings to include Spiritual Warrior Mentorship for my clients who are ready to fully claim the magic of their Divine nature.
  • I gave a twist to my New Moon Rising intensive program and am delighted to offer it in its newest incarnation this fall!!
  • I spoke at a conference for the first time, taught a breakout workshop at another conference, traveled to California to teach at a retreat and was invited to speak at another conference in October (I just learned that I'll be giving the closing keynote speech on the first day!!).
  • I finally started treating my work like a business, instead of "just" my life purpose and passion. I cannot overstate how huge this is.
  • I released a lot of old beliefs, did a lot of hard personal work, coached myself through heartache and tears, loved myself fiercely enough to hold my ground and speak my Truth, trusted myself and Spirit enough to take some big leaps and danced plenty along the way!

It is so important to look back every now and then in order to really appreciate how much we have changed, how far we have come and how darn quickly it all happened! Thank you for the part YOU have played in my journey. It is a pleasure to walk with you on this path. Let us continue to witness each other in our magnificent unfolding.

Many blessings,

Michelle Hawk Signature

Okay, your turn! And here's the GIFT part:

In celebration of my 30th birthday, I am offering you a free 30-minute call with me! One on one, your chance to chat with me about whatever you like. Life purpose stuff? Big questions? Important decisions? Spending half an hour just catching up and telling jokes? Sure! Send me an email (please include your phone number) and we'll set up a time to talk.

 

In addition, I have an invitation for you.

While this is not required for you to claim your GIFT call with me, I highly suggest doing this exercise before we talk (or anytime). Grab a journal, cup of tea and settle in for some life review of your own!

  • Make a list (like I did above) of the standout events, accomplishments, revelations, personal growth moments, low points, etc of the past year. 
  • After you have your list, give yourself a hug! You've done a lot in just a short time.
  • Next, rate each list item on a 1-10 scale in terms of emotional charge (1 is no emotion attached, 10 is very emotionally charged).
  • Everything that scored an 8 or higher, look at more closely. As you re-read these items on your list, drop into your body and your breath. Notice what sensations and emotions are attached. Do these things feel expansive or contractive? Are they associated with joy, fear, love, rage, grief, pain, euphoria or something else?

The emotional charge that we hold from these defining events informs our current experience and way of being in the world. Notice what revelations come up for you as you look at this list. If you choose to claim your GIFT call with me, we can look more closely at some of these things and identify how they're impacting your lived experience, and what alchemy needs to take place in order to integrate the lessons.

Song as Medicine

Over the past month or so, I've been sitting in deep contemplation with my relationship to music and song. This is still a fairly new and somewhat vulnerable theme for me, but I feel called to share it with you! (For more background on how this has been coming up for me, check out this previous article.) Suffice it to say that I am currently exploring Healing Songs as an important manifestation of my medicine and Sacred Work in the world.

Last night, I had a Medicine Dream that reaffirmed this theme for me:

In my dream, I was performing as the closing act of a concert which took place in a church. I was supposed to play a song on the flute. Even though in my dream I didn't know how to play the flute, some part of my subconscious nature did, so I trusted that I would be able to perform the complicated song when the time was right.

I opened my performance by speaking about Standing Rock and offering a prayer for the sacred waters and the Water Protectors. Many people in the audience started talking and ignoring me as I spoke. I became angry and frustrated and tried to play my flute song, but was barely able to make any noise come out of the instrument. As I grew more frustrated and the show director asked me to leave the stage, I heard a subtle thread of drum beats and music coming from somewhere nearby. My microphone was still on, so I started to sing. I sang my frustration at the people for ignoring the prayer, I sang a call to prayer and I sang the prayer itself. People stopped talking in order to listen to the prayer song, and I started dancing the prayer as well. It was a simple, powerful song that reverberated around the church and pulled people into its strength.

At this point, some older men came into the church, playing drums. It was their music I had heard in the distance. They came to play with me as I sang and they spoke to me, offering me their blessings and witnessing me in my prayer song. I awoke still reverberating with the power of the song and the message.

I know these men represent my guides, who appeared to support me in sharing my song. My voice is my instrument of power, and while I don't know exactly how it will manifest, Healing Songs are an essential component of my Sacred Work in the world. While revealing this publicly still feels sort of new and tender, I am so excited to continue exploring this powerful Medicine! More on this to come, I'm sure.

Healing the Money Story

MONEY MEDITATION

Following Tuesday's episode of Shaman Sister Sessions in which we discussed healing the archetypes (catch this and other episodes here), I decided to do some of my own work on my inner "Impoverished Healer" and my Money Story today.

In the way that the Universe works in perfect timing, I received some immediate feedback that this was the perfect thing to do. One of the ridiculously synchronistic signs was this journal prompt I received in my email today:

"What do my thoughts, fears, believes and desires about money say about me? How do I want to treat money? How do I want money to treat me?"

Here is my 10-minute flow journaling entry:

I am intimidated by Money. It has a cold face. It is dispassionate. I can't hear it the way I hear Life. The current of Money exists outside of me. It feels mechanical. I don't want to be a part of a mechanical, cold system. I do not see/feel the life in money.

I would like to understand the life force of money. I want to appreciate it as I appreciate living things. I want to feel its pulse and discover its warmth.

"Cold, hard cash." :(

Money is sovereign, it is not a servant. It has its own soul contracts and agreements. Money knows its own value.

I want Money to be attracted to my vibration. I want it to feel nourished in my presence--swoop in like a flock of sparrows to receive some admiration, appreciation, a handful of seeds, then fly out again to continue on its way.

I want to be friends with Money. I want us to be allies, partners, co-creative visionaries who conspire to bring Joy to all.

I want Money to be on board with my vision and show up to support me in its actualization. I want to honor the life of Money and view it as an equal--it is an entity in itself.

I want to understand its movements.

I want to invite Money to make itself comfortable with me and let us get to know each other. I want to offer it a cup of tea and look at crystals together. I want to thank Money for all that it has already offered me. I want to express my gratitude to this friend and ally who has grown with me and enabled me to invest in myself and my vision.

~~~

I followed this by sitting down and individually thanking a stack of $100 bills, then inviting them to get comfy on my meditation cushion. They seem to like it there.

Sacred Finances Conscious Business Money Meditation

Turning Down Clients: A Practice in Devotion and Discernment

IT IS OKAY TO TURN DOWN A CLIENT.

I just turned down a potential client who was interested in working with me because it felt like the wrong fit. When he described the kind of coach he was looking for, I knew that we wouldn't be a good match. I referred him to a colleague of mine who I felt would be a much better fit, but he was reluctant to contact this amazing practitioner because he was very attached to the idea of working with a woman.

In the past, I might have told him that we could work together, happily accepted his money and then struggled through a series of sessions that may not have served either of us. There can be a bit of ego, savior complex and/or scarcity mentality that comes into play when healers/coaches/practitioners are learning that IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO TO WORKING WITH SOMEONE. I have definitely fallen into this category before.

"Sure, I can do that kind of work." "This person really needs help!" "I could use the money." These were some of the arguments with which I would convince myself to take on a client that didn't feel quite right. And, invariably, something would be a bit off in our work together, and I would end up referring them to someone else. Fortunately, I only needed a few of these clients for me to fully learn this lesson.

Turning down a client is a practice in devotion and discernment. By holding the specific vision of the kind of client you want to work with, you attract more of those people to you and get to go that much deeper into the kind of work you love the most. Think of it as refining the agreement you have with Spirit about the way you want to show up in the world. If you're a generalist, you will continue to receive a broad spectrum of clients coming your way. The more you narrow it down and get specific about what you are here to do, the more your potential clients will align with that frequency.

As long as we're on the subject, let me practice being very specific:

My mission is to fully embody and express my Divinity/God Self on every level through my Joy, Love and Purpose, and in doing so, catalyze other people to do the same, thus bringing Spirit to full, grounded actualization on the Earth plane. I work with people who are in the process of awakening to their own Divine nature--those who hear the call to step fully into claiming their power and offering their Sacred Work to the world. I work with Warriors of the Light who are ready to be initiated into the full unfolding of their Soul's Mission. I work with Divine Embodied Beings who, every day, are committed to living fully expressed lives of Joy, Love and Purpose.

...Is that you?