Do you have a dysregulated nervous system? Then you need this.

If you want to heal a dysregulated nervous system, trauma, anxiety, chronic stress or insomnia, and you’re not working with land and nature spirits, you’re missing out on essential support in your healing journey.

One of my favorite books that discusses the detrimental effects of chronic nervous system dysregulation is Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, by Robert Sapolsky. I’ll give you the quick summary: Humans experience cumulative worry, stress and rumination that come from living in a world of human ego BS and systems of oppression. When we don’t resolve conflict or fully process the stressor (like a zebra would run away from a lion, shake it off and go back to grazing), the chronic nervous system arousal and physiological stress response manifest as slow accumulation of damage in the physical and mental bodies, leading to heart disease, cancer, depression, etc.

Land and nature spirits can help teach us how to respond to stressors in a healthy way. Stressors are an inevitable part of living in the world, but we can manage them without detrimental effects if we know how to process them out of our systems. Let’s look at the stressor of a zebra encountering a lion (this model is based on The Power of the Herd, by Linda Kohanov):

1. Feel the stressor (see/sense the lion). Fully experience the stressor and allow it to move through the body, activating the physiological stress response.

2. Receive the message behind the stressor (my life is in danger).

3. Change something in response to the message and return to a place of safety (run away).

4. Release the stressor and move on (shake it off and go back to grazing).

The time it takes to move through those four steps varies in every situation, but ideally, we move through the whole cycle and release the stressor. However, many humans get stuck at any of those four steps, which leads to chronic nervous system dysregulation. Stressors can get stuck in people as:

1. Suppressors/stuffers: People who value logic over feeling and suppress emotions before they arise, creating stagnation in the body and building toward a “rock bottom/red flag” moment, or people who are already dysregulated, avoidant or otherwise dissociative, and are numb to the stressor in the first place.

2. Expressers: People who sit in the feeling space without getting the message behind emotion, drama kings and queens, people who continually emote without learning from the experience, leading to energy burnout and nervous system fatigue.

3. Sufferers: People who never act out of fear, perceived obstacles, judgement, and never change their circumstances in response to stressor messages, living in a state of paralysis and possibly perpetual victimhood.

4. Grudge-holders: People who hold onto stressors even after the danger/threat has passed, creating chronic stress and disease in the body.

Collaborating with land and nature spirits can support healthy nervous system regulation, mental health and emotional peace, healthy sleep and organ function, and recovery from stress and trauma. Here are some of the reasons why land and nature spirit allies are essential support for nervous system healing:

• Being connected with local land spirits, living temples and ley lines helps you feel more grounded, resourced and regulated. Your nervous system can “blueprint” off of the Earth grid and currents of energy to create more flow, release stagnation and bring more healthy energy into your system.

• Grounding and connecting into Gaia through local land spirits can help you feel supported and protected, which will make it easier to safely open yourself to feeling and sensitivity. When we’re holding trauma or nervous system activation in our bodies, we often shut down sensation and body/emotional awareness as a safeguard. While this is a temporarily protective mechanism, it’s not healthy long-term. When we feel safe enough to let ourselves feel, we can process and release the feelings.

• When we open ourselves to connect with nature spirits, we often receive wisdom and messages that are helpful for our journeys. If you’re processing heavy emotions and grief, Hawthorn can support you with heart healing. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the shadow, Owl can help you see clearly in the darkness. If you’re struggling in your relationships, Beaver can help you anchor into family and community while maintaining healthy boundaries. Having strong allyships with nature spirits allows us to ask for support from their wisdom and expertise.

• Land and nature spirits help us move out of overwhelm, paralysis or frenzy, into aligned and sustainable action. If you experience dysregulation as hyperactivity, franticness, mania or you can’t sit still, land and nature spirits will help you slow down to the speed of Earth and regulate yourself to healthy, sustainable cycles of movement. If you experience dysregulation as lethargy, fatigue, paralysis or fear to take action, land and nature spirits will help you create momentum and movement of energy that feels supported and aligned. Land and nature spirits are adaptogenic allies.

• Land and nature spirits help us de-center the Self and connect to the web of life all around us. When we remember the part that we play in the grand symphony of aliveness, it can recontextualize our experience, remind us of our belonging, encourage empathy and compassion, and evoke forgiveness and gratitude.

Do you want to…

• …create a functionally purposeful allyship with Gaia to support your healing journey?

• …work with the powerful energy of local sacred sites and natural temples on the land where you live?

• …receive guidance and support from your nature spirit allies for the purpose of healing and transformation?

• …attune and regulate your nervous system to the healthy, thriving energy grid of Gaia?

Sacred Ecology begins July 26. Register now!

Healing Through the Timeline: Trauma, Ancestors and a New Earth

You may have heard me mention a “shitty breakup” that took place last fall. In fact, the nightmare of those four days took place exactly six months ago this past weekend.

To give you a little bit of context, my ex and I were together for two years. There was a lot about our relationship that was really good and loving, but we simply weren’t right for each other. We “officially” broke up last summer, but continued for all intents and purposes to be in each other’s lives as partners because we loved each other so much. So of course, I was fully invested in supporting her with her big annual event: a four-day in-residence retreat in September.

The specifics of what happened at that event are not important for this story. All you need to know is that my partner of two years broke my trust more hurtfully than I ever thought possible, in a way that was completely out of integrity at every turn. Even worse, this betrayal took place during a time when I put everything else aside to help her and support her vision. Even worse still, I was stuck at this event for four days in a leadership role. I couldn’t leave, as I was responsible for her event attendees. My only option for external support was two other staffers who knew what was going on and helped me hold it together in front of 60+ people. During that time, I called deeply upon my own reserves of resilience and self-love. All you need to know is that those were four of the most challenging days of my life, and I’ve been healing and processing the resulting lessons and trauma in waves for the last six months.

Please understand, I’m in a good place now. In fact, I’m super impressed with myself and the amazing healing work I’ve done. (Self-hug. Good job, Michelle!) Overall, I have grown into a much healthier, more vibrant and alive place than I’ve been in a long time. And even though that challenging experience gave rise to so much growth and goodness, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard as f***. Even six months later, I still have the occasional wave of trauma echoes rolling through, and I get to roll up my sleeves and practice grace and compassion.

One such wave came through in a big way last week, and it's directly related to that powerful Full Moon. (Did you see it coming up huge and orange the other night???)

I felt “off” all day Thursday and Friday. I felt tender, reactive, volatile and like my energy was blocked. I did my practices, canceled everything that wasn’t important and took care of myself because I could tell something big was ready to shift.

On Friday night, I woke up promptly a few minutes before 3am. (The time period of 3-5am is when a lot of energy healing and psychic activity takes place. Usually I’ll wake up at that time if there’s deep healing work to be done, or Spirit really wants my attention.) Instead of feeling exasperated or resentful as I sometimes do when nudged awake at this hour, I asked with calm curiosity, “What do you want me to know?”

Immediately, I knew that I was being haunted. I rarely use that term, but the word “haunted” popped unmistakably into my mind, and I felt a lingering energy present with me. I asked if I was being haunted by my ex. “Not exactly.” I felt some of her energy but it didn’t feel like her, specifically. I asked if I was being haunted by anyone or anything else. “No.”

Then I saw a vision of myself from six months ago, and I realized that I was being haunted by this past version of myself. I looked awful. The energy around me was sharp, hot and fragmented, like shattered glass. I also felt a lot of wetness (grief is a very “wet” emotional energy). This version of me from the past looked enraged, on the verge of tears, and ready to explode. In other words, I saw myself as I felt during those four days.

I maintained the feeling of calm curiosity as I surrounded this vision of myself with love and compassion. As I soothed this Self, I was transported back to the event. I saw my Current Self standing next to my Past Self. I saw my Current Self at times literally with my hands on my shoulders from behind, offering love and support to my Past Self. I literally had my own back. I watched myself walk by my own side through every trauma of those four days. My Current Self held my Past Self as I sobbed in rage and grief. I got to relive one of the most hurtful experiences of my life from the perspective of six months down the road, knowing that I am whole and illuminated on the other side of this challenge. I got to support my Past Self from a place of empowerment, grace and feeling secure in my own health, well-being and aliveness. Instead of simply remembering the event as my Past Self, I got to re-experience it with my Past Self, with all the perspective and grace of my current reality. And it felt completely different.

Take a moment and let this sink in: I got to retroactively go back and offer myself healing through the timeline (Energetic Principle #1, above). Read on.

When I think about my lived experience of the event, I remember how supported I felt, even in the midst of four of the worst days of my life. Despite the devastating feeling of betrayal and horrible disillusionment, despite feeling bitter, trapped and alone, I remember feeling almost surprised at how much loving energy I felt around me. I remember several moments when I looked around and almost laughed at the astonishing juxtaposition: on one hand, a key area of my life was actively falling apart in irreparable damage. On the other, I felt more connected, supported and loved than I had any logical reason to feel.

I know now that, during the event, the support I felt was coming not only from my Guides and Teachers (as I thought at the time), but also from my Current Self offering healing that positively impacted my past experience (Energetic Principle #2, above). Read on.

Two of these moments in particular stand out:

On Saturday night after the main event of the evening, I made my way back to the staff house I shared with my partner. I didn’t even know if she would come back that night, or if she would find somewhere else to stay. Regardless, I felt sickened, physically nauseated and shaking from head to toe. Then the weirdest sensation came over me, and I watched as my hands started packing up all my things. Literally, that’s what it felt like. I didn’t consciously make the decision, but somehow my body was moving as if someone else had taken control and was telling it what to do. I watched my body move calmly around the space and was fascinated at the precise care and assuredness my hands exhibited, while my heart and mind felt anything but calm. At the time, I simply marveled at the feeling and let it happen.

The other night as I lay in bed and watched this vision, I saw my Current Self packing up my things at the event. I watched myself calmly and firmly guide my Past Self to take the necessary steps to remove myself from further harm, just as I would guide a friend or client in the middle of a traumatic situation. What I experienced in the moment at the event was my Current Self directing my movements, during a time when I was incapable of making grounded decisions and taking empowered action. Just like my friend describing the car accident, I experienced the visceral feeling of receiving my own, retroactive healing during the traumatic moment itself.

The other big moment of healing I experienced directly while at the event took place that night as I lay awake in a fiery rage. After wandering around and finding absolutely no available beds (short of dragging a mattress into the van), I had decided to sleep on a narrow cot in the next room, rather than stay one more second in a bed I had shared with my partner. I lay seething, wracked with grief and rage in equal measure, and used my breath to open my channels and allow the energy to flow. Suddenly, I was overcome with bliss. I didn’t consciously understand it, but I knew somehow that I had shifted out of the raw pain and into the pure life force at its core. I didn’t question it, I simply let myself dissolve in that bliss and be revitalized by it.

The other night as I watched this vision, I saw my Current Self kneeling beside the cot, placing my hands on my Past Self and offering all the healing love and compassion in my heart. And I saw the practices and intention I had at the time combine with and respond to this healing through the timeline. In the past, I experienced it as an inexplicable gratitude and euphoria. But now I know that I was able to retroactively heal and alter my lived experience of an incredibly traumatic circumstance. I felt healing take place the other night as I offered love to myself in the past, and I felt healing even while at the event, as I received love and blessings from myself in the future.

When I eventually did go back to sleep the other night, I knew that some profound healing work had taken place. Indeed, the next several days have felt much lighter and clearer.
 

TAKEAWAYS:

(If you decided to skip ahead, resume reading here.)

• I was guided by Spirit to offer healing energy to a past situation, and it worked.

• I experienced a profound and immediate relief by offering healing energy through the timeline. I feel the effects of this healing not only in my current reality, but I also experienced the benefits during the traumatic incident itself.

• As citizens of Earth and Lightworkers on this planet, we all received a powerful Priest/ess activation from the Virgo Full Moon. We are all being prompted and activated to offer healing energy throughout the timeline for the benefit of All Beings.

• As we are empowered Creators building a New Earth, we have the opportunity to offer healing to our ancestors, to our own past lives, to our descendants and to the future of Earth.

• It is vitally important that we use this Sacred Work to offer healing through the timeline, not only to clear and heal trauma from the past, but also to set the course for our future, personally and collectively.

• At a time of tremendous uncertainty and fear, a lot of people are asking, “What’s going to happen?” Friends, we answer that question every day with our choices, our prayers, our words and our actions. Instead of asking what the future holds, part of the Priest/ess path is the Sacred Work of anchoring in the frequency of harmonious alignment, joy, peace and right relation that spans throughout the timeline. The Sacred Work is to lovingly guide our planet and all beings to live in alignment with frequency, and create a New Earth in that vision.

  Get Support:

  Are you ready to step fully into your Embodied, Wild Self and offer powerful healing throughout the timeline, for the benefit of All Beings?
  
  Apply now for Embody Wild™ 1:1! Check out the details and submit your application here.

Practice Prompts For You:

(This is a new style so I'm open to feedback on this variation of Practice Prompt--let me know how you like it! One prompt each for ceremony, journaling, movement, discussion and inspired action.)

Ceremony: Hold a Full Moon ritual for yourself (if you haven’t already)

Journal: What is my Sacred Work?

Move: Ask your body how it wants to feel, move and express your Sacred Work. Dance, roll, stretch, walk it out.

Discuss: With a friend/family/community member, talk about the concept of healing through the timeline. What past challenges and traumas would you like to heal for yourself and for the planet? What future healing would you like to see for yourself and for everyone?

Act: What ONE inspired action step can you take TODAY to move in this direction?

Get Support: Are you ready to step fully into your Embodied, Wild Self and offer powerful healing throughout the timeline, for the benefit of All Beings?

Apply now for Embody Wild™ 1:1!

Danger Junkie of the Soul

My current practice: Sharing my process and feelings while I still feel vulnerable.

I avoid conflict. I take complete responsibility for processing my own emotions. I value my alone time enormously. I don’t like to ask for help. I need to know how I feel before I can share it with anyone else.

The total sum of these qualities means that, when any kind of trigger or bubble of fear/anxiety/strong emotion arises, I retreat. I go within myself to fully process the feeling and return to a place where I feel safe and grounded before I even bring my inner turmoil to anyone’s attention, which can be anywhere from 2 minutes to days after the fact.

I don’t think that I am unique in my behavior. Humans make foolish decisions when we’re afraid, and we don’t like to make ourselves more vulnerable while we already feel compromised. For most people, however, I imagine that this takes the form of stuffing down their feelings and never looking at them until they explode. For me, it means that I go quiet until I have thought through it all and can express myself clearly.

I exhibit this behavior pretty much exclusively in relationship. I didn’t realize that this was the case until the last guy I dated expressed some frustration that I wasn’t sharing my feelings in the moment. When I reflected on this with a medicine sister, she replied with astonishment that I am one of the best she knows at doing this in the context of healing work. Immediacy, perfect clarity and ease of expression come to me effortlessly when working with clients and anyone else in my life, but as soon as I have to practice this with a partner, fear wins.

I decided that I would like to cultivate that skill of immediacy and vulnerability in my relationship dynamics. It feels important to practice this valuable tool, even though it scares the crap out of me.

And so, I lovingly devote myself to sharing my crippling fears, my debilitating anxieties, my bursts of terror and my spirals of shame while I am feeling them at the time. I am currently exploring a new relationship with a wonderful man who has very compassionately witnessed my moments of fierce emotion, listened to my feelings and held me in a state of ease and grace as I fumble my way back to equanimity.

I am definitely improving at this skill. The presence and peace with which I am met in these tumultuous moments have allowed me to bring these dark, twisting anxieties to the light to discover that perhaps they are less unlovable than I imagined. I certainly process these feelings much more quickly than I used to, but I suppose that makes sense. Trying to hold your own safe container while simultaneously addressing whatever emotional imp needs soothing in the moment takes some significant energetic juggling.

I love doing the things that scare me. I experienced one moment in particular last week that literally rendered me speechless out of sheer emotion: terror, shame, grief, trauma and despair all coursing through my chest in equal measure. And even though it felt like the most gut-wrenching thing in the world, I collected my breath and forced myself to speak it aloud. I noticed with some detached fascination as I did so that words could hold so much power and potential for healing. Witnessing myself in my terror and pushing through what feels like some form of death, then discovering that I still draw breath on the other side of the experience, is an intoxicating super power. Maybe this is what danger junkies feel when they risk life and limb. Maybe I’m a danger junkie of the heart and soul.

Examining those beliefs that we all have—the ones that shriek “No one would love me if they knew!” fascinates me beyond measure.

What terrors and anxieties hold you fast in their grip? What fears do you clutch so tightly to your chest that they rot away at your heart?

Are you ready to speak them aloud so you can begin to loosen their hold on you?

From one Danger Junkie of the Soul to another, I’ve got you. Let’s do this.