As Long as it Takes

I don't usually use this platform for movie reviews, but... holy cow, y'all! I watched a documentary over the weekend that has me inspired, activated and deeply reconnected with my Inner Warrior.

When I began delving into my study of Shamanic Astrology several years ago, I learned that Aries is activated for me in a few different areas of my chart. Aries is one of these signs that we see portrayed as strong-willed and independent, but one of the ways I like to think about this archetype is through the lens of the Peaceful Warrior. Aries pushes the edges not for the sake of conflict, but because the eternal question burning inside them asks, "What is possible?" Aries is the Pioneer, the Wayshower, the one who climbs the "impossible" mountain to discover within themselves that it can be done, and to pave the way for others.

The film I watched literally portrays two such Peaceful Warriors in their quest to climb an "impossible" mountain.

The Dawn Wall (available on Netflix) follows world-class rock climbers Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson as they attempt to successfully free climb the notorious 3,000 foot Dawn Wall of El Capitan in Yosemite. In the interest of not giving away spoilers (because I really, REALLY encourage you to watch this film), I'll share with you a couple of my takeaways without referencing specifics. If you watch it and want to email me what you got out of the film, I would love to hear from you!!!

One of the repeating themes in The Dawn Wall was the idea of "as long as it takes." This showed up not only during the actual attempt, but in the preparation. Not only had both of these people practiced climbing for pretty much their entire lives, but Tommy Caldwell had climbed El Capitan for years. When he decided to try the Dawn Wall, he spent six years researching and testing possible route sections across the sheer rock face.

When is the last time most of us spent six years devoted to mastering a very specific task where the outcome was so uncertain?

We live in a culture of instant gratification and guaranteed results... which, when you think about it, is inherently antithetical to true Mastery. The state of Mastery is an uncertain outcome with an uncertain timeline--but we do know it's a long-haul journey. As Bruce Lee famously says, "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times." In other words, the best way to be effective and powerful in a given skill set is to simply practice it over and over, as long as it takes to master it.

Not only did Tommy and Kevin practice the Dawn Wall over and over, but they failed over and over. One thing that drives me crazy is hearing stories about someone who achieves "overnight success," when in fact, they spent years out of the spotlight developing Mastery and cultivating their skills, often failing more than they succeed until they get it right. Tommy and Kevin were in this journey for the long haul, which included years worth of injuries, setbacks, emotional toll and bloody fingers. True Mastery is a journey that tests us on every level, and offers us thousands of opportunities to walk away. Those who are committed to the journey, even with no guaranteed outcome, will show up for as long as it takes.

Back to that burning question, "What is possible?" There was no climbing route on the Dawn Wall when Tommy first considered it. This was uncharted territory in every sense of the word, that would require not only physical strength and endurance, but also creative ingenuity, emotional resilience, fierce commitment and dedication, lots of support from community, and a colossal investment of time and energy.

And yet, Aries is the keeper of the Spark--the catalyst, the tiny explosion of a match that eventually leads to a bonfire. When we ask "what is possible?", we strike a match. It's up to us whether the match goes out, or whether we nurture it into a full, blazing flame.

By nurturing that tiny spark, true Warriors push the edges of what we as a society deem "possible." All of a sudden, the seemingly impossible enters the realm of "doable," and paves the way for others to not only push their own edges but go beyond to become Wayshowers of the next frontier.

We may not all be world-class rock climbers, but I promise you that we each have an opportunity to embody our Inner Warrior in other ways. What is your Dawn Wall? Where is the question, "What is possible?" pointing you? What are you willing to show up for, to practice over and over, to fail at over and over, and to ultimately master?

Whatever your own Dawn Wall may be, know that I'm right there, climbing beside you... as long as it takes.

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Inspiration



"I have a very distinct goal all the time that I'm working toward, and I love the way it makes me live."

~Tommy Caldwell

Reclaiming Our Innocent Hearts

What is the role of Innocence in the heart of the awakened Spiritual Warrior?

Let me begin by saying that I have never placed an enormous priority on the value of Innocence. To me, the word has often been associated with the idea of naïveté... ignorant of and unwise to the darkness in the goings on of the world and the human realm. I remember reading William Blake's Songs of Innocence and Experience in high school English class and picking up on the foreboding undertones regarding the dangers of vulnerability contained in the poems on Innocence. I associated Innocence with childhood, and subconsciously rejected this virtue as synonymous with "unqualified." Especially at the beginning of my professional journey in my early twenties, I was eager to not be seen as “Innocent.”

However, I received some profound teachings regarding Innocence last weekend during a deep meditation ceremony. This gift has since radically shifted my ideas around the quality of Innocence.

Let me share with you some excerpts from my journal about this meditation ceremony:

As I entered a deep meditative state, I began to receive images and information. At first, my guides showed me animals. I connected with (and in some cases, became) a whole array of different creatures, including cats, various kinds of fish, sloths, wolves, foxes, snakes, and so many birds. I noticed as I did so that one quality was ubiquitously present in all of these beings: they lived in Innocence, and in order to connect with them, I also had to be in a state of Innocence. I registered this as congruent with my lived experience of working with animals: in order to engage with animals and connect with them on the heart level and communicate with them psychically, I need to embody my Innocent Heart. I had never consciously recognized the particular flavor of this feeling, but upon further reflection, the energy is unmistakable: being in the presence of an animal (either in the physical or the psychic realm) immediately drops me into my own Innocence.

Following this array of beautiful connections, my guides showed me a series of very dark entities. I saw an enormous, shadowy mask of a being that fed on fear, and I witnessed how these Fear-Feeders cover the Earth, ravenously consuming the energies of human stress, despair, anxiety, anger and loathing… but their favorite food is fear.

I watched this giant shadowy shape with a feeling of detached curiosity. It aroused no terror in me and I felt no need to defend or protect myself. I knew that I was safe. As I regarded it, I noticed at its base the figure of an orange cat walking nonchalantly toward it. The Fear-Feeder had no effect on the cat. I released a gentle breath, and the Fear-Feeder disappeared.

“Fear cannot live in the Innocent Heart.” I heard these very distinct words, and again, I was shown the Earth. This time I saw that the Fear-Feeders easily attached to some people, but not to others. Looking more closely, I noticed that these dark beings hungrily feasted upon the energy of those people who had lost their Innocence, but seemed somehow invisibly repelled by those whose protection came from their Innocent Hearts.

Reflecting on this information post-ceremony, I find myself sitting with this question: What is the role of Innocence in the heart of the awakened Spiritual Warrior?

As a self-identified Spiritual Warrior, I have long associated this archetype with the qualities of courage, resilience, compassion, grace and the ability to fight and be fierce, if need be. The Warrior of the Light must be willing to face the darkness and work in the Shadow realms, though their ultimate power lies in peace.

Until now, I had never attributed the quality of Innocence to the embodiment of the Warrior archetype. However, after witnessing the Shadow entity have no effect upon the cat in its Innocence and arouse no fear in me as I embodied my own Innocent Heart after connecting with the animals, I realized that Innocence is the ultimate protective force. Instead of banishing the Fear-Feeder with an intention, surge of energy or by invoking my Spirit Guides, I exhaled a gentle breath from a state of Innocence and the Shadow being vanished immediately, without a trace or a struggle.

In addition to acting as a protective energy, the quality of Innocence enables deep connection. In the Innocent Heart, there is no room for shame, guilt, blame or unworthiness. Instead, there resides love, compassion, grace, curiosity, acceptance, joy, authenticity, and plenty of spaciousness to invite shared experiences. Think about young children in their Innocence: they love easily, feel no sense of shame or judgement, and effortlessly invite others to join them in their space of enjoying the world.

Is it possible to reclaim our Innocence once we have seen and experienced the darkness?

I firmly believe that there is no experience so terrible that we cannot heal from it and release the wound completely. In light of the messages received during this meditation ceremony, this conviction now includes the belief that part of our journey is to reclaim our Innocence, not from a state of denying or forgetting the darkness, but from knowing that it is there and choosing not to be afraid. When we can accept that the darkness, shadow beings and Fear-Feeders are an ever-present part of the energetic balance of the cosmos, without succumbing to fear or despair, we shall be truly free and empowered. In this case, the Innocent Heart is not naïve, but makes a conscious choice to embody its original nature. It does not deny the existence of the shadow, or engage it in battle, or fear it—the Innocent Heart is simply immune. Its protection is its very existence.

As I sit with this information and integrate the teachings, I invite you to join me! See below for a suggested meditation and journal prompts. Together, let’s explore our Innocent Hearts and find more ways that this quality of Innocence appears in our lives. The Innocent Heart chooses the path of love, and love liberates all beings.

From one Innocent Heart to another, you’re doing great out there!

Here is a suggested meditation ritual for you to explore your own relationship with Innocence:

(For the suggested altar arrangement, please do not choose items that you think “should” be associated with innocence! Let every selection reflect a specific intention and invoke a genuine sensation of enjoyment. If you need some support, call in your Child Self to help you choose those things that reflect your authentic Innocence.)

Find a beautiful candle in a color and scent that is the most pleasing to you. Let it be something that you genuinely enjoy and appreciate. (Bonus points for a beautiful candle holder or dish.) Set the candle, along with flowers, crystals or any other items of your choice, on a sacred altar space. If you do not already have an established altar, please consider this an opportunity to create one!

Place yourself in front of the altar, light the candle, and offer this prayer:

“I call upon and invoke the presence of my own Innocent Heart to guide me in love, grace and compassion. Please help me to fully embrace and embody my own Innocence and reclaim this natural state of being. I ask my guides and teachers of Innocence to please reveal themselves to me, so that I may learn from them and receive the wisdom of their teachings. May my heart be forever pure, and love forever shine.”

Allow yourself to drop into a meditative state and see what comes to you. I recommend sitting with this for at least 10-15 minutes, although please feel free to stay with it longer if you like. When you feel complete, you may close with gratitude:

“It is with so much gratitude that I integrate the wisdom of these teachings. To all the guides and teachers who made themselves available to me for this work, I thank you, I honor you and I lovingly release you now.”

Make sure to journal about your experience! See below for additional journal prompts. Feel free to repeat this meditation and see what comes up as you continue to connect to and build a relationship with these teachers of Innocence.

Journal prompt:

What is my relationship to the quality of Innocence? How can Innocence support me on my path?
When do I feel most connected to my Innocent Heart? How can I more easily embody my Innocence and share it with others?

Grab a journal and a pen. Don't overthink it, just write and see what comes out!