The School of Shamanic Underworld Initiation

Are you ready for a big announcement???

Drum roll, please...

I am going back to school!!!

Now, I know you might be thinking that this seems sort of unexpected. Believe me, I'm just as surprised as you are! Let's just say an opportunity fell in my lap that I can't possibly ignore. This special invitation is beckoning me to continue my studies, deepen in my practice and step into my Mastery more than I ever have. How could I say no?

Would you like to know about this school?

Again, drum roll...

I'm happy to announce that I'm attending the school of Shamanic Underworld Initiation!!!

Hahahahaaaa okay, please forgive the joke. But for real, y'all, if you've been through an underworld initiation of your own, you know as well as I do that it can school you harder than pretty much anything else. (Based on my previous studies, looks like I'll be going for my PhD.)

What is Underworld Initiation?

For those of you who might not be familiar with the term, an Underworld Initiation (also known as Dark Night of the Soul) is a Spirit-led initiation through the Shadow mysteries, usually precipitated by a big life change or traumatic event, and characterized by ego death, radical transformation and rebirth in a new, elevated form.

...that is, if you do it right.

See, the thing about underworld initiation is that most people don't seize the opportunity, and instead hang out in their confusion/trauma or never completely go through the necessary catharsis. Some of the most common ways that people avoid fully moving through their Dark Night of the Soul are through distraction (which can take many forms, including relationship, career, shopping, hobbies, internet/TV, food, etc), medication and substance abuse.

But when we're fully present to an underworld initiation cycle, I am here to tell you that it is crazy powerful and you will come into some next-level magic as a result. It will be pretty fucking uncomfortable, but it is totally worth it.

What do you learn in an Underworld Initiation?

What you learn in your underworld initiation(s) will be different from mine and anyone else's. In essence, you will be confronted with opportunities to shift and/or release your personal shadow patterns and wounding, and come into deeper Self Mastery from a place of authentic actualization. If you're successful, the lesson usually either doesn't show up again, or it shows up in a different way that helps you go even deeper in your Mastery. If you don't make the shift, you're very likely to see a repeat of your Shamanic Underworld Initiation school curriculum the next time around.

Here are some examples of what I've "studied" in previous initiatory experiences, and the resulting uplevel of my skills and mastery (in bold):

• Stepping away from my connection to Spirit, to fully claiming and embodying my holy nature as a Divine Embodied Being, before anything else.

• Questioning my belonging in community, to feeling more connected to a tribe of like-hearted people.

• Abandoning my power, to fully stepping into the expansive potential of my personal magic and my gifts, and using my power with ease.

• Feeling abandoned by loved ones and community, to cultivating healthy relationships with a group of supportive humans who I know have my back.

• Home and financial crisis, to internalizing my sense of safety so I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have what I need, and resulting stability and abundance.

• Not trusting myself and my intuition, to always standing by what my inner wisdom tells me, even if other people don't believe me or listen. I trust myself fully, no matter what.

• Embodying the Wounded Healer archetype, to embodying the Empowered Healer archetype and stepping into my authentic service.

• Receiving manipulation and abuse, to loving myself so much that I only accept loving and compassionate treatment from others.

• Feeling like a powerless victim of my circumstances and my emotions, to being able to confidently draw upon the infinite wellspring of my personal power and life force in order to transmute energy for healing.

• Lack of boundaries, to boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! (Okay, I'm still working on that one in certain areas, but I'm much better than I used to be.)

I feel very confident that I have completely shifted many of these, but there are still a couple lessons that keep showing up in the cosmic syllabus, along with new stuff! I'm so excited about this learning opportunity, I could scream!!!!!!!

Do you know the best part? Every time we return to the school of Shamanic Underworld Initiation, we have more tools. We have additional perspective and information from the intervening years, we have more people in our corner to support us, and we have even more capacity to move a massive amount of energy. Best of all in this case, I actually know what underworld initiations are now, and I know how to let myself go into them without completely losing my shit (there are moments where it gets a little dicey, but I'm much better at being uncomfortable than I used to be). Don't worry--if it feels like you're dying, it's because you are!

How do we get into the school of Shamanic Underworld Initiation?

...why? Are you thinking, "that sounds great! I want to go to that kind of school."

If so:

1. You're crazy. You do not want to volunteer for this kind of learning if you can do it in a different way.

2. You don't choose the school of Shamanic Underworld Initiation. It chooses you, whether you like it or not.

You might be thinking, "But, Michelle! You sound kind of excited about this. What gives?"

Well, friend, I wouldn't say I'm "excited." Again, it's super uncomfortable and I definitely would prefer to not be having this experience. But it is fair to say that I'm leaning into it with a certain degree of good humor and "fuck it, let's do this." I can guarantee you that I fought tooth and nail to avoid going into this underworld initiation, and hahahahaaaa of course that didn't work. But now that I'm here, I am going to make the best of it and seize the opportunity for some major lessons in Mastery! (I keep flashing back to May: this is exactly the feeling I had when I didn't make it on the ferry back from Orcas Island and had a 7-hour wait at the ferry dock. I genuinely felt as cool as a cucumber and in good humor, even though I 10000% would rather have been on the ferry. I made the best of it and did fine once I was in the experience.)

What are some tools for a successful Underworld Initiation?

I'm so glad you asked! Based on my experience, here are some of the most important things you can do, regardless of your particular lessons:

• Do not avoid your process. Do not avoid your pain. Whatever it is, be present with your feelings and allow yourself to completely receive their gifts and messages. Even the most painful circumstances hold powerful medicine, and you'll miss it if you're distracted.

• That being said, it's okay to step back from your process every now and then! Go watch a movie. Hang out with friends. (It's a balance. Don't overdo the checking out, but don't be a masochist hero.)

• Reflection is an amazing tool: journaling, meditation, counseling, talking with friends.

• ...but make sure to receive inputs of new information and energy so you're not just spinning around in your own shit! Read articles, get perspectives from different people, tune in to my podcast (link below), get some outside wisdom.

• Move energy on all levels: physical, mental, emotional, Spiritual. Make sure you have practices to support this (movement practice, breathwork, mantra, crying, journaling, energy healing). I AM Alchemy is a great resource for all of these.

• Ask for help. Whether it's from loved ones, community, or a professional, it is vitally important to receive support and remember that you are loved.

• Remember that if it feels like you're dying, it's because you are: the old version of your Self and your life is dying. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it's okay to grieve this. But keep in mind that you're growing into something new and you get to claim it whenever you're ready.

You know what? After writing all of this, I actually am kind of excited. I can look back on previous rounds of "school" and see how they were instrumental in my personal and energetic education. As a result of these Shamanic Underworld Initiations, I received concentrated growth and learning within short periods of time. I have these initiatory experiences to thank for aligning me with the process of Alchemy (applications for I AM Alchemy are now open), cultivating a comfortable relationship with Death and Sacred Destruction, and coming into strong allyship with associated spirit guides and deities. Some of my strongest medicine comes from these experiences.

I know that these periods of my life when I was most uncomfortable were also incredibly valuable training grounds for my gifts, my resilience and my ability to work with big energy. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

(Have you experienced Underworld Initiation and wish you had more tools for next time? Are you experiencing one right now? I recommend applying for I AM Alchemy to give you tools and support to move through these lessons!

Many blessings,

Inspiration

Sacred Finances (Are you in right relationship with your money?)

Let's talk about money!

...did you just cringe? A year ago, I probably would have. Or at least given a reluctant sigh.

However, over the past year, I've been diving deep into my relationship with money, the financial side of my business, learning to love profit margins and paying myself a salary. Since practicing some very specific things over the past year, I have noticed a very significant change in my finances:

So far in 2018, I have grossed an equivalent income to the entire year of 2017, and I have netted almost triple what I netted by the end of last year.

I feel like I can't overemphasize this. Let me say it a different way. So far, in 4 months, I have grossed the SAME amount of money and netted almost 3X the amount of money as I did during 12 months last year. This means I'm on track to triple my income.

Why am I sharing all of this? After all, talking about money is generally taboo. However, I have a few very specific reasons for speaking so openly about a crunchy topic:

1. I believe that the more we avoid discussing something uncomfortable, the more power we give it. Every time we avoid talking about money, we become more afraid of it. Therefore, by bringing it out into the open, we can become more comfortable with it.
2. Healers and people working in the spiritual/personal development field especially tend to have wounds around money. "I don't deserve to be paid for what comes naturally to me." "How is it fair for me to charge someone to help them?" "My teacher didn't charge for healing work so neither should I." Sound familiar? All of these block us from owning our prosperity.
3. Finally, if there is anything that I did to help myself that might support you on your path, I want to share that with you! It is my mission to empower other people through my own life and choices. If some of these tools, techniques and resources might be helpful, I want you to have them.

In no particular order, here are some of the things that I have done in the past year to come into right relationship with money: (All of this is to the best of my memory... honestly, there's a lot of this that has been happening over the past few years in my internal work.)

• I consciously claimed that I wasn't happy with my current financial situation. (This might seem too obvious, but it's an important step. If we're settled into complacency, or a belief that we're "getting along okay," nothing will change.)
• I talked to money. I treated it like an entity with a unique consciousness, had conversations with it, wrote letters to it, and got to know it as a specific frequency, rather than an abstract.
• I took $3500 in hundreds out of the bank and meditated with a stack of cash. I held it in my hands, went through the stack and thanked every bill, set them out on an altar and acknowledged them every day for a month (read more about that here).
• I journaled about money. A LOT. I wrote about my beliefs around money, my relationship to receiving, my understanding of my own worthiness, and my place in the global economy.
• I moved to a new space that enables me to comfortably work from home. I now have a gorgeous office that is a 20-second commute.
• I made a living prosperity altar. I asked the tree outside my office window to be my "Prosperitree." I placed crystals around the base, hung a beautiful bird (squirrel) feeder to bring traffic to the Prosperitree, and I water it regularly with prayers and nutrients.
• I listened to Fredric Lehrman's Prosperity Consciousness. Repeatedly.
• I quit my part-time job as a substitute high school teacher and tutor. This job was barely bringing in any money, but I kept it around as a subconscious safety net. As long as I had it on the side, it meant that I had a fallback in case my business wasn't thriving (read more about that here).
• I released parts of my work and my offerings that were no longer lighting me up. It meant "leaving money on the table," but it also meant disengaging with old energies to make room for the new.
• I got very clear about who I wanted to serve and how I wanted to do that. This also meant "leaving money on the table," but it also meant that the clients who I did choose to take on were far more aligned with my work and my practice.
• I started looking at the longevity of my business, and building in practices that would allow me to do less, but be more effective in what I was producing.
• I got over my fear of selling people into my work by practicing it a bajillion times.
• I started working with a new mentor who has a healthy relationship with business.
• I started tracking and paying attention to all the nitty-gritty financial parts of my business, rather than just the big picture of income/expenses.
• I read Profit First by Mike Michalowicz. Repeatedly.
• I shifted from my bank to a credit union. This served to work with a financial institution that was way more in alignment with my values, but also enabled me to actually practice the techniques in Profit First and Prosperity Consciousness.
• I practiced seeing my business as the thing that would fuel and fund my lifestyle, rather than my life fueling and funding my business.
• I started honoring the actual value of my time, and asking for that level of compensation.
• I started budgeting for travel, for self-care and for financial independence.
• I got really good at being uncomfortable. ***This process started way more than a year ago, but it has served me so much in my financial work that it deserves a place on this list. The better you can get at being okay with being uncomfortable, the easier it will be for you to sort through your finances.

My best advice to you (if you want to come into better relationship with your finances) is to steel yourself, sit down and actually start looking at this stuff. Looking at your financial situation won't make it any worse, I promise! But it WILL help you feel more empowered to actually know what's going on with your money.

Here are some of my favorite exercises I did that I invite you to practice:

• Talk to money. There is no particular quantity required for this. Get a dollar bill out of your wallet and hold a conversation with it. Ask it questions.
• Journal prompt: "What beliefs do I have about money? What does that say about me? How do I want to feel about money?"
• Make a prosperity altar. It can be a living altar like mine (a tree or plant that feels especially abundant), or an interior altar of your choosing.

Here's to our prosperity!