THIS COMMON PSYCHOLOGICAL PRINCIPLE YOU HAVE PROBABLY NEVER HEARD OF IS KILLING YOU.
Just kidding! But you've probably seen headlines and marketing like that, right? That's because most marketing uses aforementioned common psychological principle to attack base-level human needs. This principle is known as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and today, I'm going to share with you:
My utter disdain for traditional marketing (barf)
How Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and its implications are actually a huge detriment to our individual and collective human experience (actually, it may even be killing us)
How you can re-interpret this principle to help you make more money, have more free time, have better sex and get your dream job (but not in the way you think, haha)
Let's have a look at this silly principle. Maybe you’ve heard of the Hierarchy of Needs before, or seen a graphic like this one:
I see this concept tossed around most commonly in the context of marketing. If you also hang around with entrepreneurs, I’m guessing you’ve encountered this, too. The advice I hear from business and marketing coaches always seems to be the same: “Find the universal need that your service provides for people and speak to that.” Usually, this means, “Tell potential clients how your service can help them make more money, have more free time, have better sex and get their dream job.” Ever notice how much coach-y and personal development programs focus on this in their marketing? If you haven’t yet, just keep an eye out and you’ll see what I mean.
This is where I take huge issue not only with “spiritual business coaches” (BARF) and marketing to these base-level needs, but also with the Hierarchy of Needs itself (and the way in which this plays out in social norms and expectations of the collective consciousness). How are we supposed to evolve as a global community if this is our psychological conditioning?
Let’s examine this graphic. This food-pyramid-esque image would lead one to believe that the most vital needs are physiological (I’m on board so far), but as we move up the pyramid, we notice that Self-Actualization occupies the little tiny triangle on top. In between are Safety (health, money, home), Love and Belonging (family, connection, community), and Esteem (respect, status, recognition). That’s where I take issue.
Based on the organization of this hierarchy, we can assume that the need of Self-Actualization can only be fulfilled once all tiers below it are fulfilled, and that needs should be addressed in ascending order.
This is total bullshit.
What happens if we treat Self-Actualization as conditional upon all these other things? What are we costing ourselves by saving it for last?
What people don’t understand is that Self-Actualization will help you satisfy all those other needs, and in a more authentic and fulfilling way. Maslow has it backwards.
Let’s look at a re-interpretation of the Hierarchy of Needs. Here, I re-imagined it from two perspectives: Shadow (unactualized) and Light (actualized). What do you notice about the Shadow and Light manifestations of these needs?
Let's look at an example "Shadow" life trajectory of someone who pursues these needs in a linear fashion, as indicated by Maslow's hierarchy.
Imagine this: someone spends the first thirty years of their life working their butt off to get a good job (Safety), gets married and has two kids before age 35 (Love and Belonging) and finally succeeds in getting promoted to the C-suite (Esteem). They then look around at their life for meaning, have an existential crisis because they don’t know who they are as a person, quit their job, divorce their spouse and go on a quest to “find themselves.” (Think I’m exaggerating? I can name a dozen personal acquaintances and clients off the top of my head who have lived some version of this story. I bet you know at least one person who has had this experience.)
Now you might be thinking, “Michelle, this perspective applies to a fairly privileged subset of society. What about other types of people?” Let’s look at this play out for someone else:
Imagine that our second person grew up in an unstable home environment. They live in an underserved community but they do their best to try to make sure their family has somewhere to live (Safety). Maybe they find community in the form of a gang or an abusive partner (Love and Belonging). They have a child before the age of 20, they struggle with substance abuse but they manage to hold it together enough to make ends meet and eventually secure a decent job (Esteem). …until it all comes crashing down around their ears, they think, “I can’t keep living like this,” have an existential crisis and lose everything. (Yes, I have had some of these people as my clients as well.)
Regardless of the path they took to get there, by the time these people find me, they are often in some state of desperation or dire straits in regards to their personal life path and purpose. They desire depth, meaning and fulfillment. They want their lives to be an authentic, positive contribution to the world. Above all, they want to come into the full expression of who they are as a whole person. And they know that any of these other external factors (home, relationship, career, reputation) won’t ever be fully whole, healthy and stable until they access the full potential of who they are.
Let's examine a "Light" life trajectory through the hierarchy of needs. Imagine now that both of our example people had had access to the idea of Self-Actualization as the primary question that informed the pursuit of these other needs. (Maybe they learned about it from family, or in school, or through other early influences.) Once the physiological needs are met, the next quests are a simultaneous investigation of Who am I?” (Self-Actualization) and “As I learn who I am, how does that version of myself live in the world?” (Safety). The pursuit of self-knowledge informs the journey to achieve safety, and vice-versa. This self-aware person may then pursue the needs of Love and Belonging as this emerging, whole Self. Then, when they achieve Esteem, it comes not from the place of ego-inflated-self-aggrandizement, but instead from genuine self-respect and integrity. This person has more authentic and healthy relationships, more fulfilling career, more genuine self-image and more potential for continued growth and harmonious existence. (In other words, they probably make more money, have more free time, have better sex and work their dream job.)
Maybe you recognize some part of your own path in these examples. What would have been different for you if you had given Self-Actualization just as much priority as these other needs? What could be different for you moving forward if you made Self-Actualization a true priority?
The problem is, most of us are spoon-fed so much social conditioning that tells us that Self-Actualization is a luxury, when in reality, it is the fundamental question of humanity: to know oneself. Instead of encouraging this investigation, our current social structures try to sell us the illusion of safety, love and status. But anyone who markets to the levels of Safety, Love and Belonging, and Esteem is preying on base-level human psychology. And if I told you that by participating in my I AM Alchemy course you would obtain these things, I would be blowing smoke up your ass. I can’t guarantee that for you, and I wouldn’t want to. No one can promise you that. Anyone who does is lying.
Instead, I can invite you to consider your true needs and motivation. Do you just want to make more money, or do you actually want to make more money by helping people with the true medicine of your own enlivened soul? Do you just want better sex, or do you actually want more authentic intimacy and respect with your partner that comes from knowing yourself deeply as a person, and being able to connect on that level? Do you just want more free time, or do you actually want more intentional space in your life for creating meaningful experiences that will nourish and uplift you and your family? Do you just want the “dream job” that looks good on paper, or do you actually want a career that challenges you to grow as a person, fulfill your life purpose and contribute positively to the planet?
Embody Wild won’t help you make more money, have better sex, have more free time or get your dream job.
But it will help you find out who you really are. It will teach you tools of self-inquiry, mastery and power. It will give you the space and freedom to discover the magic of your own soul and create your life according to the blueprint of your fully actualized Self.
Embody Wild is not a course for results-oriented people who want instant gratification. Embody Wild is instead a course for those who understand that there are no shortcuts to self-actualization, but that once you embark on this path, the world opens up before you and anything is possible. Embody Wild is for those who are ready to prioritize their own journey of meaning. Embody Wild won’t give you the answer to those other levels of need, but it will show you how to create it for yourself.
...and applications for Embody Wild are open now. If you're ready to see what Embody Wild holds for you, begin the process by submitting your application here.
Are you ready for self-actualization, which will give you the keys to everything else?
Many blessings,
Practice prompt:
Let's look again at this re-interpretation of the Hierarchy of Needs. Take a moment to consider your own life path and trajectory.
Without judgement, what do you notice about yourself and your patterns? How are you engaging with the Shadow and Light interpretations of these needs? What does that mean for your process of Self Actualization? Where do you see yourself in each of these areas?
