Are you ready for a big announcement???
Drum roll, please...
I am going back to school!!!
Now, I know you might be thinking that this seems sort of unexpected. Believe me, I'm just as surprised as you are! Let's just say an opportunity fell in my lap that I can't possibly ignore. This special invitation is beckoning me to continue my studies, deepen in my practice and step into my Mastery more than I ever have. How could I say no?
Would you like to know about this school?
Again, drum roll...
I'm happy to announce that I'm attending the school of Shamanic Underworld Initiation!!!
Hahahahaaaa okay, please forgive the joke. But for real, y'all, if you've been through an underworld initiation of your own, you know as well as I do that it can school you harder than pretty much anything else. (Based on my previous studies, looks like I'll be going for my PhD.)
What is Underworld Initiation?
For those of you who might not be familiar with the term, an Underworld Initiation (also known as Dark Night of the Soul) is a Spirit-led initiation through the Shadow mysteries, usually precipitated by a big life change or traumatic event, and characterized by ego death, radical transformation and rebirth in a new, elevated form.
...that is, if you do it right.
See, the thing about underworld initiation is that most people don't seize the opportunity, and instead hang out in their confusion/trauma or never completely go through the necessary catharsis. Some of the most common ways that people avoid fully moving through their Dark Night of the Soul are through distraction (which can take many forms, including relationship, career, shopping, hobbies, internet/TV, food, etc), medication and substance abuse.
But when we're fully present to an underworld initiation cycle, I am here to tell you that it is crazy powerful and you will come into some next-level magic as a result. It will be pretty fucking uncomfortable, but it is totally worth it.
What do you learn in an Underworld Initiation?
What you learn in your underworld initiation(s) will be different from mine and anyone else's. In essence, you will be confronted with opportunities to shift and/or release your personal shadow patterns and wounding, and come into deeper Self Mastery from a place of authentic actualization. If you're successful, the lesson usually either doesn't show up again, or it shows up in a different way that helps you go even deeper in your Mastery. If you don't make the shift, you're very likely to see a repeat of your Shamanic Underworld Initiation school curriculum the next time around.
Here are some examples of what I've "studied" in previous initiatory experiences, and the resulting uplevel of my skills and mastery (in bold):
Stepping away from my connection to Spirit, to fully claiming and embodying my holy nature as a Divine Embodied Being, before anything else.
Questioning my belonging in community, to feeling more connected to a tribe of like-hearted people.
Abandoning my power, to fully stepping into the expansive potential of my personal magic and my gifts, and using my power with ease.
Feeling abandoned by loved ones and community, to cultivating healthy relationships with a group of supportive humans who I know have my back.
Home and financial crisis, to internalizing my sense of safety so I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have what I need, and resulting stability and abundance.
Not trusting myself and my intuition, to always standing by what my inner wisdom tells me, even if other people don't believe me or listen. I trust myself fully, no matter what.
Embodying the Wounded Healer archetype, to embodying the Empowered Healer archetype and stepping into my authentic service.
Receiving manipulation and abuse, to loving myself so much that I only accept loving and compassionate treatment from others.
Feeling like a powerless victim of my circumstances and my emotions, to being able to confidently draw upon the infinite wellspring of my personal power and life force in order to transmute energy for healing.
Lack of boundaries, to boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! (Okay, I'm still working on that one in certain areas, but I'm much better than I used to be.)
I feel very confident that I have completely shifted many of these, but there are still a couple lessons that keep showing up in the cosmic syllabus, along with new stuff! I'm so excited about this learning opportunity, I could scream!!!!!!!
Do you know the best part? Every time we return to the school of Shamanic Underworld Initiation, we have more tools. We have additional perspective and information from the intervening years, we have more people in our corner to support us, and we have even more capacity to move a massive amount of energy. Best of all in this case, I actually know what underworld initiations are now, and I know how to let myself go into them without completely losing my shit (there are moments where it gets a little dicey, but I'm much better at being uncomfortable than I used to be). Don't worry--if it feels like you're dying, it's because you are!
How do we get into the school of Shamanic Underworld Initiation?
...why? Are you thinking, "that sounds great! I want to go to that kind of school."
If so:
You're crazy. You do not want to volunteer for this kind of learning if you can do it in a different way.
You don't choose the school of Shamanic Underworld Initiation. It chooses you, whether you like it or not.
You might be thinking, "But, Michelle! You sound kind of excited about this. What gives?"
Well, friend, I wouldn't say I'm "excited." Again, it's super uncomfortable and I definitely would prefer to not be having this experience. But it is fair to say that I'm leaning into it with a certain degree of good humor and "fuck it, let's do this." I can guarantee you that I fought tooth and nail to avoid going into this underworld initiation, and hahahahaaaa of course that didn't work. But now that I'm here, I am going to make the best of it and seize the opportunity for some major lessons in Mastery! (I keep flashing back to May: this is exactly the feeling I had when I didn't make it on the ferry back from Orcas Island and had a 7-hour wait at the ferry dock. I genuinely felt as cool as a cucumber and in good humor, even though I 10000% would rather have been on the ferry. I made the best of it and did fine once I was in the experience.)
What are some tools for a successful Underworld Initiation?
I'm so glad you asked! Based on my experience, here are some of the most important things you can do, regardless of your particular lessons:
Do not avoid your process. Do not avoid your pain. Whatever it is, be present with your feelings and allow yourself to completely receive their gifts and messages. Even the most painful circumstances hold powerful medicine, and you'll miss it if you're distracted.
That being said, it's okay to step back from your process every now and then! Go watch a movie. Hang out with friends. (It's a balance. Don't overdo the checking out, but don't be a masochist hero.)
Reflection is an amazing tool: journaling, meditation, counseling, talking with friends.
...but make sure to receive inputs of new information and energy so you're not just spinning around in your own shit! Read articles, get perspectives from different people, tune in to my podcast (link below), get some outside wisdom.
Move energy on all levels: physical, mental, emotional, Spiritual. Make sure you have practices to support this (movement practice, breathwork, mantra, crying, journaling, energy healing). I AM Alchemy is a great resource for all of these.
Ask for help. Whether it's from loved ones, community, or a professional, it is vitally important to receive support and remember that you are loved.
Remember that if it feels like you're dying, it's because you are: the old version of your Self and your life is dying. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it's okay to grieve this. But keep in mind that you're growing into something new and you get to claim it whenever you're ready.
You know what? After writing all of this, I actually am kind of excited. I can look back on previous rounds of "school" and see how they were instrumental in my personal and energetic education. As a result of these Shamanic Underworld Initiations, I received concentrated growth and learning within short periods of time. I have these initiatory experiences to thank for aligning me with the process of Alchemy (applications for I AM Alchemy are now open), cultivating a comfortable relationship with Death and Sacred Destruction, and coming into strong allyship with associated spirit guides and deities. Some of my strongest medicine comes from these experiences.
I know that these periods of my life when I was most uncomfortable were also incredibly valuable training grounds for my gifts, my resilience and my ability to work with big energy. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
(Have you experienced Underworld Initiation and wish you had more tools for next time? Are you experiencing one right now? I recommend applying for I AM Alchemy to give you tools and support to move through these lessons!
Many blessings,
