Soul Calling

Is I AM Alchemy “too much?”

Has anyone ever told you that you're "too much?"

If so, this is for you.

Is I AM Alchemy “too much?”


Over the years of teaching I AM Alchemy, a few fellow entrepreneurs have offered me their unsolicited feedback on this course when they hear how involved it is. They say, "You're delivering too much in I AM Alchemy. Why are you offering so much in your course? What if you offered less? What if you scale back your availability? Are people interested in that much content?"

My first response is, "I am delivering exactly what Spirit has guided me to offer." (My second response is much more blunt and I’ve only said it to someone’s face once. Read on for that.)

Here's what people who think it’s “too much” don't understand about I AM Alchemy:

I AM Alchemy is a course in practical spirituality and experiential education, not a self-study workbook course. Each one of the 36+ modules throughout the year includes an in-depth teaching transmission with practical applications and integration exercises. Most of the modules also include accompanying movement practice videos for somatic integration.

I AM Alchemy is a mystery school lineage, not a coaching program. In the coaching world, the philosophy seems to be "scale everything you can.” This is not a group mastermind. This is not hot seat coaching. I AM Alchemy is a mystery school, which means that our focus is on training, experiential learning and practical application of specific techniques and philosophy. Our group calls are focused on deep exploration and integration of the material into each student’s personal practice. We also prioritize community: students are invited to collaborate with each other, and to connect with past I AM Alchemy apprentices for additional peer support, mentorship and community through the lineage.

I AM Alchemy is a journey of self mastery, which is a deeply personal and vulnerable process, and I’m here for all of it. I don’t contract a coach to support my apprentices. I don’t have a virtual assistant answer my students’ emails. I am personally available to all of my students for support and guidance throughout the year.

As far as, "Are people interested in that much content?" ...you're the only one who can answer that.

Are YOU interested in being initiated into a powerful mystery school that will teach you practical applications of universal law to help you create your life in accordance with the divine blueprint of your soul?

Do YOU feel the call to gather with like-hearted seekers for the purpose of initiation, deep magic and powerful transformation?

Do YOU want to receive powerful and consistent support from a magical teacher (me), who you know has your back and wants to make time for you?

...or is that "too much" for you?

You're the only one who can answer that question. And truly, there is no "right" or "wrong" answer.

But as far as I'm concerned...

Fuck “too much.”

Fuck the idea of providing less value, less material and less experience.

Fuck the idea of making myself unavailable to the people I want to support.

Fuck "taking away 80% of the course and scaling back to the non-negotiable 20%.” The whole thing is non-negotiable, since that’s how Spirit directed me to teach it.

This course was never about me. This course was never about trying to create something that would "succeed in the market." Most of the time, I honestly don't even feel as though "I" am the one teaching. Instead, the wisdom of this lineage pours through me, and the best thing I can do for it and for my students is to let it happen and be in humble presence with the mysteries.

Is that "too much?"

For some people, yes. This course is absolutely not for everyone.

...but if you're reading this and your heart is pounding with a feeling of recognition, maybe it's for you.

If you also are ready to say, "Fuck 'too much,'" maybe this course is for you.

If you feel a soul calling to Alchemy, maybe this course is for you.

If you know that you are meant to show up for something bigger than yourself and let your own divine directive flow through you like rain pouring through a sacred vessel, then maybe this course is for you.

You are the only person who can know that for sure. But if I AM Alchemy is calling you, know that Early Bird ends December 22.

I promise you that this course is not "too much" if it aligns with your sacred path. I AM Alchemy is part of my path, and if it's part of yours, it'll be just right.

Are you ready for personal training in practical spirituality and experiential education?

Do you feel a calling to the mysteries?

Are you craving the peace and trust that come from deep-seated Self Mastery?

I AM Alchemy begins March 2024.

As one course graduate shared:

"I joined I AM Alchemy because I had been on a spiritual and magical journey for several years, but I desired something deeper to truly integrate all that I was learning. I knew I was in a transition stage but didn't quite know who or what I was transitioning into. I knew I needed something with structure that was not just about completing modules or participating in calls, but something that I was able to immerse myself in while still living my day to day life.

Through I AM Alchemy, I have learned so much about how creation, transformation, and magic works on both a practical and spiritual level. This course helped me to incorporate all of the different teachings and modalities that I've learned before into a strong foundation that I can continue to use over and over again. My life is so much more magical and expansive. I feel like I've upleveled into a new version of power, creation, mastery, and connection. I have also deepened my trust in spirit and magic that has made the hard parts of life so much easier and the best parts of life more joyful.

I recommend I AM Alchemy to anyone who feels called, especially those who have taken many courses and programs but still feel like they're not fully integrating. For me, this was like the graduate study in practical magic that helped pull everything together and allowed me to lead my own transformation."

I AM Alchemy is a year-long course in practical transformation for your spiritual journey. Check out all the course details here.

Early Bird ends December 22. Are you ready to apply for the course and claim your Early Bird discount?

$200 off Student Path!
$400 off Apprentice Path!

(If you're not sure which option is right for you, I will help you decide during our consultation.)

Here's how to lock in your spot for I AM Alchemy Early Bird:

  1. Submit your application for I AM Alchemy.

  2. Book a consultation with me.

  3. Pay your deposit to hold your spot.

I AM Alchemy:
Study the Mystery
Practice Transformation
Actualize your Radiance

Part of me was afraid to go to Avalon, and now I know why (plus pictures!)

I returned 90 days ago from a priestess pilgrimage to Avalon. Since then, in addition to massive growth and activation, my life has been completely upended in a few key areas. For these past three months, I’ve been sitting with rage, grief, betrayal, catharsis, purification, power and resilience.

…which is exactly what I was afraid of.

My first morning in Avalon--I awoke before sunrise with a sense of urgency to go up the Tor (the hill). I practically ran to the top and did qi gong as the sun rose orange and burned off the surrounding mist.

My first morning in Avalon--I awoke before sunrise with a sense of urgency to go up the Tor (the hill). I practically ran to the top and did qi gong as the sun rose orange and burned off the surrounding mist.

In case you’re not familiar with Avalon, it’s an ancient and sacred site in England, most well known in mythology relating to King Arthur and the Lady of the Lake. The Isle of Avalon corresponds to the contemporary town of Glastonbury, where there are many cherished sacred sites. I had been feeling the Soul Calling to travel to Avalon for well over a year. The circumstances of my trip were about as divinely aligned as one could imagine, and for months preceding my trip, I felt the energy building with power and possibility.

And yet, along with that sense of power and potential came fear. As I journaled in preparation for the pilgrimage, I found myself expressing trepidation and anxiety. The fear I felt wasn’t attached to any particular concern—I knew from my meditations and my guidance that this pilgrimage was part of a series of powerful initiations, and that I would receive incredible activations as part of my journey. But along with the knowledge of the activations that awaited me, a very human survival-level fear lurked in the background.

It’s a lot easier for me to look back now and understand what I felt at the time. As I was preparing to head into this powerful initiation portal, the part of me that felt afraid was the part of me that has been dying since that trip—the part of me that was burned to ash in my rage, dissolved in a pool of grief and slashed by the sharp blade of betrayal. That part has ultimately surrendered to catharsis.

Friend, have you ever experienced a Soul Calling that simultaneously thrilled and terrified you? Have you felt the raw power and potential that awaits you, but known that it comes at the cost of the life you used to lead? Have you known that, as you were choosing your own liberation, you were also choosing your own death?

I spent more time on the Tor than pretty much anywhere else in Avalon. Here I am after another sunrise practice. I also watched a couple of sunsets, went up a handful of times during the day, and twice after sunset to look at the stars.

I spent more time on the Tor than pretty much anywhere else in Avalon. Here I am after another sunrise practice. I also watched a couple of sunsets, went up a handful of times during the day, and twice after sunset to look at the stars.

I also spent a lot of time in the Chalice Well Gardens. This is the Chalice Well itself, which is connected to the Red Spring (one of the sacred springs of Avalon). I did several mornings of qi gong practice by the Lion's Head fountain in the garden…

I also spent a lot of time in the Chalice Well Gardens. This is the Chalice Well itself, which is connected to the Red Spring (one of the sacred springs of Avalon). I did several mornings of qi gong practice by the Lion's Head fountain in the gardens.

This is exactly the nature of the fear that I felt leading up to my trip. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my pilgrimage to Avalon was rooted in pure soul calling and resonance, but that by taking the trip, I would have to finally let go of one of the most significant aspects of my life. I knew that the initiations I received on this journey would offer me more power and freedom than I could consciously understand, but that I would also be choosing the death of my old self.

Friend, it has been a bumpy ride. This particular death cycle has primarily taken the form of an incredibly challenging breakup. The exact details aren’t important for this story, but suffice it to say that I have been witnessing with dumbfounded amazement the perfect shitstorm that is continuing to unfold even as we speak. Every time I think the situation has bottomed out, the bottom drops again.

It. Fucking. Sucks.

…but in addition to the massive suck-age and heartache, I am also present to the cosmic perfection of it all. My former partner and I were together for two years, despite knowing that we weren’t each other’s people. We figured out very early on in our relationship that we wanted different things and had different visions for our lives, but decided to journey together anyway out of our mutual love and appreciation, and the growth that was available to us even as not-forever-partners. We each became the go-to person for the other. We built a life together that was rich, beautiful and fun. We were in love, and it was good.
But it wasn’t right, and we both knew it. In fact, we both knew it for more than a year before we finally separated in September.

Looking back now, I can easily see that the fear I felt before going to Avalon came from the part of me that knew it would not survive the journey. The version of me in the not-right partnership, the life I had built with someone I loved and was unwilling to leave: that was the part that felt afraid and resistant. That part of me knew that the initiations I would receive on the pilgrimage would shift me out of alignment with staying in that relationship. I knew that going to Avalon and walking through that portal would mean the end of that chapter of my life.

And just three short weeks after arriving back from Avalon, it all came crashing down in a non-negotiable, can’t-possibly-ignore, what-the-fuck-is-happening, shitstorm that I have been processing and integrating since the beginning of September.

Even though the aftermath of my Avalon trip looks for all intents and purposes like total destruction, entering that initiation portal was one of the most powerful choices I have ever made, and I have no regrets. Even though it has meant the death of my relationship (along with many other connected parts of my identity and life structure) and the continued processing of uncomfortable feelings and shitty circumstances, I am glad I chose that path. Remember the rage, grief, betrayal and catharsis I mentioned earlier? Even though these energies have challenged me to my core, they have been vitally important to the process, because they gave me the perfect fodder to alchemize into true power and resilience. I am blowing my own mind every day with who I am becoming and what I am capable of.

My group had private access to Stonehenge on the last day of the pilgrimage.

My group had private access to Stonehenge on the last day of the pilgrimage.

Just as I’m experiencing the 3D “whiplash” in response to massive energetic expansion, this Soul Calling has also paved the way for massive growth in other areas. My energetic mastery, psychic perception and attunement to the subtle levels is off the charts. Aside from the relationship blowup, my return from Avalon has included many creative and fruitful projects. I have also begun to refine my work with Dragons and work with higher-vibration practices. My physical body feels more healthy and vital, my community connections are flourishing and I have been invited to share my work in new and exciting places.

I have shared very little about my Avalon trip (it’s obviously still landing and integrating), but it felt important to share with you about the ripple effects of an activation experience. (Side note: did you catch the episode of Shaman Sister Sessions that went out two weeks ago? It was about Soul Activations, and it is directly related to our topic for today. Check it out here.) In particular, I wanted to share this with you because I know I’m not alone when it comes to feeling fear around a soul calling.

Friend, I bet you can relate. Maybe you’ve had an experience like mine, where you feel the power and potential leading up to an initiation experience, knowing that part of you will die in the process, but you choose it anyway. Or maybe you have felt the power and potential emanating from a soul calling, but you haven’t answered it because the cost seems too great. Maybe you’re afraid to let that part of yourself die, so you have yet to step through the initiation portal that awaits you.

I am here to tell you that you will be okay. I promise. It might not seem like it, and believe me, I’ve heard all the objections. Their Soul Calling will lead them to this lineage and body of knowledge, but when it comes time to commit to their journey, their hidden fears come up. When we dig deeper and finally get to the root of it, they say things like, “I’m afraid my marriage won’t survive,” or, “I’m afraid I’ll lose my friends and family because they won’t understand me,” or, “I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep putting up with what I have been tolerating,” or, “I’m afraid because I don’t know who I’ll be if I say yes to that level of growth.” Essentially, all of these people fear the same thing: the death of their old Self.

What about you? What Soul Calling is inviting you to step through a powerful initiation portal, and at what cost? What liberation, power and potential awaits you as you surrender your past self to death?

Are you willing to let yourself die in order to grow and be reborn? Are you willing to shift out of alignment with everything that doesn’t serve you anymore, so you can create more of what does?

It may not be comfortable, but I promise, it’s worth it.

And if your Soul Calling is asking you to step into the initiation portal of Embody Wild, I invite you to answer the call. What growth, expansion and rebirth waits for you on the other side?

If you're ready to see what Embody Wild holds for you, begin the process by submitting your application here.

Your Soul Calling is waiting for you. What do you need to do to answer it?

Many blessings,

michelle hawk signature.png

Inspiration

While at Stonehenge, I had several visions, past life memories and revisited soul agreements. This was one of the places where I passed through a major initiation portal.

While at Stonehenge, I had several visions, past life memories and revisited soul agreements. This was one of the places where I passed through a major initiation portal.

Can you see the double rainbow? I took this picture on my last evening in Avalon after a torrential rainstorm. I climbed Wearyall hill to get a look at the Tor and was treated to this powerful sight.

Can you see the double rainbow? I took this picture on my last evening in Avalon after a torrential rainstorm. I climbed Wearyall hill to get a look at the Tor and was treated to this powerful sight.