Animal Song

ANIMAL SONG: What does it mean to be an Animal Song Carrier?

A person who has been gifted the role of Animal Song Carrier fully embodies the medicine of that Totem. The Animal who chooses to offer its song to you declares in doing so that it gives you permission to access its magic, and that it trusts you to hold its energy and bring it forth into the world. The Animal Guide who invites you to carry its song empowers you with its medicine so that you can, together, co-create alchemy on the Earth plane. The Animal totem, after all, has a purpose and wisdom all its own, and by sharing its song with you, invites you to enact its vision into reality.

Working with Animal Totems is a significant component of my medicine and my discovery of Animal Song began (subconsciously) when I was very young. I have felt a deep connection with animals for as long as I can remember—in fact, my very first memory of this lifetime features the dog that my parents had when I was born (my parents are nowhere in this memory). As a child, when walking in the woods, wild deer would gently step out from between the trees to look at me before moving away into the dappled shadow. I remember visiting a flock of swans and watching them aggressively chase away other children who approached, and yet they allowed me to walk among them and sit peacefully in their midst.

The idea of connecting with animals in the energetic realm always made sense to me. My favorite stories growing up involved talking animals, and I read every book of Native American folk tales I could get my hands on because animals were featured as powerful, intelligent beings with a purpose and wisdom completely separate from human motivations.

I experienced my first Shamanic journey to discover my Spirit Animal when I was 14 years old. The Totem that revealed itself to me made its presence known in my life in a beautiful, supportive way, and I still receive the benefit of her guidance, even 15 years later.

As I deepened my relationship with Animal Guides, I discovered that I had many. I devoted myself to meditating with my guides, learning their medicine and honoring their wisdom. I found that some guides work specifically with certain situations and energies, some are present for short periods and others are lifelong totems.

Eagle is one such governing Totem in my life. In 2012, while offering blessings to a pair of bald eagles, they told me: “Eagle Song is more than the cries of the bird—it is the BEING of an eagle. It is the movement of air over feathers and the flexing of powerful feet and talons. It is observing without being observed. It is intensely knowing your body and valuing every part: there is no waste, only maximum efficiency for flight. But there is a part beyond our physical selves: that which lives between the layers and flies to the sun and back. This, too, is Eagle Song. Our wisdom comes from intimately knowing these parts and uniting them in our Highest Selves. We—and you, too, Child of Earth and Light—are far more than our physical bodies.”

In 2015, I participated in a traditional Native American dance ceremony, during which the Eagles told me that I am an Eagle Song Carrier. It was then that I truly delved into the essence of Animal Song and learned the enormous magic that comes from receiving such a gift. Being a Song Carrier for an Animal Totem is both an honor and a responsibility. By answering the call of the Spirit Animal who entrusts you with its Song, you effectively create a soul contract with that archetype to actualize its energy on the physical plane. You offer yourself as the vessel through which the medicine of this Animal Guide may flow as it works its own brand of magic for the well-being of Earth.

I carry other Animal Songs as well, but Eagle was the first to initiate me into this medicine. As such, I honor this totem through my work, and help others align with the Song of Animal Totems through private sessions, journey work and events featuring a particular Animal Guide.

It is my honor to facilitate another such event this Sunday afternoon (January 29), during which we will connect with Wolf Song. Wolf medicine is very strong in its cycle of power at this time and wishes to share its magic with the Earth plane for the benefit of all. Please join me this weekend to tune in to this powerful wisdom and let us together honor Wolf Song. Event information here.

Image by EntheoNation

Love and the Beauty of Pain

Love is NOT easy. Somebody WILL get hurt.

And that’s a beautiful thing.

I’m not talking about creating suffering for the sake of suffering, or inflicting our Shadows on others because we don’t know how else to bleed off a bit of the inner tension. I’m referring to the healthy kind of pain that squeezes your heart enough to point out your wounds and blind spots, but that ultimately lives in a safe container where it is welcome to be held and examined properly as a gift and learning tool, rather than an enemy.

I got dumped this afternoon, which was mostly a surprise for me. My wonderful (now ex) boyfriend and I have been experiencing some challenges lately, but I was fully prepared to gently and compassionately work through them together. I was under the impression that he was on board to do the same. In this case, no one is the bad guy. No one is the victim. Instead, we are two people who care deeply about each other, love spending time together and had some challenges come up, as they always do in relationship. I was ready to say yes to working through them. He was not.

Being told, “I don’t want to hurt you,” by a partner as part of a breakup speech feels simultaneously very sweet and completely clueless. I say that without judgement or pointing fingers, but as someone who has experienced my fair share of pain in relationship and knows the difference between healthy, constructive, growth-inducing pain and heart-splitting, destructive, damaging trauma. This relationship had already poked one of my deepest wounds and caused me some significant discomfort, but I was still willing to say yes to it because I knew that, by working through that pain with a compassionate partner, I was showing up in the world as the kind of person I want to be, and ultimately moving toward healing. I knew I was signing up for more painful teaching moments by continuing to say yes to being with this person, and I was still happy to do so because I know the richness that comes from such experiences. (Not to mention the sheer joy and beautiful connection that comprised the majority of our relationship.)

Pain is a great teacher—one of the most powerful and blatantly misunderstood allies for someone who seeks to truly know themselves. When we are children, we learn from pain. We learn that we can run, and when we fall and skin our knees, we learn to run more gracefully. As we grow, we learn all sorts of amazing skills that allow us to move us through life, and because of pain, we learn to do them well, respecting the potential for danger. We know that living in the world involves exposing ourselves to harm, but if we do not wish to let the potential pain dictate our actions, we learn how to move through our lives with awareness and grace and do those things anyway.

Relationship and the pain that comes with it is one of the most marvelous teachers and catalysts for unfolding the infinite beauty of one’s consciousness. Pain teaches us where our edges are so we can look at them, hold them with tenderness and gently lean into the wounding. When used with care and awareness, pain teaches us compassion, honesty, surrender, and how to love ourselves and our partners more deeply. Creating opportunities where pain can be welcomed as an honored teacher, rather than pushed away in fear, is what allows a relationship to build a solid foundation based in trust and the lived experience of working together through a challenge. Couples who hold each other’s pain lovingly and allow it to transmute into growth and learning cultivate a relationship dynamic that is much more likely to weather the storm of an unexpected life trauma (accident, sickness, family catastrophe) because they will have the tools ready to meet that pain with awareness, compassion and grace.

I cannot blame this man for wanting to avoid causing me harm, and for wanting to avoid being hurt, himself. None of us want to inflict suffering upon those whom we hold dear, and yet, love and pain are two sides of the same coin. Only through fully understanding and embracing both of these energies can we ever hope to know the true depth and beauty of our hearts.

As I shepherd myself through this process of closing a chapter with someone—a beautiful, compassionate man with whom I was just beginning to fall in love— I will gently examine my wounds and edges. I will say yes to this squeeze in my chest. I will invite pain in as a beloved ally to teach me the depth of my own heart and my capacity to love.

I will tenderly hold my own pain and know that it’s a beautiful thing.

SHAMAN

SHAMAN: What's in a "title"?

Last week I enjoyed the opportunity to introduce myself to someone using "anything but the woo-woo words" to describe myself and what I do. I was meeting a family member of someone close to me for the first time, and was forewarned that this family member would be most receptive to meeting me and warming to my character if I did not use "Spiritual language" to describe myself. In short, the phrase, "I'm a Shaman!" was off the table.

Challenge accepted!

When asked, "what do you do?" by this family member, I described the functional, tangible aspects of my work. "I support humans and animals in their journey to natural health and wellness. I work with animal health and behavior, and on the human side, I help people connect with their joy, love and purpose. I mentor people through challenging periods of their lives and help them work their way to the other side feeling more empowered, confident and connected." This person nodded approvingly and the conversation moved on.

Fast forward to today, in continuing with the theme, when someone online asked me, "What do you do as a Shaman?"

Again, I thoroughly enjoyed considering the functional implications of the term. What does a Shaman "do?"

Here is what I wrote back:

"I'm kind of laughing at my internal response to your question, which was "What DON'T I do as a Shaman?" I know that's not how you meant the question, but I try each day to live the idea of "my every breath and action is a practice in devotion to All That Is." So, essentially, I do everything as a Shaman, from washing the dishes and dancing to my healing work and more!

In other senses of the question, I practice the philosophy of "A Shaman devotes herself to the health and well-being of her Tribe." In my case, my Tribe is my global community. I work with humans and animals all over the world (though much of my client base is local) to help them discover and express their greatest joy, their fiercest love and their deepest purpose. I teach empowerment, mentor personal investigation and shepherd people through the underworld as they experience their own dark nights of the soul.

Functionally, I also work with supporting natural health and wellness (for humans and animals), teach Reiki and other healing practices (to humans), translate between species (animal communication) and channel Spirit (usually for humans).

Does that answer your question?"

Being a Shaman means different things to different people. The term gets thrown around a lot, and it's often loaded with some kind of judgment and/or misunderstanding. It took me YEARS before I was able to "put on the mantle" of claiming my medicine and publicly call myself a Shaman.

Now that I've journeyed through the process of fearing the label, unfolding the layers of the label, coming into my own understanding of the label, claiming the label and living the label, I'm finding that the label matters less and less. Shaman isn't what I DO, it's who I AM and how I live each moment of my life.

When my every breath is a prayer for the Highest and Greatest Good of All That Is, when I practice presence and peace in the face of every challenge, when I accompany people into the depths of their darkest fears so that they may feel safe, when I surrender to Spirit and allow the Divine to flow through me in order to let someone feel loved and seen and held--THAT is what I do, with or without the label. Shaman or not.

To be fair, the word "Shaman" fits more easily on a business card. It can be a very loaded "title," but it is also only that--a title. How is someone living their life as a Shaman? How do they practice their devotion? What is their offering? How do they live their service? These are questions I love to ponder for myself and others in the world, whether or not they call themselves Shamans.

I offer my gratitude to all those who continue to inquire and create opportunities for me to ponder my work, my choices and my path! I gladly receive these moments of reflection and growing understanding.

Many blessings and much love from your friendly neighborhood Shaman!

Michelle Hawk

Winter Solstice Blessings

December 21, 2016

I allow my gaze to float serenely over the bare birch limbs visible immediately outside of my office corner window. The sunlight streaming from behind the pine trees turns the water droplets hanging from twigs into gleaming starbursts that decorate the seemingly lifeless boughs.

What juxtaposition to witness this afternoon of the Winter Solstice in its gleaming golden glory. The misty haze that rises from the trees captures the sunlight and turns my thoughts towards tree auras as I imagine my hungry cells, like those of the languid pines, greedily slurping up every photon in photosynthetic gluttony. (I had my DNA tested earlier this year and I’m about 36% solar panel.)

How interesting, I think to myself, that this, the Darkest Day of the Year, can be so full of glowing, radiant light. The sweetness that comes from an unexpected sunny day creeps inside my chest like a beautiful poem, and I feel Gaia whispering to me as a lover would, telling me to relish this gift. I gaze at my sunlit hand in awe, noticing my fierce pleasure at the warmth and illumination. I employ my Hawk vision to help me observe in intricate detail the texture of my skin, the precise shade of each freckle and the exact pattern of the tiny, almost invisible hairs that cover the back of my hand.

Tonight I will drop into the fullness of the darkness and surrender back into the womb space of our Earthly cycles. I embrace the dark. I welcome her touch. I feel at ease in her inky softness. We have worked and played well together over the years, and I appreciate her for her wisdom.

Yet, for now, I hold in my heart the simple joy of knowing balance and grace. Even on the Darkest Day of the Year, there still shines a painfully beautiful light. Even in our own darkest moments, there still exists that same excruciating luminosity. This idea is the very speck of radiance that saved me three years ago, when I thought that I would be swallowed whole by the insurmountable Shadow. Darkness and I hadn’t yet cultivated our comfortable friendship at that time, and I feared that she would make me disappear.

I needn’t have worried (though that was part of the journey). Darkness has proven herself to be a wonderful teacher and powerful ally. She and I have achieved a level of ease and intimacy that I enjoy with only a few trusted beings. I have danced and held ceremony to honor her every year since we began our partnership, and will do so again this evening.

Last year for the Winter Solstice, I wrote a love letter to my Medicine Family in celebration of community, Tribe and witnessing us hold each other through our journeys. This year, I write this love letter to both Darkness and Light to honor their wisdom and their presence in all of our lives.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Happy Solstice.

Danger Junkie of the Soul

My current practice: Sharing my process and feelings while I still feel vulnerable.

I avoid conflict. I take complete responsibility for processing my own emotions. I value my alone time enormously. I don’t like to ask for help. I need to know how I feel before I can share it with anyone else.

The total sum of these qualities means that, when any kind of trigger or bubble of fear/anxiety/strong emotion arises, I retreat. I go within myself to fully process the feeling and return to a place where I feel safe and grounded before I even bring my inner turmoil to anyone’s attention, which can be anywhere from 2 minutes to days after the fact.

I don’t think that I am unique in my behavior. Humans make foolish decisions when we’re afraid, and we don’t like to make ourselves more vulnerable while we already feel compromised. For most people, however, I imagine that this takes the form of stuffing down their feelings and never looking at them until they explode. For me, it means that I go quiet until I have thought through it all and can express myself clearly.

I exhibit this behavior pretty much exclusively in relationship. I didn’t realize that this was the case until the last guy I dated expressed some frustration that I wasn’t sharing my feelings in the moment. When I reflected on this with a medicine sister, she replied with astonishment that I am one of the best she knows at doing this in the context of healing work. Immediacy, perfect clarity and ease of expression come to me effortlessly when working with clients and anyone else in my life, but as soon as I have to practice this with a partner, fear wins.

I decided that I would like to cultivate that skill of immediacy and vulnerability in my relationship dynamics. It feels important to practice this valuable tool, even though it scares the crap out of me.

And so, I lovingly devote myself to sharing my crippling fears, my debilitating anxieties, my bursts of terror and my spirals of shame while I am feeling them at the time. I am currently exploring a new relationship with a wonderful man who has very compassionately witnessed my moments of fierce emotion, listened to my feelings and held me in a state of ease and grace as I fumble my way back to equanimity.

I am definitely improving at this skill. The presence and peace with which I am met in these tumultuous moments have allowed me to bring these dark, twisting anxieties to the light to discover that perhaps they are less unlovable than I imagined. I certainly process these feelings much more quickly than I used to, but I suppose that makes sense. Trying to hold your own safe container while simultaneously addressing whatever emotional imp needs soothing in the moment takes some significant energetic juggling.

I love doing the things that scare me. I experienced one moment in particular last week that literally rendered me speechless out of sheer emotion: terror, shame, grief, trauma and despair all coursing through my chest in equal measure. And even though it felt like the most gut-wrenching thing in the world, I collected my breath and forced myself to speak it aloud. I noticed with some detached fascination as I did so that words could hold so much power and potential for healing. Witnessing myself in my terror and pushing through what feels like some form of death, then discovering that I still draw breath on the other side of the experience, is an intoxicating super power. Maybe this is what danger junkies feel when they risk life and limb. Maybe I’m a danger junkie of the heart and soul.

Examining those beliefs that we all have—the ones that shriek “No one would love me if they knew!” fascinates me beyond measure.

What terrors and anxieties hold you fast in their grip? What fears do you clutch so tightly to your chest that they rot away at your heart?

Are you ready to speak them aloud so you can begin to loosen their hold on you?

From one Danger Junkie of the Soul to another, I’ve got you. Let’s do this.

"What's Your Animal Guide?"

“What’s your animal guide?”

People often ask me this question after I introduce myself as a Shaman who works very strongly with Animal Medicine. In the context of a quick conversation, my short answer usually sounds something like, “Oh, I have many animal guides, and so do you,” but this brief response does nothing to illustrate the infinite layers of complexity and magic that come with delving deep into working with Animal Totems.

“My animal guide is an otter, because I’m very lighthearted and I like to play.”

I love that Animal Medicine has worked its way into popular consciousness! Many people share with great certainty the identity of their animal guide and an attribute of this guide with which they resonate strongly. However, as soon as I ask follow-up questions such as, “How else do you work with otter? What other aspects of its medicine do you find particularly impactful?” Most people answer that they haven’t really done anything further with their totem.

To me, this is akin to meeting your new best friend and powerful ally, learning their name, shaking their hand and then never speaking to them again. Imagine if you were at a party and the host tells you that a friend of theirs wants to meet you. The host leads you over to this person and you immediately perceive a strong energetic connection. You find yourself drawn to this person and feel excited to know them, and perhaps a bit honored to receive an introduction. The host goes on to offer further explanation of why this person was interested to meet you, and you find out that they are a wealth of talents, knowledge and power. This new person smiles glowingly at you and you shake their hand, feeling a surge of energy at this new, profound connection! Then, someone else calls your attention away and you make mental note to return to speak with this amazing new friend again, but you never do. You leave the party without exchanging information or making plans. You never reach out to the host to ask to put you in touch. From this point on, you recall with fondness the memory of that one time at that great party that the host introduced you to this amazing, glowing person with whom you felt such a strong connection, even though you never spoke again.

What if this potential best friend is still out there for you, waiting for you to rekindle the connection? What if this powerful ally has been waiting for you to reach out and ask to know them better? What if this amazing, magical being has been watching you, witnessing your life, ready to offer their teachings as soon as you are ready to receive that wisdom?

Throughout my many years of working with Animal Totems, I have witnessed time and again the magic and profound lessons that come from diving deep into animal medicine. To date, some of my most powerful initiatory experiences made themselves known through Animal messengers appearing for a dramatic introduction.

And yet, the introduction is exactly that: the first step in claiming your relationship with a powerful ally. The work that follows holds the real magic of depth, subtlety and power. By stepping into relationship with your Animal Totems, you cement a bond with their medicine that can last a lifetime and support you in your continued unfolding of joy, love and purpose.

Do you already know the identity of your Animal Guide and want to delve further into your personal connection with its medicine? Even if you don’t know its identity, do you feel your guide out there, waiting to meet you?

Magic & Medicine is an in-depth, four week long journey of discovery with your Animal Totem. This experience includes:

• The Meeting: Welcome the new Totem into your energy field.
• The Messages: Learn why this Guide is appearing to you and how it wants to reveal its teachings.
• The Merge: Bring your Animal Totem to life within your own body and make its energy actionable on the Earth plane.
• The Manifesto: Delve into the purpose of your work with this Totem and solidify your mission together.
• And more! Learn the details of Magic & Medicine here.

Contact me for a free consultation and begin your Magic & Medicine journey with your powerful animal ally today.

Hineni

I have had a beautiful remix of Leonard Cohen’s “You Want It Darker” playing on repeat for the last several days.

First listen—the song weaves its way into my body and stirs my muscles and bones into supple twists and rhythms. Experience the raw, visceral pulsation of beat and voice and subtlety.

Play the song again, feel the texture of the words gliding roughly over my awaiting and receptive mind, notice the syllables slowly sinking into conscious awareness.

Begin paying attention to the lyrics, revel in the tonal fluctuations and depth of character.

Ponder the meaning… who sings this haunted prayer? “A million candles burning for the love that never came…” Is this Lucifer lamenting the fall? Is this some Christ consciousness agonizing upon witnessing the nature of humanity? Is this we collectively as humans who so fear the light and true nature of love and power that we would rather choose infinite darkness?

Consider the political context and timely obsession with this simple, provocative song.

Look up the unfamiliar word, “Hineni.”

Discover the profound meaning of service, of readiness, of devotion, of absolute trust and faith and surrender.

Meditate on my own offering of Hineni and the implications for one such as myself to claim my path.

Sing this song with my own smooth voice and feel the tortured tones twist my tongue into tragedy.

Recognize myself in my own darkness.

Embody Hineni prayer with every breath.

Know that even if this service takes me into the darkness, I still choose this path.

Play the song again.

Hineni, hineni. I’m ready, my lord.

Wake Up To Your Power

Corrupt systems can only survive in a distracted, disempowered society. Are you ready to claim your power? Let's WAKE UP together.

My First Universal Life Revelation

The moment that I later described as my “First Universal Life Revelation” occurred on Saturday, November 4th, 2006 as I stood in a record-setting torrential downpour.

I was a sophomore in University at the time, earning my degree in biology. Entrenched in academia, I was struggling to come to terms with what I learned in my study of science and how it related to my study of Reiki, as I had just completed my Reiki II training the month before. There seemed to be a substantial gap between the scientific community’s understanding of life and the world in which I was beginning to immerse myself: the world which taught me that there is no such thing as a barrier of space and time and that I am connected to All That Is. Looking back on that time of my life, I feel so much compassion for my 19 year old self. Sharing with other students the profound experiences that came from practicing Reiki served to isolate me from my academically-minded peers. The incredulity with which they met my suggestion that energy healing had a role to play in modern medicine dissuaded me from expounding upon my ideas.

On that Saturday in November, it seemed as though every circumstance had somehow come into perfect alignment to make me as miserable as possible. For one, I was sick. The previous Wednesday evening I had started to feel achy and tired, and I had woken up the following day with a burning fever. I missed all my classes Thursday and Friday as I lay in bed, drifting in and out of hallucinatory consciousness. My illness coincided with one of the heaviest periods of rainfall that Tacoma has ever seen. The drumming downpour on the roof set a dramatic soundtrack to my convalescence.

I awoke on Saturday feeling as though my fever had broken, though I was weak and somewhat shaky. When I finally ventured out of the dorm that afternoon, I enjoyed the bizarre sight of a few outdoorsy people kayaking in the flooded streets as sheets of water continued to swell the new, impromptu lakes. The whole situation felt almost unreal, like my hallucinations had followed me into the waking world.

For some reason, I decided that my first outing would be to go with my roommate to attend the last football game of the year. I’m still not entirely sure of my motivation for going. I have little patience for watching football even when I’m healthy and enjoying beautiful weather, so I’ll chalk it up to the pull of the Universe wanting to send me a message.

We stood there in the pouring rain as gusts of wind whipped cold strands of hair across my eyes to sting my exposed cheeks. At least my body was largely protected from the wind by the crowd of students, though the jostling on all sides felt just as invasive. The cold crept up my legs from where I had splashed myself leaping over a deep puddle and I bounced in place to attempt to bring some circulation to my freezing feet. I tried to watch the game, but the sky was so dark and the field was so muddy that it shortly became impossible to distinguish the color of the jerseys below. I had no idea how anyone on the field could even see the ball, let alone catch it.

I remember thinking how completely ridiculous the whole situation felt. I generally practice the philosophy of “things could always be worse,” but in that moment, things felt pretty close to awful. I was standing in the pouring rain after being sick for three days, watching a game I don’t care about, completely unable to tell what was happening on the field while being bumped and jarred by yelling people. And instead of succumbing to the monumental misery of the moment and hating everything about my circumstances, something clicked in my brain and I decided to have fun. That’s all: I decided that I was going to enjoy myself.

And so I did. I had so much fun watching the rest of the game in that record-setting downpour, surrounded by a crowd of screaming people while I sweated out the last of my fever. I felt like I was high, like nothing could touch me, and from then on the chilly rain seemed comical as it ran down the back of my neck. I have no idea who won the game (I could barely see anyway) but I had just discovered that I had the amazing power to decide how I felt, regardless of the circumstances around me.

This amazing high lasted for weeks and helped me to earn a perfect score on an exam for my Vertebrate Zoology class, deliver an amazing presentation to my Archaeology and Religion professor (he later cited my work to others in the class as an exemplary project) and navigate with more success than ever the challenge of integrating my growing understanding of energy into my academic studies. I found it much easier to speak with my peers about my experience working with Reiki, and found that they seemed much more open to hearing me. From that simple decision I made, that I was going to have fun in spite of the miserable circumstances, came a cascade of wonderful alignments and further validation.

I cite my “First Universal Life Revelation” as the beginning of a dramatic shift in my consciousness because, when presented with the opportunity to choose between misery and joy, I chose joy. It would have been so easy to succumb to all the factors pointing me in the direction of “everything about this is terrible,” but instead, I decided to enjoy myself. In that moment, I consciously became more powerful than my circumstances. I created my own experience, chose my perception of the situation and felt my joy reflected back to me on all sides.

We are all more powerful than our circumstances. We all hold the enormous capacity to create our own experiences, or at very least, to decide how we feel about them. I like to celebrate my own personal anniversaries of these revelations because they remind me of moments in which I experienced a profound shift in my awareness that has since altered the course of my existence. Reminding myself of times when I receive that teaching, that “lightbulb moment,” helps me feel empowered to embody those lessons consistently every day. There have been circumstances during the intervening years in which it felt as though my world was falling apart. And yet, I was able to move through it all relatively gracefully by reminding myself that, even in the moments when I feel least empowered, I still have the option to choose between misery and joy.

I’m finding my 10-year anniversary of this revelation particularly relevant right now. Between Standing Rock and the election (not to mention any of the other political and environmental atrocities taking place at the moment), I have had many opportunities lately to practice choosing joy, compassion and purpose over misery and despair.

Today, on the 10-year anniversary of my First Universal Life Revelation, I renew my commitment to choosing joy. I remember that I am empowered to create my own understanding. I take responsibility for making sure that my thoughts, words, actions and choices all work directly in service to creating an empowered, joyful experience for myself and others.

And if you feel called to join me, I invite you to do the same.

I AM Here to Build an Empire of Love

I AM HERE TO BUILD AN EMPIRE OF LOVE.

I AM here to lay my passion, brick by brick, in the fertile soil. I AM here to trace mandalas with my feet in the shimmering sands and cultivate the foundation of Joy, upon which my Queendom will flourish.

I AM here to feel my heart race with the pleasure of becoming…

I AM here to sing the harmony of pack song as my wolf eyes gaze with fierce love upon my Empire. I AM here to feel the snakes flex and coil up my spine, arching my back in ecstasy.

I AM here to make love to Gaia by plunging my hands into her rich loam, embracing her towering trees and lapping up the sparkling nectar of her flowing streams. I AM here to receive dappled sunlight and playful breezes on my hungry skin.

I AM here to call my Tribe to me with the resonant beat of my heart drum. I AM here to coax the flickering tongues of whispering flame into a blaze that roars with Truth. I AM here to summon change with my howling incantations under the dark birth of a New Moon Rising. I AM here to shepherd willing souls through the Underworld.

I AM here to serve my thriving Queendom with steady purpose. I AM here to light the path for those who wish to see by the glow of my unfolding. I AM here to witness, in exquisite anticipation, my own journey of discovery.

I AM here, in time, to offer my human body in Death. I AM here to compost myself into fertile soil, upon which my children will lay the foundation of an Empire of Love.

Reflections on Shepherding the Dead

I have worked with a lot of clients through the death and dying process over the years, but in the last week working with death has been the focus of more of my sessions than usual. Here are some thoughts as I reflect on transition and the role I play (and the role any Shaman plays) in supporting my clients before and after death.

Many blessings,

Michelle Hawk

Grounding for Everyone in Life, Reiki, Shamanic Work and Energy Healing

One of the things I emphasize most to my Reiki and Shamanic Apprentice Program students is the practice of grounding. Feeling grounded is essential for anyone's health, safety and well-being, but this is especially true of anyone practicing Reiki, Shamanism or other energy healing modalities. When speaking about grounding with my Reiki students and clients, I use the analogy of a pyramid. The bigger the base of the pyramid, the taller you can build it--meaning, the more grounded you are and the more solid your energetic foundation, the more you can safely extend your psychic energy into high-vibration realms of consciousness.

The same is true for everyone. We live in a world that encourages people to live anywhere except in their bodies, in the present. We are bombarded with distractions that pull us into our brains, into thinking about the future, into our electronic devices and out of ourselves. The more present and grounded we can be in our roots and our bodies, the greater our capacity for making healthy decisions, being present in our relationships, feeling comfortable and confident and bringing more energy to our lives.

Here is a video I made for you. This is a variation on a meditation that I offer during Reiki class. It offers practice in grounding and connecting to Earth energy, then expanding your awareness upward. This meditation feels a little different every time as you become more practiced, so feel free to try it more than once and notice what changes for you.

Happy grounding!

Many blessings,

Michelle Hawk

Honoring Ten Years of Reiki and My First Teacher

This week marks the 10 year anniversary of when I began officially studying Reiki, though my lessons in energy healing began years earlier. My first teacher was my dog, Ginger. She was a beautiful yellow lab—a great family dog and my wonderful companion. We spent long hours playing together outside and rolling in the grass. Nothing comes close to the contagious goofiness of a puppy.

When Ginger was six years old, she was diagnosed with diabetes. This event marked a significant shift in the nature of our relationship: Ginger and I were no longer the springy young puppy and giggling child. She was an adult dog experiencing a health challenge and I was her big sister who wanted to take care of her. I was desperate to help her feel better. Twelve years old at the time, I was mature and capable enough to learn how to help monitor her diet and energy levels, test her blood sugar and give her insulin injections. While my attention to Ginger’s needs increased on the medical front, her illness also deepened our energetic relationship and loving connection. I would sit with her while she lay in her bed and put my hands on her, not petting her, but holding my hands in place on her body. I remember visualizing colored light flowing from my body, down my arms, through my hands and into her. No one had ever told me to do that or taught me about energy healing—it just seemed like a good idea. Ginger herself seemed to request that I place my hands on her when she looked at me dolefully. After 10 or 15 minutes, she would twitch her skin under my hands and I would understand that she had had enough.

Over the next few years, my connection with Ginger deepened as we both matured and I continued to offer her colored light through my hands. Then, when I was 15, my mom made friends with some women who had recently opened a massage and Reiki clinic in the area. I was interested to speak with these “energy workers” based on her description. My mom brought me and Ginger into the clinic to meet them and have a look around. When they began speaking with me about energy healing work, I felt completely mesmerized. They told me about Reiki and it was as though something deep within me awoke with the validation that this was a practice that existed in the world, not just in my relationship with my dog. I told them what I had been doing with Ginger and they said to me, “That’s Reiki. You should go take a class and be trained in that.”

I didn’t begin studying Reiki immediately—the timing didn’t feel quite right to start formally learning an established discipline. Instead I began intuitively exploring my Shamanic practice around that time, and it wasn’t until 2006 (at 19 years of age) when I began studying under a human teacher. A local Reiki Master attuned me to Reiki I on August 13, 2006 and I took Reiki II with her two months later. My mom began studying Reiki with another Master soon after that, then after completing her studies, she later attuned me as a Reiki Master in December of 2008. Learning from human teachers, combined with the fact that my investigation of Reiki overlapped with my time studying biology in university, gave my previously intuitive exploration a scientific, academic flavor. I’ll save that story for another time.

Suffice it to say that my practice has grown and changed significantly in the intervening years, but some things remain the same as they were when my dear Ginger first pulled healing energy from me almost 20 years ago. She was my first, most patient teacher who spoke to me through subtle cues that demanded my complete presence and attention if I was to receive them. From her I learned how to open to my intuition and allow it to inform my actions. I learned how to be present as a vessel for healing to take place, and later I learned that I was capable of animal communication. (As I processed my devastating grief over her passing I became consciously aware of the intimate psychic connection we had enjoyed throughout her life.) Laying my hands on Ginger and allowing healing energy to flow through me set the stage for me to meet my wonderful human teachers and receive the conscious training and direction I needed to deepen my awareness. The strength of the intuitive practice that Ginger instilled in me allowed me to easily step into the teachings of Reiki and integrate the energy seamlessly with my own on the conscious level.

As I reflect on my 10 years of working with Reiki, I know that no other practice has done more for me, personally and professionally, to promote my health, well-being and happiness. Yes, my practice now includes other modalities, especially a deep connection working with Shamanism, but it all began with me as a young girl loving my dog, wanting to help her feel better and doing the best thing I could imagine: offering her light and love. Ginger opened the door for me to connect deeply with her, and in doing so, I discovered Reiki, which in turn led me to grow in my purpose, my empowerment, my health and how I work in service to the world. And for all of that, I can only ever be eternally humble and enormously grateful to Ginger, my first teacher.

Renewing the Practice of Self-Care

Sweaty, sporting a new gaping blister and beginning to feel the stiff prickle of lactic acid in my legs, I arrived home from my intense morning workout to read a text from my man friend that said he had just been offered a ticket to Burning Man. Immediately, I felt a rigidity to rival that of my weary thighs spread across my chest, up through my neck and into my face, forcing my lips into a frown and my brow into a forbidding crease.

Noticing the turmoil of mixed emotions that tore through me upon reading this simple message, I registered with some surprise that, while I was excited for my man friend and happy that this opportunity had fallen into his lap, the hungry feeling that made my chest crawl uncomfortably was none other than envy. Forcing myself to focus on the happiness I felt on his behalf, I texted back a congratulatory message and went about my morning, preparing to see a client. I brushed aside the rising emotional bubble, told myself that I had too much to think about and needed to focus on my work, and what was I envious for, anyway? I hadn’t planned on going to Burning Man this year and I have other projects that take priority.

My man friend and I spoke on the phone a few hours later while I made my way through slow-moving traffic. As I drove past the exit to my old neighborhood and saw the trail where I used to run along the water stretching out into the distance, sharp pangs of longing and loss punctuated the envy that bubbled up like a sour taste from where it slouched, heavy, in my gut. I swallowed it as long as I could and tried to stay fully present with him in his excitement, but when it felt as though I would choke or have to scream and cry, I finally admitted my feelings.

As this confession poured out of the part of me that feels like an ugly, demanding child—the part that I’m reluctant to reveal to anyone, let alone to a new relationship—I heard myself say that I wanted to receive a gift like that, something that would allow me to go on vacation and have someone take care of me and not have to the person who does the caretaking. I heard myself acknowledge that living a life of service is something I love, and that offering healing and holding a container for the well-being of my community is inherent to my role as a Shaman. And yet, in that moment, I wanted nothing more than for someone to acknowledge all of my hard work and struggles and reward my enormous efforts with a trip to Burning Man.

I indulged in a moment of piteous self-assessment as I sat on the highway surrounded by semi-trucks. My eyes burned from staying up too late writing the night before, my legs were stiffening into hard masses and my fresh blister stung with the drop of sweat that rolled down my ankle. I had just completed an energetically draining session with a very challenging client and had several more hours of work to accomplish when I arrived back at my temporary home. I felt my shoulders roll forward in response to the tightness that flashed across my chest and throat and sent sharp tears to prick the corners of my eyes.

Reflecting on this conversation hours later, I know that I will always live a life of service and will continue to offer myself and my work for the well-being of my community. The fact that I had such a strong reaction to my man friend receiving a wonderful gift tells me that I have been severely neglecting my own daily self-care lately. I felt these realizations creep across my brain like gentle friends coming to soothe my grumpy, demanding inner child. I have been pouring so much energy into my work and single-minded focus on my business that I have not nurtured the part of me that loves to have adventures, meet new people and play. Rather than wishing that someone would come rescue me with a vacation to the desert so I can take a break and receive from others, I must offer myself the care I deserve so I can live sustainably from a place of balance and empowered fulfillment of my own needs. I felt my breath slow and deepen, my shoulders softening as I articulated the thought, “I must fill my own energetic cup with nourishing care and joyful experiences in order for me to truly offer myself in service to others.”

Ultimately, I am the source of my own joy. I am my own best resource for happiness. When I find myself wishing that someone would swoop in and offer me those things, I ask myself these questions: What steps do I take to ensure that my energetic cup is full? How can I actively nurture the health of my body, mind, emotions and Spirit? If I feel as though I need validation for my work, how can I acknowledge my own efforts and recognize my amazing achievements?

I commit to renewing my healthy habits of simple, daily self-care to nourish myself on every level: physical, mental, emotional and Spiritual. I commit to honoring the needs of my inner child to ensure her continued health and happiness. I commit to filling my own cup so that I may offer myself to the world from a place of overflowing joy and fulfillment.

Many blessings,

Michelle

Michelle Hawk offers 4 easy ways to practice your daily self-care on every level: physical, mental, emotional and Spiritual. Cultivate your own health and well-being and feel more centered. You are the source of your own joy.

Reclaiming the Dark Goddess

Originally published on Eagle Song March 14, 2016.

On Friday night I offered Priestess facilitation at a Goddess event in Portland. I created a space for people to compose prayers to the Goddess, spoke with attendees about their relationship with the Divine Feminine and helped them craft their intentions. The show featured DJs, live musicians and channeled ceremony. All the performers, live painters and facilitators were female.

In preparing for the event, I imagined that many people would interpret the Goddess in typical fashion: flowing, white fabrics, sparkles, flowers, and other symbols of the gentle feminine. My relationship with the Goddess (especially lately) has been much more influenced by the Dark Goddess, so I was determined to represent her in her powers of destruction and transformation. I wore a beautiful and slightly intimidating boar tusk necklace given to me by one of my deep medicine sisters, strung feathers through my wild hair and donned subtly shimmering black and purple clothes. (I’m not much of a “photo person,” so it wasn’t until after the event was over that it occurred to me that I should have taken a picture. Oh well.)

I was pleasantly surprised to have my expectations proven completely inaccurate! Most of the attendees looked dark and fierce in their interpretation of the Goddess, and as I spoke with people throughout the night about their relationship with the Divine Feminine, I found that many more than I expected were tuning into her aspect as Destroyer. Plenty of people are actively calling upon Kali to help bring about some serious change in their lives. I also welcomed the opportunity to discuss the Aztec Goddess Tlazolteotl and her Divine service through her role as the Filth Eater. Deep in conversation with someone about the Goddess as Transformer and hearing him passionately proclaim the need for societal revolution, I expressed my preconceived notion and how happy I was to see people reclaiming the Dark Goddess. He agreed completely. White, flowing fabric has its place, but now is a time for teeth and claws.

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My favorite part of the show was the midnight ceremony facilitated by a woman called Lux Moderna. I met her backstage before she went on, and she told me that her entire dance performance is channeled in the moment as Spirit moves through her. During her time onstage, I felt like I was high. I could absolutely feel the energy she brought forth through the ceremony and the entire room was buzzing in response.

I had the opportunity yesterday morning to go to brunch with her, as she is staying with a friend of mine during her visit. Amidst our collective nerding out over the New Sacred movement and Goddess Spirituality, she brought up the Oracle at Delphi.

Brief history lesson: the Pythia (aka Delphic Oracle) was the name of the priestess of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. This temple was originally built to honor Gaia, then was taken over by the Apollonians. The Pythia, who was always a woman, was held to certain standards of purity and dressed as a virgin to symbolize her readiness to form a union with Apollo. She was forced to inhale “sacred vapors” (fumes emitting from a volcanic vent beneath the temple), then priests would interpret whatever she said as a prophesy in exchange for money from whoever wanted to ask her a question. In other words, the house of the Goddess was taken over by the masculine and Priestesses were fetishized and forced into spiritual slavery. (For a very “Hollywood” interpretation of this, see the movie 300).

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I’m not going to delve at all into whether the visions that she had came from a connection with Spirit or were drug-induced raving (but who’s to say that some of those ravings were not inspired by Spirit?). My point for the purposes of this article has to do with a potent example of the power of the Divine Feminine being seized, manipulated and sexualized by the out-of-balance masculine. For thousands of years, we (as collective humanity) have learned that “feminine” qualities include grace, beauty, virginity, gentleness, purity and nurturing. The Goddess was put in a pretty, little, white box.

So you can imagine my fierce pleasure the other night when I witnessed hundreds of women and men coming together to honor the Divine Feminine, and the predominant vibe was that of the Dark Goddess unleashed at last. Yes, the Goddess is all of those qualities listed above. But the Goddess is also destructive. The Goddess is ruthless. The Goddess is the embodiment of transformation: she receives the seed and transforms it into a tree, alchemizes solid rock into molten lava and composts decaying flesh into healthy soil.

The Goddess belongs to no one, yet lives in all of us. We are most able to honor and receive her when we embrace all aspects of her medicine–light and dark, creative and destructive, birth and death. Regardless of where we are on the gender spectrum, the Divine Feminine shows herself through us. How does the Goddess manifest in your life?

I am currently accepting clients for my three month long intensive transformation healing program, New Moon Rising. In our work together, you will receive energetic healing, coaching and practices to help you through your Spiritual Awakening or Deepening. Together, we will delve into your relationship with the Divine Feminine and Masculine and examine how you can balance them in your life in a healthy, constructive way. We all have an inner Masculine and an inner Feminine. It is time to honor all parts of ourselves so that we may be whole and healed, and honor all parts of the Goddess so that we may fully receive her medicine.

Contact me for a consultation to work one-on-one and commit to yourself and your journey.

Many blessings,

Michelle

Politics, Spiritual Awakening and Dark Teachers

Originally published on Eagle Song March 7, 2016.

This is not a post about politics. This is a post about looking at the current political climate through the lens of a Spiritual seeker/mentor.

Throughout my whole life, politics have never interested me. I don’t really understand them, I have never followed election season (except at the last minute to do just enough research to make an informed voting decision), and I definitely don’t involve myself in discussions about policy.

This election season, however, I find myself absolutely fascinated. Not by the ravings of a racist, misogynist businessman-turned-politician, but by the clear duality between two very different ideologies that is presenting itself for examination, and the opportunity that comes with it.

I should say at this point that I am pro-Bernie all the way. #feelthebern #berniesanders

When I first found out that Drumpf was running in the primaries, I was amused. “Yeah, right. That won’t last long. There’s no way that people would vote for someone like that,” I thought.

I have since been watching the primaries with a growing degree of incredulity. I wondered how on earth it was possible that a person who embodies so much hatred, manipulation, deceit and a total lack of ethics could be gaining so much support.

When I consider the voting pool and how many people out there have yet to delve into their Shadow work, it makes sense to me that they would vote for a person like Drumpf. Imagine all the unexamined wounds, the ancestral traumas, the pain and hatred and blame and self-destructive tendencies that live inside us until we are ready to look at and release them. Most people aren’t willing to do so, and so these Shadows continue to reside and grow within us. All of a sudden, this person comes along who is using his public platform to say all the things your Shadow has ever wanted to express. Of course you would resonate with that message, because your Shadow is running the show! Through his hate speech, this candidate is offering validation to the inner Shadow of all these deeply wounded people.

Let’s take things further and look at the situation from the cosmic perspective. Why is it that this person is appearing now to bring so much hatred and violence to the surface of our collective consciousness?

I believe that Drumpf is here as a Dark Teacher to catalyze within the general population a massive movement toward Spiritual Awakening.

Let me give you a brief personal example. I encountered another such catalyst in my own life a few years ago. At that point, I was already well on my path of Spiritual work and investigation. I had been a practicing Reiki Master for about five years and was in the process of developing my work with Channeling and stepping more deeply into consciously working with Shamanic energies. Nonetheless, when I met a charming, beautiful narcissistic sociopath, I ignored all my intuitive warning bells and fell into relationship with him very quickly. I was with him for only a couple of months, but that was plenty of time for me to step away from my guidance and become deeply drawn into an abusive, manipulative relationship full of coercion and me wondering why I didn’t feel connected to Spirit around this person. Thankfully, I figured it out in time to leave with no lasting damage and with rock-solid commitment to always staying in alignment with my Highest Self and my guidance. I refer to that experience as one of my Underworld Initiations and to that person as my Dark Teacher.

After ending that relationship, it came to light that this person had followed a similar pattern of abuse and manipulation with several people in the community. Long story short, examining the collective Shadow was the catalyst that led to healing for many, and my Dark Teacher was later arrested for domestic assault. My healing process included a lot of asking how a person like that can exist in the world, and what the cosmic purpose is behind it all.

I would consider Drumpf to be another Dark Teacher who is offering society an amazing opportunity to confront our individual and collective Shadows. Knowing that everyone has a purpose, and that ultimately everything works for the Highest and Greatest Good, I have to believe that people like Drumpf and my ex are here to offer themselves in service by embodying the Darkness so deeply that they catalyze transformation and awakening in the masses. In my own case, even though I was already “awakened,” I can credit that situation with cementing in me the certainty that I will always work in service to the Highest and Greatest Good, always stay attuned to Spirit, and always work for healing for myself and others. That was the medicine I needed to receive to bring my Shadow into the Light for healing.

So I have to ask how many people out there, especially those who might be considered more “moderate,” or those who haven’t yet found a reason to examine their beliefs more closely, are being catalyzed by Drumpf’s hate speech into Awakening? How many people like me are there, who may not generally prioritize politics as worthy of my attention, who are called into action in the face of such darkness to use every opportunity available to invite people to connect with each other in love and compassion? How many people see (whether consciously or subconsciously) the choice with which we are presented, and are seizing the opportunity to step into alignment with community, Truth, accountability and togetherness? How many people are experiencing their Spiritual Awakening as a result of this Dark Teacher’s work and the political climate?

There’s a video I like of an interview with Bernie Sanders, where he says, “My Spirituality is that we are all in this together and that when children go hungry, when veterans sleep out on the street, it impacts me.” In my mind, this quote epitomizes the duality with which we are presented: the choice between separation and connection, between violence and peace, between manipulation and accountability, between hatred and compassion. Watch the video here.

Let us choose connection, peace, accountability, compassion, community, Truth and Love. Let us choose to Awaken, offer gratitude to our Dark Teachers and forgiveness to our wounds, and stand in alignment with our Highest Selves. Let us receive the medicine we need in order to commit to working for the Highest and Greatest Good of ourselves and of all.

I am currently accepting clients for my three month long intensive transformation healing program, New Moon Rising. In our work together, you will receive energetic healing, coaching and practices to help you through your Spiritual Awakening or Deepening. Together, we will examine old wounds, ancestral traumas and offer gratitude to your Dark Teachers for their medicine in helping you confront your Shadow. We all have one, and it’s time to bring yours into the Light to be healed.

Contact me for a consultation to work one-on-one and commit to yourself and your journey.

Many blessings,

Michelle

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Embodiment

Originally published on Eagle Song March 6, 2016.

There’s a term I came up with that I like to use with my clients and students to impress a certain idea upon them. The term is “Divine Embodied Being.”

I find this term very appropriate for a few reasons, but largely because it reminds us of the multi-faceted nature of our existence. The term “Human Being” is of biological origin and serves only to describe our physical and genetic makeup. How are we different from other beings? Well, we’re Human Beings!

However, we are so much more than our limbs and our brains and our genes. We are the embodiment of the Divine. Our physical forms provide the anchor for our souls to live on the Earth plane.

And so, we are Divine Embodied Beings. We are the physical manifestation of Spirit. We are Source and matter.

(For the purposes of this article, I only talk about human Divine Embodied Beings, but plants, animals, crystals, minerals, etc are also Divine Embodied Beings.)

It is so easy for us humans to use duality to separate and exclude: “If A, then not B.” Or, “If I am human, then I am not Divine,” or even, “If I am Divine, then I have no reason to pay attention to my human body.”

This last example is one that I see all too often, especially among people who have begun to realize their Spiritual awakening but have yet to balance it with the earthly aspects of their existence. Many clients come to me who are so focused on the energetic part of their process that they haven’t bothered to bring their physical bodies up to speed yet.

So let’s talk about the purpose and importance of Embodiment practice from a Spiritual perspective.

In order to honor all parts of our nature and live in the world as whole beings, it is of equal importance to devote care and attention to the parts of ourselves that are Divine AND the parts of ourselves that are Matter. Moreover, we must not treat them as separate facets of our existence, but as deeply interwoven and mutually necessary components of our wholeness. It is our bodies that offer a place for Spirit to live inside of us, and it is our Souls that animate our physical forms beyond the level of a biochemical machine.

One of the ways we can support both parts of ourselves simultaneously is through Embodied Meditation. Absolutely any activity can be a form of Embodied Meditation, if you hold the intention for it. When students or clients tell me that they’re “bad at meditating,” I ask them what activities they enjoy, and what brings them peace. Often the answers include things like walking outside, gardening, yoga or going for a run. I tell them that these are all wonderful forms of Embodied Meditation, and when they do these activities, to practice bringing intention and mindfulness to the exercise.

My favorite form of embodied meditation is dancing. And I’m not talking about the kind of dancing where you sort of stand there awkwardly and shift your weight from side to side. I’m not even talking about structured dances with certain steps and standards of correct form. I’m talking about allowing your body to move in whatever way it feels called, whether or not it’s pretty. The kind of dance where you feel energy coursing through your veins, filling your cells and making your chakras spin and glow. The kind of dance where, as you start shaking, you feel all the blockages and stagnant energy inside yourself start to melt and release into the floor. Dancing until you are drenched in sweat and your hair is full of tears from crying as you allow powerful energy to rush through you, releasing old wounds. Dancing and channeling our ancestors who danced for thousands of years before us to honor their bodies, honor Spirit and feel alive. Dancing until you drop in so deeply that you enter a trance state and forget completely who and where you are, and all that exists is movement.

Needless to say, I start more slowly with my clients and we work up to trance dancing when/if they’re ready. I teach some basic practices and help my clients find what works best for them. Some forms of Embodied Meditation can be relatively peaceful, like gentle yoga. Some are more playful, like my friend’s game of “Zen rock-hopping” (jumping from stone to stone through a river or stream. As he says, if you think about it too much, you get wet). Others are fairly extreme, like my roommate running 100-mile races. She told me about one instance, about 70 miles in, were she started seeing ghosts coming out of the ground. But what is the point of activities like that? No matter what form it takes, why do we need embodied meditation?

Physical practices like these unite the part of us that is Embodied with the part of us that is Divine. When we bring our Spirit and our intention to an embodied practice, we can move energy through our physical system. It is the perfect union of tangible and intangible, working across the hemispheres of our brains and across whatever barriers we have put between our energetic awareness and our bodies.

Throughout my whole life, I have had some form of physical practice. Whether it was being part of a sports team or doing activities by myself, I always knew that I felt happier and healthier when I took care of my body. When I officially began my Reiki practice in 2006, it took a few years for me to make the connection between the energetic work I was doing and the physical process of moving energy through my body. There were times when I would do all I could with Reiki to release stagnant energies, but until I went for a run and flushed them from my system, they were stuck. In the last several years I have come to a deep understanding of how physically shaking and sweating old energies out of me is just as important to the healing process as the energy work itself. We are Divine Embodied Beings, and in order to be whole, we must honor all parts of ourselves.

I used to only teach Embodiment practices to my private clients as part of our work together, but I recently included an Embodied Meditation workshop in my Shamanic Reiki Apprentice Program.

Contact me to book a consultation to work one-on-one with me, or if you’re interested in taking classes. In the meantime, I encourage you to look at your physical practice with a new perspective, through the lens of yourself as a Divine Embodied Being. See you on the dance floor.

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Rage and Constructive Destruction

Originally published on Eagle Song February 12, 2016.

Every now and then I fantasize about a certain superpower. These fantasies start whenever I hit a certain level of righteous fury, usually after I’ve read several articles and had conversations about politics, violence, misogyny, oppression, manipulation, wealth inequality, rape culture, environmental and human rights atrocities, etc. At that point, my heart starts burning and my muscles knot and I fantasize about screaming my rage so powerfully that people can’t bear it and they cover their ears, cringing away from the sound of complete destruction. Glass starts exploding all around me and as I keep screaming, fissures open in the ground beneath my feet, buildings start to tremble and I literally crumble the establishment with the power of my voice.

However, since the most success I’ve had with that in my life so far has been setting off the glass-break alarm as a screaming infant, I will have to strive for a less literal interpretation of that particular fantasy. I still plan to crumble the establishment with the power of my voice (with all of our voices), but maybe that will take place through my words, rather than through sheer decibels of burning fury.

I talk a lot about something I call “the fundamental wounding of humanity.” Anyone who has hung around with me long enough has heard me discuss at length how any manifestation of violence, inequality, or just treating each other poorly, can be traced back to this fundamental wound: separation. The belief that we are alone. The belief that we are disconnected from anyone and everything around us–this is the root of abuse, neglect, apathy, hatred and cruelty. Humans have a history of defining themselves (ourselves) based on what they are not. A human looks at a wolf. “I am not like that. That is an entirely different being from me.” And through separation, the potential for fear is born. A member of one tribe encounters a member of a different tribe. “I am not like that. That human looks different from me. He behaves differently from me. We have nothing in common.” And through distancing ourselves, the potential for fear is born. Fear grows into hatred for everything that we are not. Through separation, we give ourselves permission and justification to abuse animals, because they are not like us and do not experience emotion. We give ourselves permission to hate people from other cultures and ideologies, because they are not like us and they can’t be trusted. We give ourselves permission to clear cut forests and burn thousands of acres to the ground because we are separate from the earth, and plants feel no pain.

When I read these articles and have discussions about the state of the world, I see how there are so many people invested in keeping things the way they are. Right now, we exist in a system designed to make people slaves and perpetuate the belief that we are separate, and therefore powerless. If we lived in a world where empathy and connection was the norm, many of the atrocities that we see every day would not exist. They simply do not fit with the idea that we live in an interconnected Universe. This would not exist.

And neither would this.

And neither would this.

And I don’t have an article for this one, but I was speaking with a friend the other day who told me that her partner worked for years with a medical research company developing technology that was less invasive and more successful than our current model of surgery. Guess what? The technology was abandoned after it was found to be less profitable than the current treatment protocols. In a world where we prioritized compassion and empathy, such an occurrence would not exist.

And neither would many other things. But I’m not here to list everything that’s wrong with the world.

What I am here to do is to channel my rage into a constructive avenue. I call upon the super power of my voice to bring complete destruction to the corrupt establishment.

And how does that happen?

Through healing the fundamental wound of humanity. Through remembering that we are all–humans, animals, plants, elements, energies, Earth–more deeply connected than we could ever imagine.

I call upon the super power of my voice to teach empathy and compassion. I call upon the super power of my voice to reach people with Truth and love. I call upon the super power of my voice to penetrate to the darkest corners of our collective being so that we may call for the complete destruction of all that which does not serve the Highest and Greatest Good of All That Is. I call upon the super power of my voice to channel my compassionate rage for the purpose of constructive destruction. I call upon the super power of my voice to inspire people to discover the miracle of connection within themselves, so that they can connect with others and the world around them. I call upon the super power of my voice to heal myself, so that I may heal the world.

*Glass shatters.*

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Photo: Screaming Rage by Silvie Tepes

Truth Belongs to No One

Originally published on Eagle Song January 9, 2016.

Yesterday I did some deep healing work on myself and moved massive amounts of energy. The session was brief, but very intense. During that time, a past life of mine was revealed to me for the purpose of integrating those energies into my current embodiment.

I saw myself immediately as a young teenage boy (maybe 13 or 14 years old) on a vision quest. I was sitting in a snowy forest at nighttime, singing to myself. I saw that I was practicing trust, but at the same time knew that I was so cold, and felt alone and afraid. But I sat in trust anyway, and I sang.

I’ve been out here for days and I can’t go home. There’s a feeling like I have to prove something, but I don’t know what it is that I have to prove. There’s an element of not being good enough. No one expects me to bring anything home or succeed. Fox appears to me. Fox of the inquisitive mind, of keen observation, of knowledge.

I channeled these messages from my guides, who were speaking to me as the boy on the vision quest (and inviting me to integrate these messages into myself as Michelle):

“‘Too clever for your own good,’ Fox Child. You ask these questions that challenge the system, and so people think you do not believe. They think you will not succeed. People view your questions as a challenge to what they hold dear, and so you are cast aside. But it is not out of malice that you ask these questions. It is out of love and it is out of exploration. When we say it is out love, it is not out of love for the system, but it is out of love for knowledge and love for Truth. And so, Fox Child, we invite you to continue to ask your questions and to trust that the system in which you are succeeding is not necessarily the system into which you are striving to fit. The reason that you feel alone and the reason that you feel cast out from this Tribe is because you are of a new process, a new energy that does not fit the old beliefs. And when you question them out of your love for Truth and out of your love for exploration and inquisition, it is viewed as harmful, and it is viewed as malicious and disobedient. The reason no one expects you to succeed is because you are asking all the “wrong” questions. And so you, yourself, brought on this vision quest. You yourself thought it would be helpful. And yet, there is an expectation when you return to your tribe that either you will have heard nothing because they believe that you do not listen. When they tell you things they believe that you do not listen, and so they believe that you will not hear if Great Spirit speaks to you. They think that maybe you will have learned your lesson and that you will obey and that you will listen.

“But just because you are not accepting what they tell you as absolute Truth doesn’t mean that you are not listening! You must always continue to ask your questions, Fox Child. Because when you ask, you show your love for Truth. And you understand that Truth is an ever-changing entity that does not exist in a static Universe. Truth belongs to no one. This might feel very isolating to you because other people work in service to established ideas. Your tribe exists in service to itself and in service to its established identity. And when you ask your questions, they feel threatened and they feel unstable and they feel as though you are challenging their established identity. They do not see that your inquiries come out of love for Truth itself, rather than an idea which was established by others, long ago. Maybe there is some sadness there for their own lack of discovery of personal Truth.

“And so, at times it may seem a lonely path. At times you may sit out here, in the cold, by yourself, feeling that no one will expect you to succeed and no one supports you. Oh, but Fox Child! We see you, and we love you, and we see that you ask these questions in service to Truth and in service to Love. And we support you. We know that this is not an easy path that you have chosen. There are times when you will not feel us here, watching you. That is because there are times in which you need to know what it feels like to be alone. And yet, we encourage you to keep asking these questions because your work does not go unnoticed and your work does not go unacknowledged in the cosmic context. Oh, Fox Child! We will see that no harm comes to you through this dark night. We will see that you are surrounded and protected, though you will not know that we are there. You will not know, and you will feel alone for now. And you will experience this dark night of the soul as though you were completely on your own in this forest of snow. And you will witness only the Fox, your fellow Truth-Seeker. He will be your only companion for this dark night. But no harm will come to you, and you will sit by your fire. And you will sing your questions.”

These messages ring very true for me through my exploration of my work and of living in service to Spirit through the pursuit of Truth. I’ll be sitting with this information and integrating these energies, and perhaps later I can expound further upon the implications.

Many thanks, also, to Fox. I look forward to getting to know you.

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Image from http://fishergrilcolorado.blogspot.com/2011/12/visiting-redtail-fox.html

A Love Letter to My Medicine Family

Originally published on Eagle Song December 22, 2015.

Dear Tribe,

Happy Solstice! I am so grateful to take this time to reflect on the past year and its lessons, and on the people with whom I exchanged beautiful energy.

Thank you so much for the times we danced together, laughed, cooked amazing food, dressed up in costumes, drank tea and talked about the Universe and sat in hot springs until we felt like we were dissolving into infinity.

Thank you for sitting in the forest with me and listening to the rain, nerding out with me over communication and human consciousness, serenading me with beautiful songs and feeding me chocolate.

Thank you for witnessing me in my grief, offering me reflections on my process, being amazing mirrors for my own growth and awareness, teaching me about Power and Love and living your own journeys so fiercely that it inspires me to do the same. Thank you for showing up to talk about the hard stuff with me.

I am so happy to hold space for your process, to reflect with you on your journey, to hold you as you cry, to read your words, to crack jokes all night so you can laugh for a moment and forget your broken heart. I am happy to hold ceremony for you and offer you healing.

I love journeying with you into your own darkness, helping you discover your demons and shine a light on your deepest fears. I will always be there to share my insight, offer my intuition or be a sounding board. Tell me your stories, share your epiphanies and bare your hearts. I love watching your soul sparkle as you speak your Truth.

This past year has been particularly magical because of my amazing Medicine Sisters who have shown up in all the most beautiful ways. Never before have I had such a strong reflection of the Divine Feminine from so many powerful women.

I am also so grateful for my Medicine Brothers and their embodiment of the Divine Masculine.

This is also a dedication letter of sorts. As I continue on my path and step more completely into alignment with my role as a Shaman, there is a necessary acknowledgement of purpose and commitment. As a friend told me, a Shaman doesn’t choose to become a Shaman. They do so because it’s the only way they know how to heal themselves. And once they pass through the Shadow realm and come out the other side, a Shaman’s life belongs to their tribe.

The work that I am doing now is the work that I will be doing (in some form or another) for the rest of my life. So many thanks to my amazing Tribe–you make it so easy to commit to you! And that’s exactly what I’m doing: I commit to supporting you, my Tribe, in your health and well-being, especially in regards to your Spiritual journey.

I hold so much gratitude for my Medicine Family. Thank you for seeing me. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Many blessings,

Michelle