Eagle Creek and the Waters of Renewal

Eagle Creek was one of my favorite hikes before the Gorge fire in 2017.

I know other people loved it, too. Of all the beautiful hikes in the Columbia River Gorge, Eagle Creek was one of the most popular, with good reason. Not only was it a comfortable hike through gorgeous forest, but it took you along the creek to a spectacular waterfall and swimming hole. I traversed that trail many times and have enjoyed several epic picnics at the waterfall.

When the Gorge burned for months in 2017, I was devastated. Everyone was devastated.

In an interesting twist of timing, I had hiked that very trail not long before the fire, and had collected some water for ceremony from the creek. I had no idea that would be the last time I visited that sacred place for years to come (the trail is still closed), and that this rejuvenating spring of life and flow would soon be engulfed in flames and choked with ash.

When the fire began, I used some of my collection right away as part of a water blessing ceremony. But after that, the jar of Eagle Creek water stayed closed for over a year. It felt as though the water itself was in shock, and needed to rest and be still.

Sometime last year, the Eagle Creek water started calling to me. It was ready to work again, slowly and gently. I started using it on my altar, and noticed the energy it brought to the container held a profound mastery of Death and Rebirth. The Eagle Creek water held the burning fires of transformation.

At the end of last year, as I was going through my own major Death process, the Eagle Creek water made its presence known even more powerfully, and brought to my healing work a deep sense of surrender, trust and allowing. The Eagle Creek water held the wisdom of letting go, of releasing the unnecessary, of purification.

This morning as I redid my altar and was replacing the water, Eagle Creek water shouted at me with its strength and power. I felt it bursting with life, renewal and creative potential. Eagle Creek is alive and thriving. The burn scars are still there, but aliveness is exploding forth from the purified Earth. This morning, the Eagle Creek water showed me that it held the sacred rage and grief of all those who loved this place. It held the death and sacred destruction of the fires. It held the burning, the release, the purification. But the Eagle Creek water also holds life, renewal, vitality, and resurrection. It holds the aliveness of growing things, of new form, of building new structures. Eagle Creek water offered to support me in cultivating these energies, in my life and in the world.

This was the last of the water that I collected 2 1/2 years ago at one of my favorite places on Earth. As I meditated this morning with my revitalized altar, the powerful energies of Eagle Creek and its rebirth were undeniable.

I am so grateful to this sacred place and to the elements of this place for holding space not only for my own healing and transformation, but for so many people. This place was beloved by many. So many people walked the trail, swam in the pool, enjoyed its magic. So many people grieved as Eagle Creek burned.

I can only hope that as many people are receiving the powerful aliveness and renewal that is emanating from Eagle Creek now. As I embody the wild, untamed, pure life-ness of Eagle Creek and let this rejuvenating force express through me, may it benefit all beings.

If you've been to Eagle Creek, I invite you to tune in to your embodied, wild awareness of that sacred space. What energy do you notice there?

If you've never been to Eagle Creek, I still invite you to tune in to this sacred space. What do you notice in your embodied awareness of this powerful place?

What would be possible for you if you had full, uninhibited access to expressing the most wild, free, untamed, powerful parts of yourself? What would be different in your life, in the lives of your loved ones, and in the world if you were to embody your own, wild nature?

Are you ready to join me in the Embody Wild™ movement? Apply here

Many blessings,

Eagle Creek before the fire (image from Oregon Wild)

You did not come here to be a spiritual being.

You did not come here to be a spiritual being.

You already have access to all the mysteries and all knowledge. You are already connected to the infinite, the Divine, the whole perfection of Source.

Your soul is already perfect.

But you did not come here for that. You came to Earth for something else.

You came to Earth not to live as a spiritual being, but as an Embodied one.

You made the choice, long before you were born, to actualize your consciousness into a body on this beautiful, unique planet. You chose to gift yourself the experience of a lifetime on Earth, in this beautiful, unique body. You chose to embody a new form, born as a soft and tender animal, and explore this physical plane through your beautiful, unique life.

So why aren’t you living fully in your body?

I promise, you’re not alone. Most other humans aren’t fully embodied, either.

Most people are living their lives checked out of their bodies. Maybe they’re up in their head all the time, maybe they’re using spiritual practice as an escape from Earthly life, maybe they use crutches like Netflix, food, alcohol, sex, drugs, shopping, social media, being busy, their careers, the news, drama—anything to avoid being fully present within their own bodies. Anything to dilute and distract themselves.

I get it. I didn’t fully land in my Earth body until my early 20s. But I’ll tell you that story another time.

You might be wondering, “So? What’s the problem? Earth is hard. My life is busy. Why should I care about being Embodied?”

Oh, my dear human friend, you can’t afford NOT to care. None of us can.

You see, common understanding (and societal conditioning) tells us that human bodies are machines to be exercised and fed according to numbers and formulas. It tells us that bodies are prone to sickness and need medications to be normal. It tells us that we need to cover them up with fashionable items and that some bodies are more attractive and worthy than others. It tells us that our bodies are primitive—merely houses for the true power of the mind, heart and soul. Common understanding would have us believe that the body is the least important, least powerful aspect of our existence.

All of this could not be farther from the truth.

Friend, your body is a miracle. Your body is a perfect child of Earth. Your body is a powerful, magical animal that holds all the power and wisdom of Gaia within each cell.

Living fully in your body is the key to your own liberation.

Fully inhabiting your body will give you more power, life force, vitality, trust, creativity and pleasure than you ever imagined.

What would be possible for you if you had full, uninhibited access to expressing the most wild, free, untamed, powerful parts of yourself? What would be different in your life, in the lives of your loved ones, and in the world if you were to embody your own, wild nature?

Are you ready to join me in the Embody Wild™ movement? Apply here

Many blessings,

“The Church says: the body is a sin.
Science says: the body is a machine.
Advertising says: the body is a business.
The Body says: I am a fiesta.”

― Eduardo Galeano, Walking Words

You don't actually want exercise, you want this instead

Have you ever thought, "I need to exercise more," or set a workout goal for yourself, that you never seem to get around to? Or maybe you start strong and go to the gym a few times, then something comes up and you never go again. Or perhaps you keep working out because you' know you should," but it feels unfulfilling. Or maybe you have a very dedicated physical practice that you enjoy, but it seems like something's missing.

What if I told you that the thing you needed and truly desired wasn't exercise at all? What if I told you that there's a reason your workouts feel unfulfilling, you find it hard to stay consistent, and moving your body feels like an obligation? What, then, do you actually desire?

The thing you're actually craving is true embodiment: a deeper sense of connection to the wild animal of your body, and your own cellular intelligence.

To embody: to express, to inhabit, to make tangible, to live, to anchor.

Unfortunately, most people on the planet aren't actually fully embodied. Many people live in some state of disassociation pretty much all of the time. Not being fully embodied can mean that someone's higher self isn't fully grounded into the Earth plane and their energy bodies aren't fully engaged with the physical body.

Not being fully embodied can look like being in your head all the time, feeling unsafe and anxious, greater tendency towards overwhelm and depression, difficulty making decisions, heightened emotional reactivity, easily influenced by outside energy and opinions, chronic health challenges, self doubt, lack of confidence, difficulty interfacing with other people, challenges with money, feeling "checked out" or disconnected, easily exhausted/depleted, addictive tendencies... the list goes on. All of these to varying degrees, of course. I invite you to take a look at this list and notice what areas you experience, and to what extent. If any (or many) of these resonate with you, you're not alone. And there is a very simple solution!

There are so, so many reasons why someone may not be fully embodied, I'm not even going to go there for now. That's a topic for another time.

No matter the reason, we live in a world where most people are not fully embodied, and this is not common knowledge. In general, people don't even know that this is a thing. They just know (consciously or subconsciously) that it feels like something is missing from their lives, and their solution usually comes either in the form of numbing out and avoiding it, or trying to address it with some attempt at landing more fully in the body: exercise, sex, food, etc. (Since we're at the beginning of the year, let's look at exercise, as this is a big resolution theme.)

There's a big difference between "exercise" and "embodiment." One moves your body through some activities, and the other one gives you the kind of power, vitality and confidence you're actually looking for. One treats the body like a machine, and the other recognizes that the body is a sentient, powerful being with unique cellular intelligence and innate wisdom. One is a "should," and the other is a "must."

Don't get me wrong--there is absolutely some intersection between the two! True embodiment practices can include intense training, but an embodiment practice might also be snuggling with an animal.

An embodiment practice is something that helps you consciously connect more fully to the physical body and ground the Higher Self and energy bodies into the Earth plane for their full expression through form.

When you are fully embodied, an entirely different way of being becomes available to you. Instead of being in your head all the time,  anxious and unsafe, you'll feel grounded, calm and resourced. Instead of being reactive, easily swayed and challenged making decisions, you'll feel attuned, confident and centered in your Self. Instead of difficulty with money, people and other Earth-plane realities, you'll feel more trusting, more supportive, open to connection and flow. Instead of feeling depleted and needing to check out, you'll discover new strength and vitality, and abundant capacity for connection.

Embodiment is the key to freedom: the missing piece that will help you fully inhabit and express your own, untamed, original nature. Being fully embodied will help you show up more than ever for your wild and precious life.

Are you ready?

There are so many ways to practice embodiment, and I would love to invite you to experience one such practice with me!

Embody Wild: to fully live and express your original, pure, untamed nature.

Are you tired of being in your head all the time? Do you have an energetic/spiritual practice, but feel like it's not translating into your 3D experience? Do you feel stuck, stagnant, unsure, ungrounded, fed up and bored?

Are you ready to have full access to your Wild, powerful self?

Join me for Embody Wild!

Many blessings,

"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves."

~Mary Oliver

Why you probably don't have an entity (and no one is attacking you)

I have learned to never be surprised by the shit people tell me, or by people contacting me out of the blue with some truly wild stories. Seriously—my email is a fascinating read. I regularly receive messages from random people that range from two sentences to a few pages long, and most of these emails include the person’s assumption that they have picked up a harmful entity, and/or someone or something is attacking them. Occasionally, people request an exorcism.

My response to these people varies, depending on the level of wackadoo in the email. I will usually offer support in the form of resources and practices to ground and strengthen the field. (I tell them, “go watch this podcast episode, do these practices for a week and then let me know how you’re doing.”) If the person seems relatively grounded and stable, I may invite them to do some sessions with me.

Interestingly, the people that I give practices to never circle back around with me. Seriously. Not once. This astonishes me, because in my mind, if I thought I had an entity and a Shaman told me to do something to support my system, I would do exactly what they told me.

Of the people I have worked with who came in thinking they had entities, attachments or were being attacked by someone or something, care to guess how many actually did?

Answer: a small handful.

In other words, over the 15+ years that I’ve been studying and practicing Shamanism and healing work, the percentage of people who think they have an entity or are being attacked, who ACTUALLY have an entity or are being attacked, is tiny. Like, maybe 5%.

So, what’s going on with the other 95%?

Without fail, the other 95% of people do not actually have entities or attachments, and are not being attacked by anyone or anything. Instead, they are feeling their own Shadow, and ascribing their discomfort to something outside of themselves.

Here are a few notable examples:

1. Several years ago, a woman contacted me about getting an exorcism for her 8-year-old granddaughter. She described the situation and I tuned into the field. Did the granddaughter have an entity? Answer: no. She was just being an 8-year-old and processing a lot of trauma in the only way she knew how—by screaming, acting out and going from zero to tantrum at the drop of a hat. I offered healing work (not an exorcism) and the woman said no. I believe she went on to have her granddaughter exorcised by a priest. (Cringe.)

2. Last year, a client came to me who thought he had entities that were making him tired and depressed. Did he? Answer: no. He was processing his own Shadow and metabolizing energy on behalf of his lineage. We did some very powerful healing sessions that released ancestral trauma, rewrote some unhealthy soul contracts and supported him in stepping into his empowered soul work and purpose.

3. Recently, my ex asked me if I was “sending her bad juju.” When I asked for clarification, she said she felt a lot of bad energy coming from me and was physically afraid for her safety. She thought I was attacking her. Was I? Answer: of course not. The fact that she thought I would further illustrated the wisdom of that separation. What was actually happening? She was most likely processing her Shadow and pain body magnified by our breakup.

4. A while ago, a woman reached out about her son. She was concerned for his health, and thought that he might have an entity or attachment. It turns out that the boy’s father had died in a bad way and that the boy had been the one to find him. Did he have an attachment? Answer: in this case, yes. The father’s spirit had attached to the boy.

These are only a few examples, but my god, people! The level of story-making blows my mind. Why do people so quickly jump to the conclusion that they have an entity, or that someone or something is attacking them? How did this become a thing?

I have a few thoughts on this:

1. Generally speaking, most people don’t understand the principle of Shadow or Shadow Work. For our purposes in Shamanic and Alchemical philosophy, the Shadow is “that which is unseen or unintegrated.” If people are confronted with their Shadow, it’s probably something they’ve been avoiding and it makes them uncomfortable.

2. If people aren’t used to being uncomfortable, they will try to explain their discomfort by assuming something is wrong, rather than “I’m processing trauma” or “I feel really bad about my decisions” or “I’m learning some really hard lessons right now,” and letting that be okay.

3. Projecting the discomfort to an external source means that people don’t have to take responsibility for it. If they’re not ready to own the energy and actually move through it, it’s a lot easier to blame their off-ness on an entity or an attack.

4. If people think there is an external source to blame, it means they get to be a victim, and they don’t actually have to change themselves or their behavior. Instead of looking at how they are creating or contributing to this experience, people think that the problem to be fixed is simply getting rid of the entity or stopping the attack.

5. Pop culture has glorified and misrepresented possession, entities, psychic attacks and all sorts of other bullshit. Yes, all of these things do exist. Yes, it is possible to be possessed, to have an entity or attachment, and energetic attack is totally a thing. However, it is not the most LIKELY explanation. Far more likely is the Shadow Work explanation. Occam’s razor, people: the simplest solution is probably the correct one.

The next time you’re moving through some uncomfortable energy and wondering if you have an entity or are being attacked… stop. It’s probably just your own Shadow. Here’s what to do:

1. Regulate your energy. Use energetic and physical practices to clear, ground, cultivate and protect your field. If you don’t know any of these techniques, tune in to my podcast, Shaman Sister Sessions. Katherine Bird and I offer lots of tools and practices.

2. Once you’ve regulated your field, assess how you’re doing. Ask yourself some guiding questions to learn more about your experience. Examples include:

   • What energy is moving through me?

   • What part of me is asking to be seen?

   • What am I getting out of this experience?

   • What part of me is asking to change or transform?

3. If you still need help, contact me! Yes, I know how to do exorcisms, but you probably don’t need one. Instead, we would most likely work on supporting your field, metabolizing unprocessed energy, healing trauma, actualizing your purpose and bringing you into your fullest, most empowered expression in the world. Isn’t that more fun than an exorcism?

When these people who contact me choose to show up and work with the Shadow, the results are incredibly powerful. Imagine consciously and lovingly working with the unseen and unintegrated parts of yourself to bring them into a harmonious state. Wouldn’t you love to give yourself that gift? Instead of keeping it surface level and assuming that someone or something else is to blame for your experience, imagine taking empowered agency for your process and transmuting your own Shadow.

Special sneak peek: new Shaman Sister Sessions episode comes out on Thursday! Episodes #92 and #93 are both about Entities, Attachments and Psychic Attacks. Episode #92 continues this conversation about why you probably don’t have an entity. Episode #93 talks about what to do if you do have an energetic attachment. Want access to the episodes? Join Lightworker Portal—the FREE community I created just for you! Get instant access to all the content archives.

Whether you have an entity or not (let’s face it: probably not) the opportunity for you is the same: to transmute your Shadow, to master your energy and to embody your fully empowered sovereignty. Regardless of how you choose to learn this lesson, your own Soul is inviting you to be more powerful and compassionate, and live with more grace than ever before.

This is true Alchemy.

If you find yourself in a situation like this, it's because your Soul is giving you the keys to your own actualization. Even though the energy may feel dense, heavy, insurmountable and incredibly painful, it is this same energy that will liberate you. This is your own personal lead--the heavy base metal that you get to transform into Gold. Your Soul is calling you to step up and alchemize your Shadow into your greatest Light. Your Soul is asking you to alchemize your pain into joy. Your Soul is inviting you to alchemize your grief, your anger, your suffering into grace, compassion and peace.

If you’re ready to say YES to your Soul, I’m here to help.

Do you want to…

• …go from feeling like you’re living at the whims of change, to intentionally choosing your own path of transformation and creation?

• …have a roadmap to guide you through the hardest transformational moments of your life?

• …learn tools and practices that will immediately and noticeably enhance your vitality, health, energy and well-being?

• …know without a shadow of a doubt that you are living your life “on purpose?”

• …feel connected to something bigger than yourself? Do you want to commune with Spirit through this ancient and powerful lineage?

• …use these powerful tools to support loved ones, clients and your community in their journey of transformation and actualization?

Applications are now open for Embody-Wild that will help you heal your Shadow.



Check out all the details here.

Many Blessings,

Practice prompt:

Get comfortable sitting with your Shadow body. Rather than dismissing or avoiding it, practice asking questions like:

• What energy is moving through me?

• What part of me is asking to be seen?

• What am I getting out of this experience?

• What part of me is asking to change or transform?

Part of me was afraid to go to Avalon, and now I know why (plus pictures!)

I returned 90 days ago from a priestess pilgrimage to Avalon. Since then, in addition to massive growth and activation, my life has been completely upended in a few key areas. For these past three months, I’ve been sitting with rage, grief, betrayal, catharsis, purification, power and resilience.

…which is exactly what I was afraid of.

My first morning in Avalon--I awoke before sunrise with a sense of urgency to go up the Tor (the hill). I practically ran to the top and did qi gong as the sun rose orange and burned off the surrounding mist.

In case you’re not familiar with Avalon, it’s an ancient and sacred site in England, most well known in mythology relating to King Arthur and the Lady of the Lake. The Isle of Avalon corresponds to the contemporary town of Glastonbury, where there are many cherished sacred sites. I had been feeling the Soul Calling to travel to Avalon for well over a year. The circumstances of my trip were about as divinely aligned as one could imagine, and for months preceding my trip, I felt the energy building with power and possibility.

And yet, along with that sense of power and potential came fear. As I journaled in preparation for the pilgrimage, I found myself expressing trepidation and anxiety. The fear I felt wasn’t attached to any particular concern—I knew from my meditations and my guidance that this pilgrimage was part of a series of powerful initiations, and that I would receive incredible activations as part of my journey. But along with the knowledge of the activations that awaited me, a very human survival-level fear lurked in the background.

It’s a lot easier for me to look back now and understand what I felt at the time. As I was preparing to head into this powerful initiation portal, the part of me that felt afraid was the part of me that has been dying since that trip—the part of me that was burned to ash in my rage, dissolved in a pool of grief and slashed by the sharp blade of betrayal. That part has ultimately surrendered to catharsis.

Friend, have you ever experienced a Soul Calling that simultaneously thrilled and terrified you? Have you felt the raw power and potential that awaits you, but known that it comes at the cost of the life you used to lead? Have you known that, as you were choosing your own liberation, you were also choosing your own death?

I spent more time on the Tor than pretty much anywhere else in Avalon. Here I am after another sunrise practice. I also watched a couple of sunsets, went up a handful of times during the day, and twice after sunset to look at the stars.

I also spent a lot of time in the Chalice Well Gardens. This is the Chalice Well itself, which is connected to the Red Spring (one of the sacred springs of Avalon). I did several mornings of qi gong practice by the Lion's Head fountain in the gardens.

This is exactly the nature of the fear that I felt leading up to my trip. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my pilgrimage to Avalon was rooted in pure soul calling and resonance, but that by taking the trip, I would have to finally let go of one of the most significant aspects of my life. I knew that the initiations I received on this journey would offer me more power and freedom than I could consciously understand, but that I would also be choosing the death of my old self.

Friend, it has been a bumpy ride. This particular death cycle has primarily taken the form of an incredibly challenging breakup. The exact details aren’t important for this story, but suffice it to say that I have been witnessing with dumbfounded amazement the perfect shitstorm that is continuing to unfold even as we speak. Every time I think the situation has bottomed out, the bottom drops again.

It. Fucking. Sucks.

…but in addition to the massive suck-age and heartache, I am also present to the cosmic perfection of it all. My former partner and I were together for two years, despite knowing that we weren’t each other’s people. We figured out very early on in our relationship that we wanted different things and had different visions for our lives, but decided to journey together anyway out of our mutual love and appreciation, and the growth that was available to us even as not-forever-partners. We each became the go-to person for the other. We built a life together that was rich, beautiful and fun. We were in love, and it was good.
But it wasn’t right, and we both knew it. In fact, we both knew it for more than a year before we finally separated in September.

Looking back now, I can easily see that the fear I felt before going to Avalon came from the part of me that knew it would not survive the journey. The version of me in the not-right partnership, the life I had built with someone I loved and was unwilling to leave: that was the part that felt afraid and resistant. That part of me knew that the initiations I would receive on the pilgrimage would shift me out of alignment with staying in that relationship. I knew that going to Avalon and walking through that portal would mean the end of that chapter of my life.

And just three short weeks after arriving back from Avalon, it all came crashing down in a non-negotiable, can’t-possibly-ignore, what-the-fuck-is-happening, shitstorm that I have been processing and integrating since the beginning of September.

Even though the aftermath of my Avalon trip looks for all intents and purposes like total destruction, entering that initiation portal was one of the most powerful choices I have ever made, and I have no regrets. Even though it has meant the death of my relationship (along with many other connected parts of my identity and life structure) and the continued processing of uncomfortable feelings and shitty circumstances, I am glad I chose that path. Remember the rage, grief, betrayal and catharsis I mentioned earlier? Even though these energies have challenged me to my core, they have been vitally important to the process, because they gave me the perfect fodder to alchemize into true power and resilience. I am blowing my own mind every day with who I am becoming and what I am capable of.

My group had private access to Stonehenge on the last day of the pilgrimage.

Just as I’m experiencing the 3D “whiplash” in response to massive energetic expansion, this Soul Calling has also paved the way for massive growth in other areas. My energetic mastery, psychic perception and attunement to the subtle levels is off the charts. Aside from the relationship blowup, my return from Avalon has included many creative and fruitful projects. I have also begun to refine my work with Dragons and work with higher-vibration practices. My physical body feels more healthy and vital, my community connections are flourishing and I have been invited to share my work in new and exciting places.

I have shared very little about my Avalon trip (it’s obviously still landing and integrating), but it felt important to share with you about the ripple effects of an activation experience. (Side note: did you catch the episode of Shaman Sister Sessions that went out two weeks ago? It was about Soul Activations, and it is directly related to our topic for today. Check it out here.) In particular, I wanted to share this with you because I know I’m not alone when it comes to feeling fear around a soul calling.

Friend, I bet you can relate. Maybe you’ve had an experience like mine, where you feel the power and potential leading up to an initiation experience, knowing that part of you will die in the process, but you choose it anyway. Or maybe you have felt the power and potential emanating from a soul calling, but you haven’t answered it because the cost seems too great. Maybe you’re afraid to let that part of yourself die, so you have yet to step through the initiation portal that awaits you.

I am here to tell you that you will be okay. I promise. It might not seem like it, and believe me, I’ve heard all the objections. Their Soul Calling will lead them to this lineage and body of knowledge, but when it comes time to commit to their journey, their hidden fears come up. When we dig deeper and finally get to the root of it, they say things like, “I’m afraid my marriage won’t survive,” or, “I’m afraid I’ll lose my friends and family because they won’t understand me,” or, “I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep putting up with what I have been tolerating,” or, “I’m afraid because I don’t know who I’ll be if I say yes to that level of growth.” Essentially, all of these people fear the same thing: the death of their old Self.

What about you? What Soul Calling is inviting you to step through a powerful initiation portal, and at what cost? What liberation, power and potential awaits you as you surrender your past self to death?

Are you willing to let yourself die in order to grow and be reborn? Are you willing to shift out of alignment with everything that doesn’t serve you anymore, so you can create more of what does?

It may not be comfortable, but I promise, it’s worth it.

And if your Soul Calling is asking you to step into the initiation portal of Embody Wild, I invite you to answer the call. What growth, expansion and rebirth waits for you on the other side?

If you're ready to see what Embody Wild holds for you, begin the process by submitting your application here.

Your Soul Calling is waiting for you. What do you need to do to answer it?

Many blessings,

Inspiration

While at Stonehenge, I had several visions, past life memories and revisited soul agreements. This was one of the places where I passed through a major initiation portal.

Can you see the double rainbow? I took this picture on my last evening in Avalon after a torrential rainstorm. I climbed Wearyall hill to get a look at the Tor and was treated to this powerful sight.

Freedom Through Commitment

What are your commitments?

What a beautiful weekend! My students and I just finished three days of deep-dive magic and practice at our third I AM Alchemy retreat.

...and I feel so much clarity.

This course is one of the most aligned, authentic components of my business to date. Within the framework of I AM Alchemy, there are teachings, structures and syllabus. But one of the things I love most about teaching a body of knowledge based in practical, real-time magic is the freedom.

Read on for one of the highlight takeaways from the weekend! You can apply this tool to uplevel and receive clarity in your own practice!

General applications for I AM Alchemy 2019 are now open. Whether you are an existing or aspiring practitioner, healer or coach, or whether you want to spend 12 months walking the Alchemist path as part of your personal journey of commitment to Self, Spirit and your practice... if you want to bring practical application of real-time magic and alignment with Universal forces of creation to your life, I AM Alchemy is for you. Apply here: I AM Alchemy

I admit that part of me was a tad apprehensive last year at the idea of offering a year-long course, especially at the idea of being tied to a syllabus. One of the things I value most in my business is the flexibility I have to offer what feels most lit-up, and sometimes that can change from year to year, or season to season.

But the thing about this course is, it is a life force of its own, and as such, it has a process of evolution and growth within the body of knowledge itself. I AM Alchemy is not a dry, scripted teaching from a dusty book. It is a vital, living entity that has its own energy flow and plan. Someone asked me recently how I organize and offer my teachings, and the most honest response was simply, "I listen to what wants to be shared."

This is the difference between teaching and stewardship. Yes, I have a plan. Yes, I have a course outline and documents and structure. But more important than this is the capacity to listen and to transmit what wants to come through, and knowing that it will be exactly the right thing for my students.

Ultimately, my role in this process is to simply pass along the messages. As a steward of this mystery school, part of my job is to be quiet and allow myself to be guided, so that I can guide my students in turn. This is my commitment to Spirit and to Alchemy itself, and as long as I practice this work, I honor this commitment. As long as I honor this commitment, I have the freedom I desire in my practice.

My commitments to this body of knowledge allow me to be an active participant in the mystery, which always feels like the most lit-up path.

In preparation for the retreat, I asked my students to write their own commitments. This practice is our way of making a contract of sorts with ourselves and with the work. We witnessed each other in our commitments during ceremony, and the power that came from this practice blew myself and everyone away.

What happens when we make these commitments? What happens when we spell out in writing what we are signing up for as a Lightworker on this planet?

What are your commitments?

Here some of are mine. Check out below for the prompts I offered my students if you would like to write your own.

As an Alchemist, I commit...

As an Alchemist, I commit to holding myself in trust and compassion through change as I discover and know fully all parts of my Self. I commit to bringing magic to every facet of my life.

As an Alchemist, I commit to bringing more subtlety, intentionality, precision and grace to my work. I commit to redefining my personal practice to align more supportively and harmoniously with my well-being.

As an Alchemist, I commit to carrying out the operations of the Sun, Moon and Earth here on this planet for the Highest and Greatest Good of all beings.

As an Alchemist, I commit to being an instrument and steward of this body of knowledge, to ensuring its path in the modern world, and to honoring and participating in this cycle, always. I commit to holding the torch so that those who are ready may find the path. I commit to listening always to this work, and offering teachings in alignment with the instruction I receive.

If you are ready to step into your own commitments to the path, then I AM Alchemy is right for you. If you are ready to answer your deep soul calling to live your purpose... If you are ready to step into fulfillment of your Soul Contract and commitments... If you are ready to remember who you truly are, claim your I AM and inspire others to do the same... If you are ready to walk the Earth as a Divine Embodied Being...

Applications are now open! Apply here: I AM Alchemy

Many blessings,

Journal prompt:

What are my commitments to my Self?
What are my commitments to my practice?
What are my commitments to Spirit?
What do I need in order to honor those commitments?

Access Your Inner Master Creator

Creatorship: active participation in the natural cycles of Universal energy, from a place of fully empowered BE-ing.

Creation is the natural order of energy. Cycles of creation and destruction hold a healthy, harmonious balance of flow in the world. We see this phenomenon in the cycles of the seasons, in nutrient cycling in nature, in the phases of the moon… you get the idea.

Natural Cycles

Often, when we think about the process of creation, we call to mind the idea of “making something out of nothing.” However, as we know from the first law of thermodynamics (also known as the Law of Conservation of Energy), energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but rather, energy can only be transferred or transformed. Thus, creation originates not from nothing, but from recycling, reorganizing and reforming energy that was already in existence into a different vibration.

Your Active Participation

Universal energy is an infinite source with a will and life force of its own. Since we ourselves are made from this energy, we already have the right and full access to work with life force energy. However, one may ask, “If Universal energy has a will and life force of its own, why is my active participation required?” This is where I’ll insert a tiny rant about Bliss Ninnies. There are people (I’m sure you know someone like this, or know of people like this) who have taken the passive approach to life. They have determined that the Universe has a will of its own and that all things move in accordance with this will, and they have stopped there. Some things these people commonly say include, “Everything is perfect,” “I’m just going with the flow,” and “The Universe will provide, man.”

You may also notice that these people are remarkably ineffective at creating change in their own lives, usually hold a lot of stagnant energy and tend to have poor boundaries.

And yet, they’re not totally wrong, they’ve just taken the passive approach. Let’s examine these statements from the active perspective:

“Everything is perfect, because everything is Source, and I am a perfect embodiment of that same Source.”

“I am consciously moving and aligning with the flow of Divine will.”

“I am clear and empowered in my intentions and desires and the Universe is answering my prayers and providing for me, always.”

What is the difference between these two approaches? Mostly, it’s as simple as paying attention. Your active participation in the cycles of creation is a gift and an invitation. You are always at choice. However, keep in mind that your choice not to participate as an active co-creator of your life and of the world is also a clear intention that will be answered in its own way. Better to show up and take an active role.

Fully Empowered BE-ing

The good news is, taking an active role in the creation of our lives and of the world is usually simpler than we think. Put very plainly:

There is nothing that you have to do, other than be who you are.

But just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it’s easy. Assuming your place as Master Creator of your existence requires you to claim your fully actualized, empowered state as a Divine Embodied Being. It requires that you remember fully your own Divine origins, remember that you have the right and the privilege to come to Earth to play and learn, and that you have chosen to be here in this body, for this reason.

In other words, mastering the cycles of creation isn’t really about doing anything at all. Rather, it’s about remembering who you are and letting that knowledge spread through every cell of your body and every facet of your consciousness, until your mastery of Creatorship is inevitable.

If you are ready to access your inner Master Creator, then I AM Alchemy is right for you. If you are ready to align with the natural cycles of Universal energy... If you are ready to show up in active participation to collaborate with Spirit in more magic than you ever thought possible... If you are ready to remember who you are and come into the full expression of your Self as a Divine Embodied Being...

Apply now for I AM Alchemy 2020

Meditation prompt:

What would I like to create in my own life and in the world? How can I participate actively in aligning with this frequency through my BE-ing?

Righteous Living: Aligning with Flow

"Please help me to be in alignment with Divine flow, right timing and the Highest and Greatest Good."

Right timing.

I've been thinking a lot about this idea lately. In case you missed last week's article on Wu-Wei (the art of not doing), know that this has been a prevalent theme for me. I find myself asking, how can I be more in alignment with the flow of energy as it wants to move, rather than how I want it to or think it "should" move? And, in doing so, how can I align my own desires more authentically with the natural rhythms and currents of universal energy?

In addition to themes of slowing down and turning our energy inward, one of the signature energies of Autumn, according to Taoist philosophy, is righteousness. Let's look at this for a moment in contrast with self-righteousness:

Self-righteousness: my time, my reasons, my place, my people.
Righteousness: right time, right reasons, right place, right people.

Self-righteousness asserts a degree of ownership and control over the flow of energy, whereas righteousness itself infers a co-creative process of being in right relation with the flow of energy.

When you consider that distinction, what do you notice? What feelings arise in your body? I don't know about you, but when I consider the idea of right time, right reasons, right place and right people, it feels as though my whole body softens with a sigh.

What a relief.

In continuing with the theme of Wu-wei and the active process of not-doing, I am practicing paying radical attention to how self-righteousness is showing up in my life, and how I can surrender attachment and ownership and remove my sense of control from the equation. The sensation and energetic frame this requires feels much like what I find myself practicing when I work with horses.

Last week, the ranch owner asked me to demonstrate to a group of newcomers what it looks like to move a herd of horses with energy and intention. Entering an arena with five horses who are all doing their own thing, getting their attention and asking them to move cohesively as a group with focus and power is the ultimate practice in righteousness. (Oh, yeah--it was also my first time doing this exercise.) I dropped into my breath, noticed my posture shift automatically to a stance of grounded empowerment, and felt my attention move from my conscious mind ("how am I going to get them to do this?") into my subconscious, subtle awareness... the same place my attention shifts when practicing healing or psychic work.

Merely from these small changes, the horses shifted their energy and attention to me. Using the energy of their attention combined with my subtle awareness, I began to move my energy. The horses responded. As we cycled our energy and intention together, we created a feedback that resulted in the five horses running effortlessly together in a weaving pattern, with me simultaneously following their energetic flow and directing and shaping the current.

I'm not trying to be deliberately vague about this--the point is that it's not really a conscious thing. By being in a state of righteousness--reading their energy of right direction, right place, right timing and aligning myself with it--we were able to co-create flow and momentum. If I had kept my energy in my head and tried to assert my direction, my place and my timing, it probably would have fallen flat, resulted in the horses ignoring me or scattering and avoiding my direction.

Last week's very embodied experience of this simple distinction has me looking out for all areas in my life where I can practice righteousness over self-righteousness. The process feels like living constantly in that state of subtle awareness, and noticing how the universe weaves in co-creation with me when I allow it to show me the natural flow. So far, the result has been less effort-ing, less tiring, less time spent, and a whole lot more being quiet and paying attention, while making subtle shifts in response.

If you would like to join me in this ongoing practice of playing with righteousness with the universe, see below for meditation and journal prompts! Thank you for taking this journey with me into the subtle realms... 'tis the season.

This teaching comes from I AM Alchemy, and how to work with allowing energies to flow through you rather than "making" it happen.

Want to know more? Apply now for I AM Alchemy 2020

Many blessings,

Journal prompts:

Where in my life am I living with righteousness? Where in my life am I living with self-righteousness? What in me needs to shift in order to align with righteous living?

Meditation prompts:

What does righteousness feel like in my body? Where does it live in my body? How can I consciously access this energy and use it with intention?

Beauty as a Spiritual Practice: The 29 Day Taurus Challenge

What is the "Beauty Way?" How can the Taurus magic of beauty, embodiment and sensuality support our healthy personal practice?

The guiding principle of Taurus magic is, "Beauty as a Spiritual Practice, and Intimacy as an Art Form."

I first began my conscious initiation into the Taurus mystery school about 4 or 5 years ago. This exploration came around the time of my recovering from an abusive relationship and its associated wounds. Practicing the Beauty Way was enormously supportive of my healing path.

But my investigation went much farther than that: as I delved into the Taurus mysteries, I felt my way through a new way of being embodied in the world. For the first time, I allowed myself to fully receive in all ways, and experience visceral pleasure and enjoyment.

Taurus is the magic of the body, and how we experience the world through our senses. When Taurus magic is expressed and healthy, we allow ourselves to live fully in the body, experience true sensual pleasure (sensual=gratifying to the senses), and walk the Beauty Way. Taurus is the magic of receiving and devotion to the Self, simply for the sake of enjoyment.

As I explored the Taurus mysteries, I opened myself up to receive more and more beauty from the world around me. I savored delicious food, I dressed in soft fabrics, I enjoyed full belly laughter, I cultivated rich friendships and I explored Tantra and new practices of intimacy. I indulged in pleasure simply for pleasure's sake. I established my worthiness to receive compliments, affection, money, respect and affirmation.

Walking the Beauty Way has influenced all aspects of my life. Now, I look for beauty not only in the apparent (nature, poetry, love) but in the not-so-obvious: the art of running a business, the musicality of skillful conversation, the taste of learning new words and the texture of new ideas, the elegance of a well-organized home, the beauty of a still mind in total presence... you get the idea.

Artwork by Chani Nicholas

How can we witness more beauty in ourselves, in each other and in the world around us? How much can we open ourselves to receive?

Last year, I gave myself a personal challenge to practice the "Beauty Way" during the Taurus lunar cycle. Every day, I made it a practice to find, appreciate and share something beautiful. This led to so many rich discoveries and new layers of gratitude. I was delighted by taking pleasure in my life in a new way! The more I opened myself to receiving Beauty from the world, the more I found myself receiving in other ways, as well.

This year, as we approach next week's New Moon in Taurus, I am inviting you to join me in this challenge! What happens when we look for that which brings us pleasure? How much can we open ourselves to fully receive beauty? I challenge you to practice the Beauty Way with me!

Beauty as a Spiritual Practice: The 29 Day Taurus Challenge

Challenge guidelines:

• The challenge starts at 4:59am on May 15 (Taurus New Moon) through 12:45pm on June 13 (Gemini New Moon).
• Join the Facebook group here.
• Post every day! Or as much as you like.
• Share a photo or brief paragraph of something beautiful you witnessed or experienced, and what you received from it/how it contributed to your personal practice.
• To be eligible for prizes, photos must be accompanied by a caption/takeaway. Paragraphs do not need to have a photo (but it is highly encouraged).
• You can post multiple times per day if you like, but for contest purposes, I will only count 1 entry per day.

Prizes!

• The person with the most eligible posts (most days walking the Beauty Way) will win one FREE 1-hour session of your choice with me! ($250 value)
• The person with my favorite Beauty as a Spiritual Practice post will win one FREE 1-hour session of your choice with me! ($250 value)
• The runner-up participants in each category will each receive one FREE 30-minute session with me!

I will offer examples leading up to the beginning of the challenge! Stay tuned for updates, ideas and start walking the Beauty Way!

Ready, set, GO!

Self Mastery (Full Moon in Leo)

"Any Spiritual practice that I cannot apply to my lived experience is not worth my time."

You may quote me, if you like.

I enjoyed a tea date last week with a friend and colleague, during which she asked me if I thought that getting dressed up, wearing nice clothes, and in general indulging in personal, earthly pleasures conflicted with living in alignment with a Spiritual practice... Does living a rich, earthly, human life make us less spiritual?

My emphatic response, in short: No way!

There’s a term I came up with that I like to use with my clients and students to impress a certain idea upon them when discussing Self Mastery. The term is “Divine Embodied Being.”

I find this term very appropriate for a few reasons, but largely because it reminds us of the multi-faceted nature of our existence. The term “Human Being” is of biological origin and serves only to describe our physical and genetic makeup. How are we different from other beings? Well, we’re Human Beings!

However, we are so much more than our limbs and our brains and our genes. We are the embodiment of the Divine. Our physical forms provide the anchor for our souls to live on the Earth plane.

And so, we are Divine Embodied Beings. We are the physical manifestation of Spirit. We are Source and matter. If we wish to master one, we must master both.

It is so easy for us humans to use duality to separate and exclude: “If A, then not B.” Or, “If I am human, then I am not Divine,” or even, “If I am Divine, then I have no reason to pay attention to my human body.”

This last example is one that I see all too often, especially among people who have begun to realize their Spiritual awakening but have yet to balance it with the earthly aspects of their existence. Many clients come to me who are so focused on mastering the energetic part of their process that they haven’t bothered to bring the physical, earthly part of themselves up to speed yet.

Here are some examples of sacrificing our lived experience in the name of "Spirituality":

• Having poor boundaries/allowing other people to walk all over us because we're afraid of being unkind or unconscious
• Giving up things we love (that make us genuinely happy) because we are afraid of being "too attached"
• Losing touch with our family/friends/community
• Putting ourselves in compromising, potentially dangerous positions in the name of "spiritual growth" when any common sense would tell us to run away
• Compromising our values for what we think is the "more conscious" course of action, even if it goes directly against our Truth
• Avoiding healthy financial flow and structure because "money isn't spiritual"

I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that, quite often, there is a period of adjustment when it comes to mastering all parts of ourselves as Divine Embodied Beings... and usually, the human parts of ourselves are on the losing end of the deal.

In order to honor all parts of our nature and live in the world as whole beings, it is of equal importance to devote care and attention to the parts of ourselves that are Divine AND the parts of ourselves that are Matter. Moreover, we must not treat them as separate facets of our existence, but as deeply interwoven and mutually necessary components of our wholeness. It is our bodies that offer a place for Spirit to live inside of us, and it is our Souls that animate our physical forms beyond the level of a biochemical machine.

True Self Mastery means living a rich life in all ways, and knowing that all parts of ourselves are of equal importance. Any Spiritual practice we adopt should uplift, improve and bring grace to our Human, embodied experience. Otherwise, why bother?

On the other side of the coin, any human experience or indulgence we offer ourselves should enrich and cultivate our Spiritual being. Otherwise, why bother?

Lunar Alchemy: Full Moon in Leo

I don't know about you, but I am so damn grateful for this upcoming full moon/ supermoon/ lunar eclipse. We live in a society that has collectively agreed to suppress, compress, categorize and diagnose us all into little boxes.

No effing thank you.

This Full Moon in Leo comes in with a roar to open up the biggest, most expansive container of SELF! How can we ever hope to know who we are if we can't see and fully experience all parts of ourselves? How can we actually be as big as we truly are?

Join me for a Full Moon journey of expansion, discovery and Mastery of Self.

Together, we will:
-Explore the themes of this Full Moon and discuss the magic of Lunar Alchemy
-Share our lunar intentions
-Receive a channeled transmission with information about supporting your intentions and placing our work in the global context
-Enjoy a group healing experience and embodied meditation practice to anchor in the energies
-Learn about the journey of I AM Alchemy

Sliding scale $44-22. Register to reserve your space. FREE for I AM Alchemy participants!

Embodiment

Originally published on Eagle Song March 6, 2016.

There’s a term I came up with that I like to use with my clients and students to impress a certain idea upon them. The term is “Divine Embodied Being.”

I find this term very appropriate for a few reasons, but largely because it reminds us of the multi-faceted nature of our existence. The term “Human Being” is of biological origin and serves only to describe our physical and genetic makeup. How are we different from other beings? Well, we’re Human Beings!

However, we are so much more than our limbs and our brains and our genes. We are the embodiment of the Divine. Our physical forms provide the anchor for our souls to live on the Earth plane.

And so, we are Divine Embodied Beings. We are the physical manifestation of Spirit. We are Source and matter.

(For the purposes of this article, I only talk about human Divine Embodied Beings, but plants, animals, crystals, minerals, etc are also Divine Embodied Beings.)

It is so easy for us humans to use duality to separate and exclude: “If A, then not B.” Or, “If I am human, then I am not Divine,” or even, “If I am Divine, then I have no reason to pay attention to my human body.”

This last example is one that I see all too often, especially among people who have begun to realize their Spiritual awakening but have yet to balance it with the earthly aspects of their existence. Many clients come to me who are so focused on the energetic part of their process that they haven’t bothered to bring their physical bodies up to speed yet.

So let’s talk about the purpose and importance of Embodiment practice from a Spiritual perspective.

In order to honor all parts of our nature and live in the world as whole beings, it is of equal importance to devote care and attention to the parts of ourselves that are Divine AND the parts of ourselves that are Matter. Moreover, we must not treat them as separate facets of our existence, but as deeply interwoven and mutually necessary components of our wholeness. It is our bodies that offer a place for Spirit to live inside of us, and it is our Souls that animate our physical forms beyond the level of a biochemical machine.

One of the ways we can support both parts of ourselves simultaneously is through Embodied Meditation. Absolutely any activity can be a form of Embodied Meditation, if you hold the intention for it. When students or clients tell me that they’re “bad at meditating,” I ask them what activities they enjoy, and what brings them peace. Often the answers include things like walking outside, gardening, yoga or going for a run. I tell them that these are all wonderful forms of Embodied Meditation, and when they do these activities, to practice bringing intention and mindfulness to the exercise.

My favorite form of embodied meditation is dancing. And I’m not talking about the kind of dancing where you sort of stand there awkwardly and shift your weight from side to side. I’m not even talking about structured dances with certain steps and standards of correct form. I’m talking about allowing your body to move in whatever way it feels called, whether or not it’s pretty. The kind of dance where you feel energy coursing through your veins, filling your cells and making your chakras spin and glow. The kind of dance where, as you start shaking, you feel all the blockages and stagnant energy inside yourself start to melt and release into the floor. Dancing until you are drenched in sweat and your hair is full of tears from crying as you allow powerful energy to rush through you, releasing old wounds. Dancing and channeling our ancestors who danced for thousands of years before us to honor their bodies, honor Spirit and feel alive. Dancing until you drop in so deeply that you enter a trance state and forget completely who and where you are, and all that exists is movement.

Needless to say, I start more slowly with my clients and we work up to trance dancing when/if they’re ready. I teach some basic practices and help my clients find what works best for them. Some forms of Embodied Meditation can be relatively peaceful, like gentle yoga. Some are more playful, like my friend’s game of “Zen rock-hopping” (jumping from stone to stone through a river or stream. As he says, if you think about it too much, you get wet). Others are fairly extreme, like my roommate running 100-mile races. She told me about one instance, about 70 miles in, were she started seeing ghosts coming out of the ground. But what is the point of activities like that? No matter what form it takes, why do we need embodied meditation?

Physical practices like these unite the part of us that is Embodied with the part of us that is Divine. When we bring our Spirit and our intention to an embodied practice, we can move energy through our physical system. It is the perfect union of tangible and intangible, working across the hemispheres of our brains and across whatever barriers we have put between our energetic awareness and our bodies.

Throughout my whole life, I have had some form of physical practice. Whether it was being part of a sports team or doing activities by myself, I always knew that I felt happier and healthier when I took care of my body. When I officially began my Reiki practice in 2006, it took a few years for me to make the connection between the energetic work I was doing and the physical process of moving energy through my body. There were times when I would do all I could with Reiki to release stagnant energies, but until I went for a run and flushed them from my system, they were stuck. In the last several years I have come to a deep understanding of how physically shaking and sweating old energies out of me is just as important to the healing process as the energy work itself. We are Divine Embodied Beings, and in order to be whole, we must honor all parts of ourselves.

I used to only teach Embodiment practices to my private clients as part of our work together, but I recently included an Embodied Meditation workshop in my Shamanic Reiki Apprentice Program.

Contact me to book a consultation to work one-on-one with me, or if you’re interested in taking classes. In the meantime, I encourage you to look at your physical practice with a new perspective, through the lens of yourself as a Divine Embodied Being. See you on the dance floor.

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