WARNING: Calling major bullshit on marketing and the path of Self-Actualization

THIS  COMMON  PSYCHOLOGICAL  PRINCIPLE  YOU  HAVE  PROBABLY  NEVER  HEARD  OF  IS  KILLING  YOU.

Just kidding! But you've probably seen headlines and marketing like that, right? That's because most marketing uses aforementioned common psychological principle to attack base-level human needs. This principle is known as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and today, I'm going to share with you:

1. My utter disdain for traditional marketing (barf)

2. How Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and its implications are actually a huge detriment to our individual and collective human experience (actually, it may even be killing us)

3. How you can re-interpret this principle to help you make more money, have more free time, have better sex and get your dream job (but not in the way you think, haha)

Let's have a look at this silly principle. Maybe you’ve heard of the Hierarchy of Needs before, or seen a graphic like this one:

I see this concept tossed around most commonly in the context of marketing. If you also hang around with entrepreneurs, I’m guessing you’ve encountered this, too. The advice I hear from business and marketing coaches always seems to be the same: “Find the universal need that your service provides for people and speak to that.” Usually, this means, “Tell potential clients how your service can help them make more money, have more free time, have better sex and get their dream job.” Ever notice how much coach-y and personal development programs focus on this in their marketing? If you haven’t yet, just keep an eye out and you’ll see what I mean.

This is where I take huge issue not only with “spiritual business coaches” (BARF) and marketing to these base-level needs, but also with the Hierarchy of Needs itself (and the way in which this plays out in social norms and expectations of the collective consciousness). How are we supposed to evolve as a global community if this is our psychological conditioning?

Let’s examine this graphic. This food-pyramid-esque image would lead one to believe that the most vital needs are physiological (I’m on board so far), but as we move up the pyramid, we notice that Self-Actualization occupies the little tiny triangle on top. In between are Safety (health, money, home), Love and Belonging (family, connection, community), and Esteem (respect, status, recognition). That’s where I take issue.

Based on the organization of this hierarchy, we can assume that the need of Self-Actualization can only be fulfilled once all tiers below it are fulfilled, and that needs should be addressed in ascending order.

This is total bullshit.

What happens if we treat Self-Actualization as conditional upon all these other things? What are we costing ourselves by saving it for last?

What people don’t understand is that Self-Actualization will help you satisfy all those other needs, and in a more authentic and fulfilling way. Maslow has it backwards.

Let’s look at a re-interpretation of the Hierarchy of Needs. Here, I re-imagined it from two perspectives: Shadow (unactualized) and Light (actualized). What do you notice about the Shadow and Light manifestations of these needs?

Let's look at an example "Shadow" life trajectory of someone who pursues these needs in a linear fashion, as indicated by Maslow's hierarchy.

Imagine this: someone spends the first thirty years of their life working their butt off to get a good job (Safety), gets married and has two kids before age 35 (Love and Belonging) and finally succeeds in getting promoted to the C-suite (Esteem). They then look around at their life for meaning, have an existential crisis because they don’t know who they are as a person, quit their job, divorce their spouse and go on a quest to “find themselves.” (Think I’m exaggerating? I can name a dozen personal acquaintances and clients off the top of my head who have lived some version of this story. I bet you know at least one person who has had this experience.)

Now you might be thinking, “Michelle, this perspective applies to a fairly privileged subset of society. What about other types of people?” Let’s look at this play out for someone else:

Imagine that our second person grew up in an unstable home environment. They live in an underserved community but they do their best to try to make sure their family has somewhere to live (Safety). Maybe they find community in the form of a gang or an abusive partner (Love and Belonging). They have a child before the age of 20, they struggle with substance abuse but they manage to hold it together enough to make ends meet and eventually secure a decent job (Esteem). …until it all comes crashing down around their ears, they think, “I can’t keep living like this,” have an existential crisis and lose everything. (Yes, I have had some of these people as my clients as well.)

Regardless of the path they took to get there, by the time these people find me, they are often in some state of desperation or dire straits in regards to their personal life path and purpose. They desire depth, meaning and fulfillment. They want their lives to be an authentic, positive contribution to the world. Above all, they want to come into the full expression of who they are as a whole person. And they know that any of these other external factors (home, relationship, career, reputation) won’t ever be fully whole, healthy and stable until they access the full potential of who they are.

Let's examine a "Light" life trajectory through the hierarchy of needs. Imagine now that both of our example people had had access to the idea of Self-Actualization as the primary question that informed the pursuit of these other needs. (Maybe they learned about it from family, or in school, or through other early influences.) Once the physiological needs are met, the next quests are a simultaneous investigation of Who am I?” (Self-Actualization) and “As I learn who I am, how does that version of myself live in the world?” (Safety). The pursuit of self-knowledge informs the journey to achieve safety, and vice-versa. This self-aware person may then pursue the needs of Love and Belonging as this emerging, whole Self. Then, when they achieve Esteem, it comes not from the place of ego-inflated-self-aggrandizement, but instead from genuine self-respect and integrity. This person has more authentic and healthy relationships, more fulfilling career, more genuine self-image and more potential for continued growth and harmonious existence. (In other words, they probably make more money, have more free time, have better sex and work their dream job.)

Maybe you recognize some part of your own path in these examples. What would have been different for you if you had given Self-Actualization just as much priority as these other needs? What could be different for you moving forward if you made Self-Actualization a true priority?

The problem is, most of us are spoon-fed so much social conditioning that tells us that Self-Actualization is a luxury, when in reality, it is the fundamental question of humanity: to know oneself. Instead of encouraging this investigation, our current social structures try to sell us the illusion of safety, love and status. But anyone who markets to the levels of Safety, Love and Belonging, and Esteem is preying on base-level human psychology. And if I told you that by participating in my I AM Alchemy course you would obtain these things, I would be blowing smoke up your ass. I can’t guarantee that for you, and I wouldn’t want to. No one can promise you that. Anyone who does is lying.

Instead, I can invite you to consider your true needs and motivation. Do you just want to make more money, or do you actually want to make more money by helping people with the true medicine of your own enlivened soul? Do you just want better sex, or do you actually want more authentic intimacy and respect with your partner that comes from knowing yourself deeply as a person, and being able to connect on that level? Do you just want more free time, or do you actually want more intentional space in your life for creating meaningful experiences that will nourish and uplift you and your family? Do you just want the “dream job” that looks good on paper, or do you actually want a career that challenges you to grow as a person, fulfill your life purpose and contribute positively to the planet?

Embody Wild won’t help you make more money, have better sex, have more free time or get your dream job.

But it will help you find out who you really are. It will teach you tools of self-inquiry, mastery and power. It will give you the space and freedom to discover the magic of your own soul and create your life according to the blueprint of your fully actualized Self.

Embody Wild is not a course for results-oriented people who want instant gratification. Embody Wild is instead a course for those who understand that there are no shortcuts to self-actualization, but that once you embark on this path, the world opens up before you and anything is possible. Embody Wild is for those who are ready to prioritize their own journey of meaning. Embody Wild won’t give you the answer to those other levels of need, but it will show you how to create it for yourself.

...and applications for Embody Wild are open now. If you're ready to see what Embody Wild holds for you, begin the process by submitting your application here.

Are you ready for self-actualization, which will give you the keys to everything else?

Many blessings,

Practice prompt:

Let's look again at this re-interpretation of the Hierarchy of Needs. Take a moment to consider your own life path and trajectory.

Without judgement, what do you notice about yourself and your patterns? How are you engaging with the Shadow and Light interpretations of these needs? What does that mean for your process of Self Actualization? Where do you see yourself in each of these areas?

Part of me was afraid to go to Avalon, and now I know why (plus pictures!)

I returned 90 days ago from a priestess pilgrimage to Avalon. Since then, in addition to massive growth and activation, my life has been completely upended in a few key areas. For these past three months, I’ve been sitting with rage, grief, betrayal, catharsis, purification, power and resilience.

…which is exactly what I was afraid of.

My first morning in Avalon--I awoke before sunrise with a sense of urgency to go up the Tor (the hill). I practically ran to the top and did qi gong as the sun rose orange and burned off the surrounding mist.

In case you’re not familiar with Avalon, it’s an ancient and sacred site in England, most well known in mythology relating to King Arthur and the Lady of the Lake. The Isle of Avalon corresponds to the contemporary town of Glastonbury, where there are many cherished sacred sites. I had been feeling the Soul Calling to travel to Avalon for well over a year. The circumstances of my trip were about as divinely aligned as one could imagine, and for months preceding my trip, I felt the energy building with power and possibility.

And yet, along with that sense of power and potential came fear. As I journaled in preparation for the pilgrimage, I found myself expressing trepidation and anxiety. The fear I felt wasn’t attached to any particular concern—I knew from my meditations and my guidance that this pilgrimage was part of a series of powerful initiations, and that I would receive incredible activations as part of my journey. But along with the knowledge of the activations that awaited me, a very human survival-level fear lurked in the background.

It’s a lot easier for me to look back now and understand what I felt at the time. As I was preparing to head into this powerful initiation portal, the part of me that felt afraid was the part of me that has been dying since that trip—the part of me that was burned to ash in my rage, dissolved in a pool of grief and slashed by the sharp blade of betrayal. That part has ultimately surrendered to catharsis.

Friend, have you ever experienced a Soul Calling that simultaneously thrilled and terrified you? Have you felt the raw power and potential that awaits you, but known that it comes at the cost of the life you used to lead? Have you known that, as you were choosing your own liberation, you were also choosing your own death?

I spent more time on the Tor than pretty much anywhere else in Avalon. Here I am after another sunrise practice. I also watched a couple of sunsets, went up a handful of times during the day, and twice after sunset to look at the stars.

I also spent a lot of time in the Chalice Well Gardens. This is the Chalice Well itself, which is connected to the Red Spring (one of the sacred springs of Avalon). I did several mornings of qi gong practice by the Lion's Head fountain in the gardens.

This is exactly the nature of the fear that I felt leading up to my trip. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my pilgrimage to Avalon was rooted in pure soul calling and resonance, but that by taking the trip, I would have to finally let go of one of the most significant aspects of my life. I knew that the initiations I received on this journey would offer me more power and freedom than I could consciously understand, but that I would also be choosing the death of my old self.

Friend, it has been a bumpy ride. This particular death cycle has primarily taken the form of an incredibly challenging breakup. The exact details aren’t important for this story, but suffice it to say that I have been witnessing with dumbfounded amazement the perfect shitstorm that is continuing to unfold even as we speak. Every time I think the situation has bottomed out, the bottom drops again.

It. Fucking. Sucks.

…but in addition to the massive suck-age and heartache, I am also present to the cosmic perfection of it all. My former partner and I were together for two years, despite knowing that we weren’t each other’s people. We figured out very early on in our relationship that we wanted different things and had different visions for our lives, but decided to journey together anyway out of our mutual love and appreciation, and the growth that was available to us even as not-forever-partners. We each became the go-to person for the other. We built a life together that was rich, beautiful and fun. We were in love, and it was good.
But it wasn’t right, and we both knew it. In fact, we both knew it for more than a year before we finally separated in September.

Looking back now, I can easily see that the fear I felt before going to Avalon came from the part of me that knew it would not survive the journey. The version of me in the not-right partnership, the life I had built with someone I loved and was unwilling to leave: that was the part that felt afraid and resistant. That part of me knew that the initiations I would receive on the pilgrimage would shift me out of alignment with staying in that relationship. I knew that going to Avalon and walking through that portal would mean the end of that chapter of my life.

And just three short weeks after arriving back from Avalon, it all came crashing down in a non-negotiable, can’t-possibly-ignore, what-the-fuck-is-happening, shitstorm that I have been processing and integrating since the beginning of September.

Even though the aftermath of my Avalon trip looks for all intents and purposes like total destruction, entering that initiation portal was one of the most powerful choices I have ever made, and I have no regrets. Even though it has meant the death of my relationship (along with many other connected parts of my identity and life structure) and the continued processing of uncomfortable feelings and shitty circumstances, I am glad I chose that path. Remember the rage, grief, betrayal and catharsis I mentioned earlier? Even though these energies have challenged me to my core, they have been vitally important to the process, because they gave me the perfect fodder to alchemize into true power and resilience. I am blowing my own mind every day with who I am becoming and what I am capable of.

My group had private access to Stonehenge on the last day of the pilgrimage.

Just as I’m experiencing the 3D “whiplash” in response to massive energetic expansion, this Soul Calling has also paved the way for massive growth in other areas. My energetic mastery, psychic perception and attunement to the subtle levels is off the charts. Aside from the relationship blowup, my return from Avalon has included many creative and fruitful projects. I have also begun to refine my work with Dragons and work with higher-vibration practices. My physical body feels more healthy and vital, my community connections are flourishing and I have been invited to share my work in new and exciting places.

I have shared very little about my Avalon trip (it’s obviously still landing and integrating), but it felt important to share with you about the ripple effects of an activation experience. (Side note: did you catch the episode of Shaman Sister Sessions that went out two weeks ago? It was about Soul Activations, and it is directly related to our topic for today. Check it out here.) In particular, I wanted to share this with you because I know I’m not alone when it comes to feeling fear around a soul calling.

Friend, I bet you can relate. Maybe you’ve had an experience like mine, where you feel the power and potential leading up to an initiation experience, knowing that part of you will die in the process, but you choose it anyway. Or maybe you have felt the power and potential emanating from a soul calling, but you haven’t answered it because the cost seems too great. Maybe you’re afraid to let that part of yourself die, so you have yet to step through the initiation portal that awaits you.

I am here to tell you that you will be okay. I promise. It might not seem like it, and believe me, I’ve heard all the objections. Their Soul Calling will lead them to this lineage and body of knowledge, but when it comes time to commit to their journey, their hidden fears come up. When we dig deeper and finally get to the root of it, they say things like, “I’m afraid my marriage won’t survive,” or, “I’m afraid I’ll lose my friends and family because they won’t understand me,” or, “I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep putting up with what I have been tolerating,” or, “I’m afraid because I don’t know who I’ll be if I say yes to that level of growth.” Essentially, all of these people fear the same thing: the death of their old Self.

What about you? What Soul Calling is inviting you to step through a powerful initiation portal, and at what cost? What liberation, power and potential awaits you as you surrender your past self to death?

Are you willing to let yourself die in order to grow and be reborn? Are you willing to shift out of alignment with everything that doesn’t serve you anymore, so you can create more of what does?

It may not be comfortable, but I promise, it’s worth it.

And if your Soul Calling is asking you to step into the initiation portal of Embody Wild, I invite you to answer the call. What growth, expansion and rebirth waits for you on the other side?

If you're ready to see what Embody Wild holds for you, begin the process by submitting your application here.

Your Soul Calling is waiting for you. What do you need to do to answer it?

Many blessings,

Inspiration

While at Stonehenge, I had several visions, past life memories and revisited soul agreements. This was one of the places where I passed through a major initiation portal.

Can you see the double rainbow? I took this picture on my last evening in Avalon after a torrential rainstorm. I climbed Wearyall hill to get a look at the Tor and was treated to this powerful sight.

The Empowered Healer Checklist

Over my 15+ years of training and practice, I've found that there are a few key essentials that make all the difference both in my personal practice and in my ability to offer healing to others. These were essential skills that I imparted during my 7 years teaching Reiki, and continue to teach to my private clients and Alchemy students.

...Do you want to know what they are???
 

How do you know if you're an Empowered healer?
Use the Empowered Healer checklist to find out!

The Empowered Healer Checklist

Every Empowered Healer should feel confident in these 5 key areas:

1. Energetic Anatomy: You know how energy naturally moves through the body and energy centers. You can identify different layers of your energy body, direct flow of energy and tell if something is out of alignment.

2. Clearing energy: You can comfortably and confidently use purging, releasing and cleansing techniques to clear the different energy bodies. You know how to clear trapped emotion, old energetic residue, other people's energy and stagnation.

3. Grounding energy: You know how to safely ground into Earthly and embodied energies. You know how to return all parts of your energy back to your body and create a solid container.

4. Cultivating energy: You feel confident building and cultivating your energy field. You know how to increase the vibration and the amount of energy in your field, and safely work with it.

5. Protecting energy: You know how to create a non-defensive protective field. You feel comfortable setting and asserting energetic boundaries, especially in stressful or chaotic surroundings. You know how to keep your energies safe.

If you answered an enthusiastic YES to all of these, congratulations! You're an Empowered Healer!

Were there some points where you didn't feel so confident? Did you see some areas where you would like to grow and feel more comfortable?

Applications for I AM Alchemy are now open. Whether you are an existing or aspiring practitioner, healer or coach, or whether you want to spend 12 months walking the Alchemist path as part of your personal journey of Self Mastery... if you want to bring practical application of real-time magic and alignment with Universal forces of creation to your life, I AM Alchemy is for you.

Are you ready to go from being "just another healer" to a Fully Empowered Master of Transformation?

Apply now for I AM Alchemy 2020!

Journal/Meditation prompts:
 

Who am I as an Empowered Healer?
What dreams do I have for myself in my Healing abilities?
What do I need to learn or be in order for that to happen?

New Moon in Capricorn: Sacred Structure

The New Moon in Capricorn next Tuesday brings us the powerful medicine of Sacred Structure.

Without our bones, it doesn't matter how much muscle or energy or force of will we have: we would not be able to move an inch.

The same is true of anything in our lives: without structure to support and hold a container, action becomes impossible. We spend so much time and energy focused on inspiration, movement, fire and momentum... but running around the world fueled by pure spirit is completely unsustainable. If we're hoping to build mountains, we need to root in the bedrock.

And I'm building mountains. Are you?

If so, we must focus on the foundations of our lives. What sacred structures can we build for ourselves to be able to grow? How can we strengthen the "bones" of our lives to give stability and sustainability to our actions? How can we make our work and our presence in the world more lasting, more meaningful and more powerful?

Let's build our bones together.

Here's my problem with the "New Year..."

I admit it--I'm a little bit of a grouch about the New Year. (In fact, I'm a bit grumpy about most organized holidays. My mom maintains that it's because I don't like being told what to do--I mostly just object to an arbitrary calendar.)

Don't get me wrong, I love honoring new beginnings. I actually celebrate the new year on the Winter Solstice--the point at which the days start growing longer with the return of the light here in the Northern Hemisphere. It feels great to acknowledge turning points, set intentions and enjoy changes in energy.

What drives me a little bit bonkers about the New Year is the "wave a magic wand" mentality that comes with it. The whole business of resolutions is just that: business. It's great marketing!

Most new year's resolutions are doomed to fail. People set completely unrealistic goals for themselves and abandon them after a few weeks, or set intentions for which they simply don't have the knowledge or skill set to fulfill.

So why, exactly, does this popular perception of the New Year frustrate the dickens out of me?

Because most people don't understand the nature of change and what it truly takes to create sustainable transformation.

I want people to succeed in the goals they set for themselves. Really, I do! I want people to feel empowered, enlivened and inspired to manifest the changes they most desire. More than just about anything, I hold in my heart the deepest wish for all humans to remember who they are and claim their role as the magical creators of their fabulous lives.

But it takes more than waving a magic wand to get there.

Among other things, it takes knowing ourselves, understanding our patterns, bring awareness to our choices, and being willing to feel uncomfortable. It takes being willing to feel, period!

It takes a willingness to master the cycles of power and come into right relationship with the nature of change.

Now, why don't we see that on a billboard?

Look below for my gift to you this January--the first step in mastering the cycles of change. Best wishes for a beautiful New Year!

"New Year, New You!"

...wait, what?

I've seen this marketing slogan all over the place every new year for as long as I can remember.

But what the heck does it actually mean? All of a sudden, the calendar flips and we transform into a different person? Some arbitrary day dictates a new chapter in our lives, where instantly we are capable of altering deeply ingrained patterns of thought, choice and behavior? That "New You" has been inside you all along, just waiting for the year to turn over so it can finally reveal itself?

Yeah, it doesn't work like that.

Of course we want the easy fix. Naturally, taking a deep look at the core of our identity structure can be pretty darn uncomfortable. But since we don't like to be uncomfortable or inconvenienced, it makes sense that we would rather hang all our hopes for personal transformation on a catchy slogan that requires no work or changes in behavior on our part.

"New Year, New You! Just make a wish, it will come true!"

Thank goodness it doesn't actually happen that way. We would be missing out on one heck of an epic journey into the center of our own Being... remembering your truest nature, the REAL you.

The only way we can actualize change in ourselves, our lives and our identities is by coming into deep, grounded knowledge of who we are--the I AM.

Join me for a master class on exploring your I AM, experience a guided journey and learn how to come into greater alignment with your Highest Self on every level.

Rather than the "New You," wouldn't you rather meet the "Real You?"

Do I Trust Myself?

I had the most beautiful session yesterday with a client whom I have known for many years. We delved into some deep soul contract work (the subject of December's master class, in case you missed it! See below). As a part of this journey into her soul contract, we examined the idea of who we are in terms of trust.

How do we relate to the idea of trust and truth? How do we trust ourselves? How does that inform our identity, our I AM? In turn, how does that affect the way we live and the choices we make?

It can be easy to trust ourselves when things are going well. But the true test of our ability to ground in and fully surrender to radical self-trust comes when it feels like we have no idea what the heck we're doing. In those moments, we have the opportunity to pause, remember who we truly are, and say, "Yes!" to ourselves and our innate wisdom.

As I reflect on some of my major life events of 2017, I see plenty of places where I was able to drop into deep self-trust.

...and I also see some areas where it took me longer than I would have liked to get to that place, or where I didn't trust myself and my innate wisdom because I wanted something else to happen. In these moments, I ended up wishing I had just listened to that whisper at the core of my being that always tells me the truth.

All of these moments are important. I have learned just as much (more, actually) from those times of hesitancy and resistance as I have from my "easy" wins. As long as we can do so without punishing ourselves or spiraling into guilt, shame or blame, reviewing those times when we didn't fully trust ourselves can provide a tremendous opportunity to alter our patterns of behavior.

The more we can surrender into radical trust of our truest nature, the freer we will be to put it into action and show up the way we want to in the world. Here's to a 2018 full of opportunities to trust ourselves even more!

Journal Prompts:

As we head into the final days of 2017, I invite you to examine your relationship with trust--particularly how you trust yourself (or not):

When is it easy for me to trust myself?
When do I find it challenging?
What are the differences in those circumstances?
What does it take for me to bridge the gap?