Honoring the Ancestors

Hello, friends! Here in the northern hemisphere, we are entering the portal of Samhain. (This holy day is commonly acknowledged on November 1, solar Samhain falls around November 7, and lunar Samhain varies with the lunar cycle. Pick your favorite). Samhain (pronounced SOW-in, or SOW-ain), one of the four cross-quarter holy days, marks a time of year when the veil between this world and the spirit realm is thin.

During this season, we honor the third and final harvest, release and Death on Gaia. The solar cycle of the year ends, and we prepare for the next.  This is the portal of the Tomb: returning to the Void, surrender and rest.

This holy day is a powerful time to celebrate our ancestors--those ones who came before us, both known and beyond our knowing, who carried the torch of life through the ages, and whose flame lives on in us today.

At this time, we may request blessings and support from our healed ancestors.

We may offer blessings and healing to our ancestors who are wounded or suffering.

We may make offerings and prayers for ourselves to become good ancestors and take our seat of power to be in healthy service to all of our descendants (children, ideas, projects and legacy).

If you are called to do so, you can make a dedicated ancestor altar for the season for the purpose of prayers, offerings and healing work. Here are some tips on how to do that:

Michelle’s ancestor altar

How to Make an Ancestor Altar

There are many ways to make your ancestor altar. Some cultures and traditions have specific directions and practices, and if you observe these practices, go for it. If not, you can still honor your ancestors in an appropriate and respectful way.

Here are some items you may wish to include on your ancestor altar:

• Photos of your ancestors

• Personal belongings or heirlooms from your ancestors

• Items in the color red, to honor the bloodlines

• Offerings of food and drink (especially any known favorites of your ancestors,). You may wish to offer a small bite of your meal to the altar daily.

• Candles, flowers, incense and other nourishing/energizing sacred offerings

• In many traditions, offerings of tobacco, alcohol and sugar are considered particularly nourishing and energizing to the spirits. Please use your best discernment of what feels healthy and appropriate, especially if you are aware of a history of addiction within your lineage.

I invite you to bring your authentic, sovereign prayer to connecting with your ancestors. If you want some inspiration, here is an ancestor song:

We are remembering all of our ancestors
We are remembering all of our ancestors
Deep are the roots of the tree
Long is our memory
Great is our family
Of love alive in me
Of love alive in me

I'll be posting more ancestor songs on Instagram over the next couple of weeks. If you want to tune in, follow me there for more.

Blessed Samhain!

Michelle Hawk

How to Recognize and Integrate Nature Spirit Initiations

I was attacked by an owl in September 2017.

One week later, I was catalyzed into a major healing initiation, supported by Owl medicine.

In Shamanic tradition, attacks, stings, bites or significant encounters with animals are sometimes recognized as initiations into their medicine. The same is true for plants: stings, scratches, poisoning, reaction or significant encounters are sometimes, but not always, initiations.

I had just moved into a new home, and the first thing I do whenever I move to a new place is to walk the area and get to know the land and local nature spirits. I walked through a patch of forest behind my neighborhood and had just come out the other side when something slammed into the back of my head.

I whipped around in stunned confusion, and saw an owl flying away. It landed on a nearby tree branch and regarded me with piercing eyes. We stared at each other for a moment, and it launched itself at me again, flying right towards my face. I reflexively raised my arms and yelled something, and it flew back to the branch. I walked away, looking over my shoulder. By the time I walked a shaky lap to calm down, it had gone. I had to go back through the forest to get home, but I did not see the owl again that evening.

The following day, I returned to the patch of forest and saw several snags (standing dead trees) with holes that looked ideal for owl roosts. I made an offering to Owl at one of the snags and asked for their consent to share this land with them.

The big bump on my head remained for about a week, right at the site of my back body Third Eye. During that time, I reflected on Owl energy. I was unsure if this had merely been an introduction to a local nature spirit, or if it was an initiation into their medicine to form a deep allyship. The answer soon became obvious.

The following week, I decided to invoke my spirit team for a healing session, for what I thought was a completely unrelated issue. Something regarding my ancestral lineages had been bothering me in the back of my mind for a while, and I wanted to give it some attention to see what would emerge.

As I dove in, I saw big, black eyes rushing toward me through the darkness, and I felt a jolt of energy as I recognized the owl’s eyes. I remembered thinking at the time of the attack, “I understand why some cultures are afraid of owls.” They are silent, ghostly predators who come alive in the shadow. There are some species of owls who have bright yellow irises and their eyes look more “cute” and friendly to our human perception, but the kind of owl that attacked me has eyes that look completely black. (It was a Barred Owl. Go ahead, look up a picture and imagine it flying at your face. It was intimidating.)

As the black eyes filled my inner vision, I was surrounded in soft darkness. I felt my awareness heighten, my senses sharpened and everything seemed to go still. I heard the words, “It is safe to see.” The darkness seemed to ease, but I realized it was my perception that had changed, not the light.

And then Owl showed me a puzzle piece that I had never seen in 30 years of knowing my family history, and I felt the collective grief and pain of my ancestors come crashing down.

I ended up on the floor of my healing room, sobbing as I channeled the words and the grief of my ancestors. But even though I felt their heartbreak moving through me like a river, I felt myself held in the soft embrace of Owl wings, and I saw the black eyes reminding me that it was safe to see in the darkness.

When Owl spirit sent one of its children to strike me in the back of the head, it was not merely an introduction to the local land guardians. It was an infusion of Owl medicine directly into my Third Eye. Owl was preparing me to serve the healing of some deep, multigenerational grief in my own lineage, and also to help others navigate their darkness with more peace and comfort. Owl is one of my primary spirit allies when I support my clients in deep shadow work. When I took up painting a few years ago, my first project was an Owl portrait that now hangs in the stairwell leading up to the healing room.

I have continued to study with Owl since my initiation. I regularly see owls in that same patch of forest, but have never been attacked again. I now live on different land and there are owl guardians here as well: Barred Owls, and tiny Western Screech Owls that are not shy about flitting close to me and Athena, and could fit in the palm of my hand.

Not every encounter with a nature spirit is an initiation into their medicine. Sometimes they appear as a message or an invitation, sometimes they show up just to hang out, or sometimes they are simply living their lives as sovereign beings in our vicinity.

Here are some indicators that a nature spirit is showing up not just as an encounter, but a medicine initiation:

• A nature spirit ally is more likely to appear at a threshold moment in your life. Big shifts make space for new energy, and as you enter new life chapters and phases, you will grow with new allyships.

• Nature spirit initiations are not always dramatic. They often appear as repeat encounters, both in their embodied form and in other areas. (Maybe you start seeing rabbits in your neighborhood, and then you see rabbit stickers, toys or artwork everywhere you turn. Follow the White Rabbit!) Repeat encounters gradually introduce you to the medicine of this nature spirit and open you to receive their teachings.

• Sometimes initiations are dramatic or intense encounters, but not every dramatic encounter is an initiation. During a dramatic encounter such as an attack, there is a code transmission that integrates over a longer period of time.

• If you say yes to this ally and invite them in, they will start to show up in your life, appear in your meditations, etc. You can support this relationship by making offerings, observing them in a respectful way, and communicating with them in your personal practice.

Do you want to…

• …receive teachings and initiations from the original wisdom keepers: plants, animals, stones and nature herself?

• …create functionally purposeful allyships with local nature spirits to support your spiritual practice?

• …build lifelong partnerships with powerful natural allies and receive deep initiations into their mysteries?

• …confidently invoke the nature spirits during your meditation or ceremonial practice?

• …receive guidance and support as you establish powerful partnerships with new spirit allies?

Sacred Ecology begins July 26.

Register now!

Healing Through the Timeline: Trauma, Ancestors and a New Earth

You may have heard me mention a “shitty breakup” that took place last fall. In fact, the nightmare of those four days took place exactly six months ago this past weekend.

To give you a little bit of context, my ex and I were together for two years. There was a lot about our relationship that was really good and loving, but we simply weren’t right for each other. We “officially” broke up last summer, but continued for all intents and purposes to be in each other’s lives as partners because we loved each other so much. So of course, I was fully invested in supporting her with her big annual event: a four-day in-residence retreat in September.

The specifics of what happened at that event are not important for this story. All you need to know is that my partner of two years broke my trust more hurtfully than I ever thought possible, in a way that was completely out of integrity at every turn. Even worse, this betrayal took place during a time when I put everything else aside to help her and support her vision. Even worse still, I was stuck at this event for four days in a leadership role. I couldn’t leave, as I was responsible for her event attendees. My only option for external support was two other staffers who knew what was going on and helped me hold it together in front of 60+ people. During that time, I called deeply upon my own reserves of resilience and self-love. All you need to know is that those were four of the most challenging days of my life, and I’ve been healing and processing the resulting lessons and trauma in waves for the last six months.

Please understand, I’m in a good place now. In fact, I’m super impressed with myself and the amazing healing work I’ve done. (Self-hug. Good job, Michelle!) Overall, I have grown into a much healthier, more vibrant and alive place than I’ve been in a long time. And even though that challenging experience gave rise to so much growth and goodness, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard as f***. Even six months later, I still have the occasional wave of trauma echoes rolling through, and I get to roll up my sleeves and practice grace and compassion.

One such wave came through in a big way last week, and it's directly related to that powerful Full Moon. (Did you see it coming up huge and orange the other night???)

I felt “off” all day Thursday and Friday. I felt tender, reactive, volatile and like my energy was blocked. I did my practices, canceled everything that wasn’t important and took care of myself because I could tell something big was ready to shift.

On Friday night, I woke up promptly a few minutes before 3am. (The time period of 3-5am is when a lot of energy healing and psychic activity takes place. Usually I’ll wake up at that time if there’s deep healing work to be done, or Spirit really wants my attention.) Instead of feeling exasperated or resentful as I sometimes do when nudged awake at this hour, I asked with calm curiosity, “What do you want me to know?”

Immediately, I knew that I was being haunted. I rarely use that term, but the word “haunted” popped unmistakably into my mind, and I felt a lingering energy present with me. I asked if I was being haunted by my ex. “Not exactly.” I felt some of her energy but it didn’t feel like her, specifically. I asked if I was being haunted by anyone or anything else. “No.”

Then I saw a vision of myself from six months ago, and I realized that I was being haunted by this past version of myself. I looked awful. The energy around me was sharp, hot and fragmented, like shattered glass. I also felt a lot of wetness (grief is a very “wet” emotional energy). This version of me from the past looked enraged, on the verge of tears, and ready to explode. In other words, I saw myself as I felt during those four days.

I maintained the feeling of calm curiosity as I surrounded this vision of myself with love and compassion. As I soothed this Self, I was transported back to the event. I saw my Current Self standing next to my Past Self. I saw my Current Self at times literally with my hands on my shoulders from behind, offering love and support to my Past Self. I literally had my own back. I watched myself walk by my own side through every trauma of those four days. My Current Self held my Past Self as I sobbed in rage and grief. I got to relive one of the most hurtful experiences of my life from the perspective of six months down the road, knowing that I am whole and illuminated on the other side of this challenge. I got to support my Past Self from a place of empowerment, grace and feeling secure in my own health, well-being and aliveness. Instead of simply remembering the event as my Past Self, I got to re-experience it with my Past Self, with all the perspective and grace of my current reality. And it felt completely different.

Take a moment and let this sink in: I got to retroactively go back and offer myself healing through the timeline (Energetic Principle #1, above). Read on.

When I think about my lived experience of the event, I remember how supported I felt, even in the midst of four of the worst days of my life. Despite the devastating feeling of betrayal and horrible disillusionment, despite feeling bitter, trapped and alone, I remember feeling almost surprised at how much loving energy I felt around me. I remember several moments when I looked around and almost laughed at the astonishing juxtaposition: on one hand, a key area of my life was actively falling apart in irreparable damage. On the other, I felt more connected, supported and loved than I had any logical reason to feel.

I know now that, during the event, the support I felt was coming not only from my Guides and Teachers (as I thought at the time), but also from my Current Self offering healing that positively impacted my past experience (Energetic Principle #2, above). Read on.

Two of these moments in particular stand out:

On Saturday night after the main event of the evening, I made my way back to the staff house I shared with my partner. I didn’t even know if she would come back that night, or if she would find somewhere else to stay. Regardless, I felt sickened, physically nauseated and shaking from head to toe. Then the weirdest sensation came over me, and I watched as my hands started packing up all my things. Literally, that’s what it felt like. I didn’t consciously make the decision, but somehow my body was moving as if someone else had taken control and was telling it what to do. I watched my body move calmly around the space and was fascinated at the precise care and assuredness my hands exhibited, while my heart and mind felt anything but calm. At the time, I simply marveled at the feeling and let it happen.

The other night as I lay in bed and watched this vision, I saw my Current Self packing up my things at the event. I watched myself calmly and firmly guide my Past Self to take the necessary steps to remove myself from further harm, just as I would guide a friend or client in the middle of a traumatic situation. What I experienced in the moment at the event was my Current Self directing my movements, during a time when I was incapable of making grounded decisions and taking empowered action. Just like my friend describing the car accident, I experienced the visceral feeling of receiving my own, retroactive healing during the traumatic moment itself.

The other big moment of healing I experienced directly while at the event took place that night as I lay awake in a fiery rage. After wandering around and finding absolutely no available beds (short of dragging a mattress into the van), I had decided to sleep on a narrow cot in the next room, rather than stay one more second in a bed I had shared with my partner. I lay seething, wracked with grief and rage in equal measure, and used my breath to open my channels and allow the energy to flow. Suddenly, I was overcome with bliss. I didn’t consciously understand it, but I knew somehow that I had shifted out of the raw pain and into the pure life force at its core. I didn’t question it, I simply let myself dissolve in that bliss and be revitalized by it.

The other night as I watched this vision, I saw my Current Self kneeling beside the cot, placing my hands on my Past Self and offering all the healing love and compassion in my heart. And I saw the practices and intention I had at the time combine with and respond to this healing through the timeline. In the past, I experienced it as an inexplicable gratitude and euphoria. But now I know that I was able to retroactively heal and alter my lived experience of an incredibly traumatic circumstance. I felt healing take place the other night as I offered love to myself in the past, and I felt healing even while at the event, as I received love and blessings from myself in the future.

When I eventually did go back to sleep the other night, I knew that some profound healing work had taken place. Indeed, the next several days have felt much lighter and clearer.
 

TAKEAWAYS:

(If you decided to skip ahead, resume reading here.)

• I was guided by Spirit to offer healing energy to a past situation, and it worked.

• I experienced a profound and immediate relief by offering healing energy through the timeline. I feel the effects of this healing not only in my current reality, but I also experienced the benefits during the traumatic incident itself.

• As citizens of Earth and Lightworkers on this planet, we all received a powerful Priest/ess activation from the Virgo Full Moon. We are all being prompted and activated to offer healing energy throughout the timeline for the benefit of All Beings.

• As we are empowered Creators building a New Earth, we have the opportunity to offer healing to our ancestors, to our own past lives, to our descendants and to the future of Earth.

• It is vitally important that we use this Sacred Work to offer healing through the timeline, not only to clear and heal trauma from the past, but also to set the course for our future, personally and collectively.

• At a time of tremendous uncertainty and fear, a lot of people are asking, “What’s going to happen?” Friends, we answer that question every day with our choices, our prayers, our words and our actions. Instead of asking what the future holds, part of the Priest/ess path is the Sacred Work of anchoring in the frequency of harmonious alignment, joy, peace and right relation that spans throughout the timeline. The Sacred Work is to lovingly guide our planet and all beings to live in alignment with frequency, and create a New Earth in that vision.

  Get Support:

  Are you ready to step fully into your Embodied, Wild Self and offer powerful healing throughout the timeline, for the benefit of All Beings?
  
  Apply now for Embody Wild™ 1:1! Check out the details and submit your application here.

Practice Prompts For You:

(This is a new style so I'm open to feedback on this variation of Practice Prompt--let me know how you like it! One prompt each for ceremony, journaling, movement, discussion and inspired action.)

Ceremony: Hold a Full Moon ritual for yourself (if you haven’t already)

Journal: What is my Sacred Work?

Move: Ask your body how it wants to feel, move and express your Sacred Work. Dance, roll, stretch, walk it out.

Discuss: With a friend/family/community member, talk about the concept of healing through the timeline. What past challenges and traumas would you like to heal for yourself and for the planet? What future healing would you like to see for yourself and for everyone?

Act: What ONE inspired action step can you take TODAY to move in this direction?

Get Support: Are you ready to step fully into your Embodied, Wild Self and offer powerful healing throughout the timeline, for the benefit of All Beings?

Apply now for Embody Wild™ 1:1!